Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part II

  1. #1
    Почтенный гражданин
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    RUSSIA
    Posts
    166
    Rep Power
    9

    Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part II

    See part I also.

    3.8
    - How many Harvard's alumni need to replace the bolb?
    - Two. One of them is calling your father. Other is holding his cocktail.

    3.9
    Dear teachers! Military's future depends on you!

    3.10
    It's test time. Minute follows minute. Two students send notices to each
    other. Teacher noticed that. He says:
    - Why do you it? It's an exam!
    - Professor, we're just playing preference...
    - Ohhh... I am sorry!

    3.11
    A freshman will pass an exam today. He's waking up. He has only one thing
    in your mind: "It's an exam today". He go to the unversity. He comes in the
    classroom. He can't see any known face. He begins pass the exam.
    His questions are very hard. He asks you neighbours right, left, back. He
    know already what he have to answer. The teacher call he. The
    freshman talks something and the teacher says:
    - I will tick off the grade B. Are you agree?
    - Yes, of course!

    The teacher tick off a grade B and talk:
    - I see the first time, when a freshman passed the senior's exam!

    3.12
    It's test time. A student give the teacher his record-book. The student
    begins answer. The tacher are finding money in the record-book, but he can't find it.
    The student gets a E and goes out of the classroom.

    Next student begins answer. The teacher found $500 in his record-book. The
    student gets an A and he goes out. Other student comes in the classroom.
    The teacher also found $500 in his record-book. The teacher tick off an A and says:
    - I love it, when my students are really smart.

    3.13
    A student pass the exam. He put $600 in his record-book. The tecaher found
    money. The student says: $100 for each level (F - $100, ... A - $600). The
    student gets an E. The teacher returns $400 after the same time and
    says: It's the change.

    3.14
    Students pass the exam. It's very cold in the classroom. The teacher says:
    - Someone, bring me a cup of tea, please.
    One student goes out of the classroom and returns with the cup of VODKA.
    The teacher's trying it. He looks very glad after that. Nobody has get a
    grade below an B.

    Next day. It's the same classroom. Same story with a cup of vodka. But at
    this time nobody has get a grade above a D. Students are asking the
    teacher after an exam:
    - Why is that?
    - I don't like, when sombedy repeat something.

  2. #2
    Почтенный гражданин
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Spokane, Washington, USA
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    10
    Well Astronomer, I see nobody has corrected this text so far, so here are my suggested corrections, alternatives and moved text:

    3.8
    - How many Harvard alumni are needed to replace a light bulb?
    - Two. One of them is calling your father/the maintenance man. The other is holding his cocktail.

    3.9
    Dear teachers! The/Our military's future depends on you!

    3.10
    It's test time. Minute follows after minute/Minutes tick by. Two students send notes to each other. The teacher saw that. He says:
    - Why did you do it? It's an exam!
    - Professor, we're just playing preference/tic-tac-toe...
    - Ohhh... I am sorry!

    3.11
    A freshman will take an exam today. As he's waking up he has only one thing on his mind: "It's an exam today". He goes to the unversity. He comes in/He enters the classroom. He can't see any known face/He doesn't recognize anybody. He begins to take the exam. His/The questions are very hard. He asks his neighbours/neighbors (US) on the right, left, and in back. He knows already what he has to answer. The teacher calls on him. The
    freshman says something and the teacher says:
    - I will tick off/check off the grade B. Do you agree?
    - Yes, of course!

    The teacher ticks off/checks off the grade B and says:
    - I see for the first time, when/that a freshman passed/has passed the senior's exam!

    3.12
    It's test time. A student gives the teacher his record-book. The student begins his answer. The teacher is looking for money in the record-book, but he can't find it. The student gets a E and goes out of the classroom.

    The next student begins his answer. The teacher found $500 in his record-book. The student gets an A and he goes out.

    Another student comes in/into the classroom. The teacher also found $500 in his record-book. The teacher ticks off/checks off an A and says:
    - I love it, when my students are really smart.

    3.13
    A student takes the exam. He put $600 in his record-book. The tecaher finds money. The student says: $100 for each level (F - $100, ... A - $600). The student gets an E. The teacher returns $400 at the same time and says: It's the change.

    3.14
    Students take an exam. It's very cold in the classroom. The teacher says:
    - Someone, bring me a cup of tea, please.
    One student goes out of the classroom and returns with a cup of VODKA.
    The teacher's tries/drinks it. He looks very glad after that. Nobody got a grade below an B.

    The next day. It's the same classroom. It's the same story with a cup of vodka. But this time nobody has gotten/nobody got a grade above a D. Students ask/asked the teacher after the exam:
    - Why is that?/Why did you give such low grades?
    - I don't like it, when somebody repeats something.

  3. #3
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Local bar
    Posts
    1,477
    Rep Power
    10
    Edited. L.
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  4. #4
    Властелин
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Invalid City!
    Posts
    1,352
    Rep Power
    13
    Quote Originally Posted by charlestonian
    (Edited. L.)
    What a wonderful sentiment on a forum devoted to learning.

  5. #5
    Завсегдатай chaika's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Чапелхилловка, NC USA
    Posts
    1,987
    Rep Power
    16
    Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.

  6. #6
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    Quote Originally Posted by chaika
    Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.
    Where did you lose E?
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

  7. #7
    Почтенный гражданин
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    RUSSIA
    Posts
    166
    Rep Power
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by chaika
    Well, learn this: We don't have a grade of "E". What the heck is that? Grades are ABCDF, соответствующие русским 54321.
    OK. Просто из фразы

    In american schools A is the best grade, then B, etc.
    A grade of F means you must take the class again.

    я предположил, что весь ряд оценок выглядит как ABCDEF, что соответствует началу алфавита... А оказалось, что не так.

  8. #8
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Москва, Зеленоград.
    Posts
    2,040
    Rep Power
    11
    Англо-русский неприличный стишок для первого курса института.

    If you want to be здоров
    Go на луг to f u c k коров.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Завсегдатай
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    My Time & Space
    Posts
    6,559
    Rep Power
    16
    Woah! Thank you very much for hyperlinks!
    «И всё, что сейчас происходит внутре — тоже является частью вселенной».

Similar Threads

  1. Jokes. Issue 5. Rebranding
    By astronomer in forum Learn English - Грамматика, переводы, словарный запас
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: June 23rd, 2007, 12:50 AM
  2. Jokes. Issue 4. Part II
    By astronomer in forum Learn English - Грамматика, переводы, словарный запас
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: June 16th, 2007, 06:55 AM
  3. Jokes. Issue 4.
    By astronomer in forum Learn English - Грамматика, переводы, словарный запас
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: June 7th, 2007, 05:08 PM
  4. Russian jokes. Issue 3. Part I
    By astronomer in forum Learn English - Грамматика, переводы, словарный запас
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 29th, 2007, 12:49 PM
  5. Russian jokes. Issue 2
    By astronomer in forum Learn English - Грамматика, переводы, словарный запас
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: May 23rd, 2007, 11:37 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Russian Lessons                           

Russian Tests and Quizzes            

Russian Vocabulary