Thread: Why I love (and hate) dating Russian men (article)

You got wrong my words about playing game. It is not about manipulation, dishonesty etc... It is about the volume of emotions.

Well... let me try to explain myself once more.

Is it because men are afraid to face their own feelings or admit they have feelings in the first place?

Something like that but I have different formulations. Unlike traditional viewpoint I came to the idea that male feelings are normally more delicate than female ones. Here is a parallel. There are two persons (XY and XX) living together. XY has a delicate ear while XX is almost deaf but enjoy some loud sound and pump up the volume of their sound center to maximum for 24h per day minus sleeping. XY tries to ask XX to low down the volume and make some pauses in overwhelming noise but XX does not hear not because XX is so bad but because XX is naturally almost deaf and unable to hear the low voice of XY. As a result the hearing of XY gets spoiled, XY turns goofy but still suffer and sometimes can even burst in violence if not learned to restrain oneself. Now replace the "sound" with "emotions" and you get what I mean. Sometimes we need to rest in quiet without enforced brutal emotions.

Well, that was way exaggerated but to make a picture...

Originally Posted by it-ogo

You got wrong my words about playing game. It is not about manipulation, dishonesty etc... It is about the volume of emotions.

Well... let me try to explain myself once more.



Something like that but I have different formulations. Unlike traditional viewpoint I came to the idea that male feelings are normally more delicate than female ones. Here is a parallel. There are two persons (XY and XX) living together. XY has a delicate ear while XX is almost deaf but enjoy some loud sound and pump up the volume of their sound center to maximum for 24h per day minus sleeping. XY tries to ask XX to low down the volume and make some pauses in overwhelming noise but XX does not hear not because XX is so bad but because XX is naturally almost deaf and unable to hear the low voice of XY. As a result the hearing of XY gets spoiled, XY turns goofy but still suffer and sometimes can even burst in violence if not learned to restrain oneself. Now replace the "sound" with "emotions" and you get what I mean. Sometimes we need to rest in quiet without enforced brutal emotions.

Well, that was way exaggerated but to make a picture...

I can see the point you are making, but I don't agree that all women are more emotional than men. I've met men who were much more reactionary and emotional than myself. Usually the dominant male emotion tends to be anger and the reaction can be sudden and completely unexpected, especially if you accidentally hurt their fragile egos. It doesn't matter to the man if you hurt them unintentionally or not, he is going to want revenge and he is going to intentionally hurt the hell out of you. Not all men, of course, but too many in my experience.

Originally Posted by Deborski

I can see the point you are making, but I don't agree that all women are more emotional than men. I've met men who were much more reactionary and emotional than myself. Usually the dominant male emotion tends to be anger and the reaction can be sudden and completely unexpected, especially if you accidentally hurt their fragile egos. It doesn't matter to the man if you hurt them unintentionally or not, he is going to want revenge and he is going to intentionally hurt the hell out of you. Not all men, of course, but too many in my experience.

Yep, but male strong emotions are short (and dangerous in extreme) and when they passed you are again friends (if survived both) while female ones are lasting (and exhausing in extreme). We are still different, no?

As for manipulations... Men often are happy to be manipulated. To some degree, in some situations. For example if he avoids to make a decision which concerns you both and avoids to discuss it, most probably it means that he will accept your decision and will be grateful to you if you make it in a form that does not hurt his ego. In the form of manipulation. And if you in your decision still account for his interests in favor of yours he may be even more grateful to you for a long term. Often men understand everything but don't want to discuss. Just like dogs.

Just like dogs.

and apes.

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Specifically in Russia, women historically favor pilots, doctors, cooks and crooks))

Originally Posted by it-ogo

Yep, but male strong emotions are short (and dangerous in extreme) and when they passed you are again friends (if survived both) while female ones are lasting (and exhausing in extreme). We are still different, no?

Oh I can't say I agree with that generalization at all. I've encountered men who hold very, very long grudges! That anger isn't always a short burst. It can last for years and take the form of nonstop revenge. You may think you are "friends" again, but in reality he's just waiting for the next opportunity to stick in the knife. Don't tell me that's not true because I have experienced it. On the contrary, women who fight with each other will often make up, talk for hours and lick each others' wounds so to speak, and then become close friends afterwards! I am still best buddies with a girl who I got into a fight with years ago. On the other hand, I have dealt with some very hateful males in the workplace and elsewhere, who never, never let go of their anger or hurt feelings and did their best to make my life miserable for YEARS.

Originally Posted by Deborski

Oh I can't say I agree with that generalization at all.

As I said already, I admit that individual differences are bigger than gender-based ones. Still there are tendencies.

Originally Posted by it-ogo

As I said already, I admit that individual differences are bigger than gender-based ones. Still there are tendencies.

Perhaps. But if we live our lives expecting everyone to conform to our generalized notions, we end up getting surprised and/or disappointed.

Originally Posted by Deborski

Perhaps. But if we live our lives expecting everyone to conform to our generalized notions, we end up getting surprised and/or disappointed.

We can't escape generalizations. Any word in any human language is a generalization. Only animals accept the world as it is.