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Thread: Please, read and tell about errors

  1. #1
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    Please, read and tell about errors

    Excuse, if for my part is impudence to load you such reading, but... if someone is interesting,please, read my English translation of a essay: " America and Russia ", preliminary attempt for my page.
    If you please, prompt, what basic errors at me? Or I follow Russian word order in sentences? Or I confuse adjectives and participles? I use not those pretexsts?
    Or all together is felt absence of alive dialogue? Then I shall know above direction of work.
    I SHALL BE VERY GRATEFUL.


    AMERICA and RUSSIA
    It is my modest attempt to understand two national characters-antipodes: American and Russian. I reflected for a long time about essence of our contradictions, and here that has come out from this.

    Language of the nation influences on characteristic features. If English (and in general all European languages) is based on Latin, Russian originates in a Sanskrit (India). Latin - it is Rome with his respect for the law, consciousness of value and rights of individuality, but base of Russian language connects with passivity of the East in a real life. This contemplate position actually is the special form of mental activity: observation and reflection about reality, attempt to comprehend it.

    The American ability to actively operate, skill to organize reasonably actions, persistence on achievement of the purpose, desire to dominate, and also aspiration to a victory (success - the important component of self-esteem in the West) - corresponds to psychology of the male. In man's character the pursuit and capture, conquest of the female (where wins the most vigorous and capable) - are incorporated by the nature. Masses of spermatozoon with the speed aspire to the unique and treasured purpose: ovule, because in it - energy of a life and the future.

    The female should be exacting, for her evolutionary task, she will accept only the corresponding partner, that is ideally supplementing her most . Energy of reason and will of the man, power of his individuality should be equal on quality of energy of feelings (which are energy of vital power) for contact becomes valuable and creative.

    Active behaviour demands intellectual concentration, and... the limited and controllable emotions, but emotions give the true direction, one intellect often loses a real estimation of events, because emotions move power of a life: the LOVE and HATRED are the main motives of human acts.

    And, I think, that the West has overtaken crisis for this reason. The male in his nature - collective; skill and habit to live in collective - imposes special requirements: the person should hide antipathy to colleagues, accept their personal features. To reserve the negative feelings for politeness - norm of a public life (differently we shall transform to herd). But here there is a limit which cannot be broken unpunishedly for moral health of a society: we imperceptibly get used... hypocrisy for surviving in collective, because the outsider - the loser, despised person.

    And gradually we have deformed natural laws of dialogue, contacts became superficial, and true feelings: or disappear, or habitually are not realized, emotions become poor and equivocal. The law of a survival dictates unnatural norms, and these are illnesses and destruction in human relations (though externally - benevolence).

    And here the West has approached to the critical point: the system of public relations cannot long stand on the base of laws which contradict psychological human nature. And belief, that success - the main and obligatory component of a public life, will dissipate today.

    Unfortunately, with Latin is inherited not only a legal society, but also negative features of Romans: the exaggerated consciousness of own greatness, a cult of power, material benefits and luxury.

    America - the young nation(comparitivly to Europe), her national culture only in the beginning of the way (though in a civilization she has overtaken all planet), and lack of ( for some centuries) cultural accumulation does not allow to estimate critically herself.. The high self-estimation gives the temporary superiority in force, but the law of the nature - the perfect balance and harmony, and true value of each nation : cultural, spiritual achievements (not only material) will be restored today.

    Russia - special country( and also young as nation), 70 year's isolation from the world - it is a maturing unique type of thinking; besides improbable sufferings and the humiliations, which fall on a destiny of Russian people, shaped surprising quality : PATIENCE. If America and the Europe - in the eternal protest against suppression of the person, Russia - in obedient standing (except for unusual cases: dangers of disappearance as the nations, such as invasion of Tatars, Napoleon, Hitler). If America and the Europe killed the presidents and cut heads to kings, Russia... esteemed the Tsars, adored governors, except for last communist party leaders (absolutely gone wrong)). Now our mentality again revives: Putin causes national love.

    Poverty and dependence have made us malicious, greedy up to riches of the West. The totalitarian system has destroyed the best representatives of the nation, fear before power of authority has transformed a part of us into unscrupulous people. Freedom which has come suddenly has given authority vigorous and unconscientious businessmen, the cultural person is humiliated and deprived of civil rights.

    But... it is temporary, the information epoch allows the educational people new possibility - to be united per dialogue in the Internet, only competent person can take possession foreign languages, find the common and reasonable language with any nation... Most of all it is necessary with America. The great country quickly will pass the evolutionary lessons, courageous and fair people will find a new way to development of the huge power.

    I trust, that this nation - mighty and true defender of weak people in the future, it is the "man-Savior". Moreover: he is the man-Teacher for Russia as representative of the female in the world because reverence of the man necessarily in partnership. The woman is not capable to operate reasonably, the nature has allocated with her other advantage - skill to feel deeply and truly , intuitively to understand events, their weight and development in time. And if the woman has huge experience of suffering, her knowledge become WISDOM, that is ability to choose the best decisions in any situation.

    Russian language possesses a unique variety of prefixes, suffixes, roots and significants of words, by means of which, is possible to express riches of emotions, their fine shades: from sentimentality to tenderness, from cool sympathy to passionate hatred, but the same riches have made us unable to the control of emotions, now it helps to chaos (I tell about mass of us).

    And it is better for us to learn at America, her skill of organization and goodwill, ability to work and produce( fairly recognizing our national lacks). And to find the best representatives of other nations , to communicate on the base of mutual respect (though sincerely disagreing with a cult of power and spirit of the consumption,that reigning today).

    There are important distinctions too, which determine ours characters: in man's knowledge of the world, the visual information dominates, and in female - the sound is more significant. Various shows and Hollywood as peak of staginess - have reached the highest level of development.

