Would you please correct me? Thanks.

A student didn't pass the exam yesterday. He's walking and see the theacher.
The student talks to him:
- Hello!
The teacher answers:
- I don't say "Hello" to stupids!
- But I SAY hello to stupids!

A student died and he moved into the hell. It's a beautiful life there:
prostitutes, wine, grugs. But in the evening the devil comes and puts a big
nail into the student's ass. The student has been lived in the hell for a week
and the devil talks him:
- I can move you into the student's hell! Wanna try?
- Sure!
Now the student's living in student's hell. His life is wonderful:
prostitutes and so on... And... Nobody comes in the evening with a hammer and
nails. The student has been living in that manner for about a four month.
Suddenly the devil comes to him with the BIG bag of nails and the huge
hummer. The student asks him:
- What is mean? Why do you have so many nails? What's up?
- It's finals... Right now...

A student's taking an exam. The teacher asks him:
- Have I seen you before? (or "I have seen you before, haven't I(?)" It
must be something like this "You're engaged. Aren't you?")
- Well.. Yes. I've been taking the exam last year. And I didn't pass it.
- Do you remember, what was my first question?
- I guess, you've been said: "Have I seen you before?".

A student's taking a Geography exam. His answer is bad. The teacher talks
to him:
- You have a big desert into your head!
- I agree with you... But in every desert exists the oasis, which can't
see only stupid camels.

A student's going in the bus. (He's in the bus, which's going). He's holding
the raincoat on hands. An old women talks him:
- You're so thin. Please, have a seat. You're probably an A-student, aren't you?
- No, thanks. I am not the A-student. The A-student is John (he' looking
on his raincoat).

Some people decided to find the most intelligent student in the US. They
establish the comission. It wanna see the student's behavior during he
walks into w.c.

The first student is from Harvard. He walks into the w.c. and goes out during the
same time. He washes hands, looks in mirror at himself, touches the tie.
The comission appreciate his behavior.

The second student is from provincial college. He walks into w.c., goes out
and he's going to the comission. They talk to him:
- Your behavior is bad! Why don't you wash your hands at least?
- Because we don't piss on our hands!

A student passed the exam. He's drunk today and he's sleeping into the room,
which is in the dorm.
The college director comes into the room and talks him:
- Wake up! I wanna talk with you!
The student opens his eye, says "What a bad dream!" and he's continuing to sleep.

It's a college. Two teacher are talking in the dining-hall.
- If I would give only one B during the finals, all first-year students
will happy.
- If I would give only one C during the finals, all second-year students
will be happy,
The college director have been heard their conversation and talks to
- If I would retire you, the entire college will be happy.