Thread: Why I love (and hate) dating Russian men (article)

I consider myself a feminist, but then again, my idea of feminism is not the same as the feminism I've heard some people describe. Do I think women should have as much opportunity to pursue their dreams as men? Yes! Do I think a woman should have to act like a man to achieve those dreams? No.

I never enjoyed wearing suits with extra wide shoulders to look more "masculine" in the workplace. I never burned my bras, either, though I admit the darn things make me uncomfortable and I don't wear them at home. My husband has not complained

I think if a guy is really into a woman it doesn't matter how she acts, so a woman may as well be authentic and the right man will be attracted to her for what she is!

Originally Posted by Deborski

I consider myself a feminist, but then again, my idea of feminism is not the same as the feminism I've heard some people describe. Do I think women should have as much opportunity to pursue their dreams as men? Yes! Do I think a woman should have to act like a man to achieve those dreams? No.

I never enjoyed wearing suits with extra wide shoulders to look more "masculine" in the workplace. I never burned my bras, either, though I admit the darn things make me uncomfortable and I don't wear them at home. My husband has not complained

I think if a guy is really into a woman it doesn't matter how she acts, so a woman may as well be authentic and the right man will be attracted to her for what she is!

I'm with you. When women become like men, mentally, and consider that to be feminism, then where's the liberation?
I really struggle with the macho competition at work. It's hard work to live up to the MALE norm in order to be successful. It's psychologically exhausting. I don't think it's emotionally healthy. It's also quite obvious that it's a relationship wrecker and, I believe, to an extent, a turnoff for men. We can't re-program the male brain just because we want a career. Also, taking on male characteristics all day at work, how do you suddenly just drop that mindset when you come home? It's practically schizophrenia...

LIkewise men who twist around themselves to prove how politically correct they are. I doubt any of the Russians here do that, but certainly in many other countries there are men who claim to be "feminist" etc. But I don't need another girlfriend in a man's body! I need a man who has different strengths than me. I believe men and women should complement and respect each other, not compete with each other. Women are not the weaker vessels, our strengths are just different and deserve equal recognition.

To me, feminism is being able to be a woman and have my feminine strengths valued equally highly as male strengths. Feminism is not about running around in stilettos hurting your feet and being easy prey. It's not about sleeping around and selling yourself cheaply. It's not about trying to beat men at their own game and being bound to lose out in the end, anyway.

I just think women should be paid equally as men, but should not have to turn into men.

On the other hand, I also support women in jobs which have been considered "men only" in the past. If some women dream of being firefighters, and they can handle the job, then I don't have a problem with that either. I've known a few female firefighters who were excellent at their jobs and every bit as courageous as the men. Not all firefighters need to have brute strength, but most of these girls are naturally very strong.

As a TV reporter, I battled sexism every day and that was tough. I heard men say things like "we need to get the broads out of broadcasting" and so on. Sexist jokes, people assuming I couldn't do my job because I was female, etc. I still managed to win two Emmy Awards during my career because my writing and storytelling were compelling, and that was what mattered. I think having women in the workplace has made the workplace better in a lot of ways. Women have a different perspective than men, and they see "outside of the box" so to speak, so new innovations and new ways of thinking are made possible.

I do think that the earlier generations of feminists had to act more masculine because they were simply not accepted by the all-male workforce otherwise. But since they paved the way for us, these days women are starting to be more feminine and natural while continuing to work. That's a huge relief to me! It is still very difficult for women in non-traditional jobs though, such as police work and so on. One of my close female friends worked as a corrections officer in maximum security prisons and she was one tough girl! She was very small, but she was well trained and she knew how to use leverage in a fight. She was attacked once by a prisoner who weighed about three times more than she did and she ended up on his back, with his face smashed into the floor. So even though she weighed less, she knew how to use his greater weight against him.

It isn't the sort of job I would want to do, personally, but she took a lot of pride in it and I supported her.