Thread: Movie for kids - please check my translation :)

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

- Pure and simple... (a?) hooligan.

I suggested the article "a" because it does not sound right without an article.

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

- He'll ruin every plan we have, all work will go to seed.
(Ken Watts gave an alternative to the last line. It's closer to the original, but it's not rhymed. Any suggestions?)

I didn't know you wanted it to rhyme. What you have is OK if you insert "our" before "work". You ask for another rhyming alternative, so here is my thought: He'll ruin every plan we have, and destroy/undo every good teaching deed.

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

- They ..... periscopes, (как будет "поднимать перископы"? )

Maybe: They upped periscopes
See: http://books.google.com/books?id=Fkkizl ... ocPo&hl=en
Or: They kept their periscopes up
See: http://books.google.com/books?id=3sPGI0 ... ulBc&hl=en and http://www.amazon.com/review/R3F05XXFTYBP2O

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

Originally Posted by translations.nm.ru

Меня смущает это "almost on Gogol". Кот, это понятно для англоязычных?

Боюсь, что нет. Ничего, проехали!

У меня другой вопрос мирового значения: как песни переводить -стихами или прозой? Вроде стихами лучше, но дольше и ненадежней. Вот, я тут уже сваяла кусочек стишка... наверное, жуть страшная.

Стихами лучше, конечно, но не всегда реально. По-моему, ты хорошо переводишь в общем.

-04-

Я пригласил вас, друзья, чтобы сообщить вам пренеприятное известие: К НАМ ЕДЕТ ХУЛИГАН.
Как хулиган? Зачем хулиган? Какой хулиган?
Самый настоящий ... ХУЛИГАН.
Вот-те на! Вот не было заботы..
Да он же может нам разрушить план учебно-воспитательной работы.

- I have called you together, my friends, to tell you an unpleasant piece of news. A hooligan is coming.
- What do you mean, hooligan? Why a hooligan? What hooligan?
- Pure and simple... a hooligan.
- Well, how do you like that? It's the last thing we need.
- He'll ruin every plan we have, all our work will go to seed.


И главное - я будто чувствовал:
две вражеские лодки подводные
сегодня мне снились всю ночь.
Всплыли, перископы выставили,
A сами такие огромные, и тут же уплыли прочь.

What's more, I kinda sensed it:
two hostile submarines.
I dreamed about them all night long.
They surfaced, both were huge and grey...
They raised their* periscopes, [/color]
And then just sailed away.

*added for the sake of meter

"you bet! "........... natural in casual conversation, friends talking together, enthusiastic agreement.

"rather!."................ old-fashioned and middle -class enthusiastic agreement.

pick a nit sounds pretty hilarious because we say someone is nit picking as an adjective but it is very funny when used as a verb here, but it doesn't seem out of place in the context of a comedy.

looking about him over cautiously is a more ordinary alternative.

Re: suggestions on style

Originally Posted by Mandy

"you bet! "........... natural in casual conversation, friends talking together, enthusiastic agreement.

I agree, it's just that it didn't sound right to me in that dialogue as an answer to the given question. Try it. Ask the question and then say "you bet!" See, it doesn't sound right.

"rather!."................ old-fashioned and middle -class enthusiastic agreement.

I thought about that, too, that it sounds a bit old-fashioned. Maybe a little "toffee nosed". I guess I read too much P.G. Wodehouse.
It's just such a good translation of "еще бы", I couldn't say no.

pick a nit sounds pretty hilarious because we say someone is nit picking as an adjective but it is very funny when used as a verb here, but it doesn't seem out of place in the context of a comedy.

I liked it, too, and it fits the meaning of the Russian well. More the sense of being "officious" rather than careful.