Thread: Why I love (and hate) dating Russian men (article)

Originally Posted by Hanna

Well, back on topic: Since I'm single -- yeah, I definitely think I could fall for a Russian man. No doubt about it. But then again, somebody's nationality is more of an afterthought, isn't it? I was once extremely attracted to a colleague who was Serbian (they're a bit like Russians, I guess, lol) --a colleague. The circumstances were wrong, but I really, really liked everything about him and I could tell it was reciprocated. That rarely happens to me (I mean just getting very physically attracted to a man in that way). Ice queen, lol.

I got quite a lot of male attention when I stayed at a sanatorium in Belarus. (I'd say there might be a bit a of a difference between Belarussians and Russians though). Gosh there was quite a lot of flirting going on there! It wouldn't surprise me if some of the people went there to actually meet someone, have a flirt or whatever! Divorcees in their 30s and 40s. So if anyone wanted to meet a Russian man 30+ then they should definitely check in to a sanatorium. Nice, relaxing, totally unpretentious, healthy, interesting and a language immersion. If you are half decent looking you will be chatted up. But watch out for the married men!

Hanna, I was in love with a Russian man in my 20's! It was an impossible situation though. Soviet times. It was not condoned if you know what I mean. There were powers greater than both of us which made the whole thing "нельзя". Those damn feelings never went away, either. I connected with him on the internet a couple years back and was shocked to discover that all the old feelings were still there! Clearly he felt something too, because he started flirting with me, telling me how beautiful I was and reminding me of the time we almost kissed. It was crazy. I felt like I was in my 20's again. It wreaked havoc on my marriage too, and so we had to break off contact. I never would have imagined that I still had feelings for him, or I would not have connected with him again. I felt secure in my marriage, but the moment I heard his voice on the phone, it was like being transported instantly back in time and all those feelings came flooding back. It was overwhelming! Love is a really, REALLY powerful thing. Unfortunately, our cultures are so far apart (American and Russian) in some ways, that it probably never would have worked out in the first place. Of course, I wish we could have at least had a chance to find out. But there is nothing I can do to change the past, so I decided to write a book about it. I may as well do something productive while I get him out of my system, right? LOL

PS - by the way, I know what "sanatorium" means in Russia, but it means a very different thing in the US. In America, a sanatorium is a home for people who are mentally disturbed.

Originally Posted by Deborski

wreaked havoc on my marriage too, and so we had to break off contact.

omg, you continue to surprise me! Would never have guessed that you were married when you went there, lol....
He must have been quite surprised when he realised you were relocating to the USSR!?
I thought I was independent, but you are in a league of your own! It's very fascinating

As for feminism: I don't have a consistent view on that - I vary in my views on it. I can't really say anything categorical about it.

Originally Posted by Hanna

omg, you continue to surprise me! Would never have guessed that you were married when you went there, lol....
He must have been quite surprised when he realised you were relocating to the USSR!?
I thought I was independent, but you are in a league of your own! It's very fascinating

No, no, I wasn't married when I went to the USSR. Maybe I didn't say that clearly enough. I was single, in my 20's and had feelings for one of the Russian guys I worked with, but it was "нельзя" - unsanctioned.

By the time I reconnected with the Russian guy, 20 years later, I was married to Ben, my all-American husband, and reconnecting with the Russian guy wreaked havoc on our marriage because all the old feelings came back like a tsunami rolling through my heart. It made me question everything, doubt everything, and basically put me in a very dark place for a couple years. But I'm over it now. Moved on. Told that Russian guy "прощай" and am trying to work out things with my husband, who has been extremely understanding and forgiving of this whole mess.