Thread: Can somebody check this translation?

Can somebody check this translation?
Thanks in advance.

After Shrek saved the princess from the dragon, the princess asked
Shrek to remove his face shield so that she can see him.
Shrek removed his face shield. The princess showed a funny, sad, and
disappointed look on her face and said "You're an Ogre."

После Shrek спас принцессу от дракона, принцесса спросила
Shrek, чтобы удалить его щит лица так, чтобы она могла видеть его.
Shrek удалил его щит лица. Принцесса показала странное, грустное, и
разочарованное лицо и сказало "Вы огр".

As always, I'll try to make the minimal number of corrections and avoid rephrasing as much as possible. Certain things have to be rephrased or they sound way unnatural.

После того, как Шрек спас принцессу от дракона, принцесса попросила Шрека снять шлем, чтобы она могла посмотреть на его лицо. Шрек снял шлем. Лицо принцессы изменилось, стало грустным и
разочарованным, и она сказала "Вы огр".

"Щит лица" - это мощно!

Огр? А нельзя ли перевести "ogre" "людоедом"?

Thanks guys.
A couple more questions.

Why do you say "После того, как Шрек" instead of just "После Шрек"?
What does "того, как" mean?

What is the difference between "удалить" and "снять"?

What is the difference between "посмотреть" and "увидеть"?

"Щит лица" - is this what happens when you drink too much?

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Thanks guys.
A couple more questions.

Why do you say "После того, как Шрек" instead of just "После Шрек"?
What does "того, как" mean?

What is the difference between "удалить" and "снять"?

What is the difference between "посмотреть" and "увидеть"?

"Щит лица" - is this what happens when you drink too much?

Удалить раковую опухоль, удалить недостатки, удалить грязное пятно...
Снять шлем, снять ботинки, снять одежду. (правда можно ещё: снять фильм, снять квартиру, снять проблемы. )

посмотреть = увидеть, но иногда они различаются. Но "увидеть" говорят чаще про то, что видется впервые, хотя есть исключения. Например принято говорить "посмотреть кино", а не "увидеть кино". Или же говорят: "Наконец то я увидел Путина", а не "Я посмотрел Путина"
К этому надо привыкнуть, они разнятся в зависимости от контекста, и тут правила нет.

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Thanks guys.
A couple more questions.

Why do you say "После того, как Шрек" instead of just "После Шрек"?
What does "того, как" mean?

What is the difference between "удалить" and "снять"?

What is the difference between "посмотреть" and "увидеть"?

"Щит лица" - is this what happens when you drink too much?

"После того, как" works for a continuation of the sentence, while just "после" doesn't. "После" can be used here in the sense of "потом", which doesn't require this continuation.

"Удалить" doesn't include the meaning of "снять". And if it does in some other context, it sounds too formal.

"Посмотреть" is "to have a look", "увидеть" is "to see".

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Thanks guys.
A couple more questions.

Why do you say "После того, как Шрек" instead of just "После Шрек"?
What does "того, как" mean?

What is the difference between "удалить" and "снять"?

What is the difference between "посмотреть" and "увидеть"?

"Щит лица" - is this what happens when you drink too much?

I'll just give you my take on that, which may or may not be the same as the guys' opinion. You can compare and make your own conclusion.

"После того, как Шрек" bit. If you just say "После Шрек", it reads as "After that, Shrek did something". После того, как indicated that it was in the reference to what the princess did. The princess did something after Shrek saved whatever.

удалить means to remove as in to make disappear, not to take off.

The most difficult part is the difference between "посмотреть" and "увидеть". Technically, I think you could say "увидеть его лицо" in this example, it is not unacceptable. However, посмотреть implies an active approach, a purpose, you do something to see it. If you say увидеть, it sounds like it happened by chance, because you just happened to pass by. In the sentence there is a definite purpose: the princess wants Shrek to remove the shield in order for her to see his face.

""Щит лица" - is this what happens when you drink too much?" Not only that, but you also have to be totally wasted to say that . It does not sound natural at all.

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Огр? А нельзя ли перевести "ogre" "людоедом"?

Probably.

Originally Posted by adoc

If you just say "После Шрек", ...

Wouldn't you say "После ШрекА"?

I would... but после фильма Шрек

Originally Posted by Darobat

Originally Posted by adoc

If you just say "После Шрек", ...

Wouldn't you say "После ШрекА"?

No . После потопа may be. After the shrek, if "a shrek" was a disaster of some kind. Or a wedding.

So why would you use nominative in my case, but genetive in others? I thought после required genetive.

Originally Posted by Darobat

So why would you use nominative in my case, but genetive in others? I thought после required genetive.

Not if it means "afterwards".
"После Шрек снял свой шлем" = "Afterwards, Shrek removed his wuddjacallit."
Why would you use genetive here? Shrek is the subject of this sentence.

Ahhhh.. I get it now. Thanks.

Wow, what a coincidence! I just watched that film today.