Thread: Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part II

See part I also.

3.8
- How many Harvard's alumni need to replace the bolb?
- Two. One of them is calling your father. Other is holding his cocktail.

3.9
Dear teachers! Military's future depends on you!

3.10
It's test time. Minute follows minute. Two students send notices to each
other. Teacher noticed that. He says:
- Why do you it? It's an exam!
- Professor, we're just playing preference...
- Ohhh... I am sorry!

3.11
A freshman will pass an exam today. He's waking up. He has only one thing
in your mind: "It's an exam today". He go to the unversity. He comes in the
classroom. He can't see any known face. He begins pass the exam.
His questions are very hard. He asks you neighbours right, left, back. He
know already what he have to answer. The teacher call he. The
freshman talks something and the teacher says:
- I will tick off the grade B. Are you agree?
- Yes, of course!

The teacher tick off a grade B and talk:
- I see the first time, when a freshman passed the senior's exam!

3.12
It's test time. A student give the teacher his record-book. The student
begins answer. The tacher are finding money in the record-book, but he can't find it.
The student gets a E and goes out of the classroom.

Next student begins answer. The teacher found $500 in his record-book. The
student gets an A and he goes out. Other student comes in the classroom.
The teacher also found $500 in his record-book. The teacher tick off an A and says:
- I love it, when my students are really smart.

3.13
A student pass the exam. He put $600 in his record-book. The tecaher found
money. The student says: $100 for each level (F - $100, ... A - $600). The
student gets an E. The teacher returns $400 after the same time and
says: It's the change.

3.14
Students pass the exam. It's very cold in the classroom. The teacher says:
- Someone, bring me a cup of tea, please.
One student goes out of the classroom and returns with the cup of VODKA.
The teacher's trying it. He looks very glad after that. Nobody has get a
grade below an B.

Next day. It's the same classroom. Same story with a cup of vodka. But at
this time nobody has get a grade above a D. Students are asking the
teacher after an exam:
- Why is that?
- I don't like, when sombedy repeat something.

Well Astronomer, I see nobody has corrected this text so far, so here are my suggested corrections, alternatives and moved text:

3.8
- How many Harvard alumni are needed to replace a light bulb?
- Two. One of them is calling your father/the maintenance man. The other is holding his cocktail.

3.9
Dear teachers! The/Our military's future depends on you!

3.10
It's test time. Minute follows after minute/Minutes tick by. Two students send notes to each other. The teacher saw that. He says:
- Why did you do it? It's an exam!
- Professor, we're just playing preference/tic-tac-toe...
- Ohhh... I am sorry!

3.11
A freshman will take an exam today. As he's waking up he has only one thing on his mind: "It's an exam today". He goes to the unversity. He comes in/He enters the classroom. He can't see any known face/He doesn't recognize anybody. He begins to take the exam. His/The questions are very hard. He asks his neighbours/neighbors (US) on the right, left, and in back. He knows already what he has to answer. The teacher calls on him. The
freshman says something and the teacher says:
- I will tick off/check off the grade B. Do you agree?
- Yes, of course!

The teacher ticks off/checks off the grade B and says:
- I see for the first time, when/that a freshman passed/has passed the senior's exam!

3.12
It's test time. A student gives the teacher his record-book. The student begins his answer. The teacher is looking for money in the record-book, but he can't find it. The student gets a E and goes out of the classroom.

The next student begins his answer. The teacher found $500 in his record-book. The student gets an A and he goes out.

Another student comes in/into the classroom. The teacher also found $500 in his record-book. The teacher ticks off/checks off an A and says:
- I love it, when my students are really smart.

3.13
A student takes the exam. He put $600 in his record-book. The tecaher finds money. The student says: $100 for each level (F - $100, ... A - $600). The student gets an E. The teacher returns $400 at the same time and says: It's the change.

3.14
Students take an exam. It's very cold in the classroom. The teacher says:
- Someone, bring me a cup of tea, please.
One student goes out of the classroom and returns with a cup of VODKA.
The teacher's tries/drinks it. He looks very glad after that. Nobody got a grade below an B.

The next day. It's the same classroom. It's the same story with a cup of vodka. But this time nobody has gotten/nobody got a grade above a D. Students ask/asked the teacher after the exam:
- Why is that?/Why did you give such low grades?
- I don't like it, when somebody repeats something.

Edited. L.

Originally Posted by charlestonian

(Edited. L.)

What a wonderful sentiment on a forum devoted to learning.

Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.

Originally Posted by chaika

Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.

Where did you lose E?

Originally Posted by chaika

Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.

OK. Просто из фразы

In american schools A is the best grade, then B, etc.
A grade of F means you must take the class again.

я предположил, что весь ряд оценок выглядит как ABCDEF, что соответствует началу алфавита... А оказалось, что не так.

Англо-русский неприличный стишок для первого курса института.

If you want to be здоров
Go на луг to f u c k коров.

Rytom wrote: Where did you lose E? Here is one answer: http://ask.yahoo.com/20060103.html

However there are schools at all levels in the United States which have found the E grade:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grading_in ... ted_States
http://www.newport.k12.nh.us/Schools/NH ... 6-2007.pdf
http://www2.milwaukee.k12.wi.us/governa ... 7/7_33.pdf
http://www.washington.edu/faculty/facse ... 03-11.html
http://www.umflint.edu/departments/cata ... hsinfo.php
http://www.law.washington.edu/Students/ ... ading.html
http://www.grad.washington.edu/stsv/gradpol3.htm

Woah! Thank you very much for hyperlinks!