Thread: Please correct me.

I practise to translate texts. I translate Russian jokes into English. Check please grammar and creation of phrases.

После занятий по истории выяснилось, что в нашем классе не все одинаково относятся к Суворову. Так, Наталья Пуля его терпеть не может, а вот Серёга Штык его просто обожает.
After lesson of history it became clear that in our class not all equally belong to Suvorv. Example, Natalia Pulya (bullet) hates him, but Sergey Shtuk (bayonet) his simply adores.

- Скажи, как выступают российские пловцы в Лондоне?
- А ты знаешь, неплохо. Медалей, конечно, нет, но и не потонул никто!

- Say, how swim russian swimmers to London?
- And you know, not bad. Medals certainly aren't present but while nobody drowned!

In history class we learned that not everybody thinks the same about Suvorov. Natalia Bullet can't stand him, but Sergey Bayonet simply adores him.
JOKE FAIL.

Say, how are the Russian swimmers doing in London?
Oh, not bad. No medals, of course, but at least nobody's drowned!