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Thread: Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part I

  1. #1
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    Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part I

    Hello, everybody!

    English is not my native language, consequently, my translations have some
    mistakes. Please, correct me. Thanks.

    3.1
    A teacher came to the doctor. The teacher says:
    - Doctor, nightmares follow me.
    - What are your nightmares?
    - Well... I'm sleeping and I'm having the dream. I'm giving the lesson and
    I can't say anything, because I forget words. It's so depressing...
    - That's OK. You just work very hard. Relax, go home. Take easy...
    - But Doc, my nightmare is not the same.
    - (The doc is wondering).
    - When I'm waking up, I'm really giving the lesson!

    3.2
    Students study programming. The teacher says:
    - You're in the airplane. The plane will board half an hour. Suddenly
    somebody talk you: "You wrote the program, which drives the plane's
    on-board computer". What's your next step?
    Almost all students say: I'll try leave the plane as soon as possible. And
    only one student say: I'll do absolutely nothing. The teacher asks him:
    - Why?
    - Because the plane can't go anyway, if my program will drive it.

    3.3
    It's the Soviet Union. Two georgians passed the exam about history of communism.
    - Givi, how was your exam?
    - Greate. I didn't pass it!
    - Why are you so glad?
    - I'm glad, because Gogi had been arrested right there!

    3.4
    A student wrote the letter to home: "I feel depressed. I have nothing to
    eat. Send me something, please". His parents ask:
    - We can't send food to you, because it's spoiled in transit.
    - Send money! Money are not spoiled in transit!

    3.5
    It's an exam soon. The student is preparing for it.
    - What's you read?
    - The "Quantum physics" (or something like that).
    - Why are you holding it upside down?
    - What's different?

    3.6
    It's a classroom. The inscription on the desk: Time was killed here.

    3.7
    It's a prison. Two men are talking. One of them is a student.
    - Why are you here?
    - I missed a class.
    - You're kidding! Nobody moves you in the prison, when you miss a class.
    - Well... I stealed the TV in the same time.

  2. #2
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    Hello Astronomer, here are my suggested corrections and alternative or optional words:

    3.1
    A teacher went to the doctor. The teacher says:
    - Doctor, nightmares follow/haunt me/Doctor, I have nightmares.
    - What are your nightmares?
    - Well... I'm sleeping and I'm having a dream/and I'm dreaming. I'm giving/teaching a lesson and I can't say anything, because I forget the words. It's so depressing...
    - That's OK. You just work very hard. Relax, go home. Take it easy...
    - But Doc, my nightmare is not the same.
    - (The doc is wondering).
    - When I'm waking up/When I wake up, I'm really giving/teaching a lesson!

    3.2
    Students study programming. The teacher says:
    - You're in the airplane. The plane will board in half an hour. Suddenly somebody says to you: "You wrote the program, which drives/runs on the plane's on-board computer". What's your next step?
    Almost all students say: I'll try leave the plane as soon as possible. And only one student says: I'll do absolutely nothing. The teacher asks him:
    - Why?
    - Because the plane can't go/fly anywhere, if my program will drive/control it.

    3.3
    It's the Soviet Union. Two Georgians took the exam about the history of communism.
    - Givi, how was your exam?
    - Great. I didn't pass it!
    - Why are you so glad?
    - I'm glad, because Gogi was arrested right there!

    3.4
    A student wrote a letter to home: "I feel depressed. I have nothing to eat. Send me something, please".
    His parents reply:
    - We can't send food to you, because it will spoil in transit.
    The student wrote back:
    - Send money! Money does not spoil in transit!

    3.5
    There will be an exam soon. The student is preparing for it.
    - What's that you read/you are reading?
    - "Quantum Physics" (or something like that).
    - Why are you holding it upside down?
    - What's different?

    3.6
    It's a classroom. An inscription on the desk reads: Time was killed here.

    3.7
    It's a prison. Two men are talking. One of them is a student.
    - Why are you here?
    - I missed a class.
    - You're kidding! Nobody puts you in prison when you miss a class.
    - Well... I stole the TV at the same time.

  3. #3
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    Thanks a lot, Ken. It's very helpful, that you thought out two kinds of corrections: corrections itself and optional words.

  4. #4
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    Re: Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part I

    Quote Originally Posted by astronomer
    3.5
    It's an exam soon. The student is preparing for it.
    - What's you read?
    - The "Quantum physics" (or something like that).
    - Why are you holding it upside down?
    - What's different?
    Shouldn't the last question sound "What's the difference?"


    3.6
    It's a classroom. The inscription on the desk: Time was killed here.
    Maybe 'wasted' is better. The Russian idiom ("убивать время") means 'to waste time' (or can I also say 'to kill time' with the same effect)?

    - Well... I stole the TV at the same time.
    Shouldn't it be 'I was stealing the TV at that time'?
    Send me a PM if you need me.

  5. #5
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    Re: Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part I

    Quote Originally Posted by Ramil
    Quote Originally Posted by astronomer
    3.5
    It's an exam soon. The student is preparing for it.
    - What's you read?
    - The "Quantum physics" (or something like that).
    - Why are you holding it upside down?
    - What's different?
    Shouldn't the last question sound "What's the difference?"
    You're absolutely right, Ramil. It's my mistake - I make a slip. The last question should be "What's the difference" (Какая разница?).

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