    And Russia was always rich by moral word, the mighty and deep literature, Russian language differs unusual riches for this reason. And we should not to try imitate America, self nature gives her the superiority in power and external magnificence, but... a clever word, wise and deep thoughts, original ideas - our province of greatness.

  2. #2
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    Re: Please, read and tell about errors

    I can give you some corrections in red. I think a native Russian speaker would be better to explain grammar problems. Your most frequent problem is with articles. In cases where you used an article but there should not be an article, I wrote (no article). I only had time for the first five paragraphs.

    Good luck in your English studies.

    Quote Originally Posted by disciple
    Excuse me, if it is rude for me to load you such reading, but... if someone is interested ,please, read my English translation of the essay: " America and Russia ", preliminary attempt for my page.
    Please tell me what the basic errors are? Or I follow Russian word order in sentences? Or I confuse adjectives and participles? I use not those pretexsts?
    Or all together is felt absence of alive dialogue? Then I shall know above direction of work.
    I SHALL BE VERY GRATEFUL.


    AMERICA and RUSSIA
    This is my modest attempt to understand two very different national characters: American and Russian. I have reflected for a long time about the essence of our contradictions, and here is what has come out of this.

    The language of a nation influences its characteristic features. If English (and in general all European languages) is based on Latin, Russian originates in a Sanskrit (India). Latin - it is Roman in its respect for (no article) law, consciousness of value and rights of individuality, but the base of the Russian language connects with the passivity of the East in (no article) real life. This contemplative position actually is a special form of mental activity: observation and reflection about reality; attempting to comprehend it.

    The American ability to actively operate, the skill to organize reasonable actions, the persistence in achieving goals, the desire to dominate, and also the aspiration to (no article) victory (success - the important component of self-esteem in the West) - corresponds to the psychology of the male. In man's character the pursuit, capture, and conquest of the female (where the most vigorous and capable wins) - are incorporated by (no article) nature. Masses of spermatozoon with (no article) speed aspire to their unique and treasured purpose: ovule, because in it is the energy of a life and the future.

    The female must be precise in her evolutionary task. She can only accept the corresponding partner who best supplements her("who" because it is a person). The energy of reason and will of the man and the power of his individuality should be equal to the quality of energy of his feelings (which are the energy of vital power) for contact to become valuable and creative.

    Active behaviour demands intellectual concentration, and (no article) limited and controllable emotions. On the other hand, emotions give (no article) true direction. The mind often misinterprets events, because emotions are the motivating force in life: (no article) LOVE and HATRED are the main motives of human acts.

    And, I think, that the West has overtaken crisis for this reason. The male in his nature - collective; skill and habit to live in collective - imposes special requirements: the person should hide antipathy to colleagues, accept their personal features. To reserve the negative feelings for politeness - norm of a public life (differently we shall transform to herd). But here there is a limit which cannot be broken unpunishedly for moral health of a society: we imperceptibly get used... hypocrisy for surviving in collective, because the outsider - the loser, despised person.

    And gradually we have deformed natural laws of dialogue, contacts became superficial, and true feelings: or disappear, or habitually are not realized, emotions become poor and equivocal. The law of a survival dictates unnatural norms, and these are illnesses and destruction in human relations (though externally - benevolence).

    And here the West has approached to the critical point: the system of public relations cannot long stand on the base of laws which contradict psychological human nature. And belief, that success - the main and obligatory component of a public life, will dissipate today.

    Unfortunately, with Latin is inherited not only a legal society, but also negative features of Romans: the exaggerated consciousness of own greatness, a cult of power, material benefits and luxury.

    America - the young nation(comparitivly to Europe), her national culture only in the beginning of the way (though in a civilization she has overtaken all planet), and lack of ( for some centuries) cultural accumulation does not allow to estimate critically herself.. The high self-estimation gives the temporary superiority in force, but the law of the nature - the perfect balance and harmony, and true value of each nation : cultural, spiritual achievements (not only material) will be restored today.

    Russia - special country( and also young as nation), 70 year's isolation from the world - it is a maturing unique type of thinking; besides improbable sufferings and the humiliations, which fall on a destiny of Russian people, shaped surprising quality : PATIENCE. If America and the Europe - in the eternal protest against suppression of the person, Russia - in obedient standing (except for unusual cases: dangers of disappearance as the nations, such as invasion of Tatars, Napoleon, Hitler). If America and the Europe killed the presidents and cut heads to kings, Russia... esteemed the Tsars, adored governors, except for last communist party leaders (absolutely gone wrong)). Now our mentality again revives: Putin causes national love.

    Poverty and dependence have made us malicious, greedy up to riches of the West. The totalitarian system has destroyed the best representatives of the nation, fear before power of authority has transformed a part of us into unscrupulous people. Freedom which has come suddenly has given authority vigorous and unconscientious businessmen, the cultural person is humiliated and deprived of civil rights.

    But... it is temporary, the information epoch allows the educational people new possibility - to be united per dialogue in the Internet, only competent person can take possession foreign languages, find the common and reasonable language with any nation... Most of all it is necessary with America. The great country quickly will pass the evolutionary lessons, courageous and fair people will find a new way to development of the huge power.

    I trust, that this nation - mighty and true defender of weak people in the future, it is the "man-Savior". Moreover: he is the man-Teacher for Russia as representative of the female in the world because reverence of the man necessarily in partnership. The woman is not capable to operate reasonably, the nature has allocated with her other advantage - skill to feel deeply and truly , intuitively to understand events, their weight and development in time. And if the woman has huge experience of suffering, her knowledge become WISDOM, that is ability to choose the best decisions in any situation.

    Russian language possesses a unique variety of prefixes, suffixes, roots and significants of words, by means of which, is possible to express riches of emotions, their fine shades: from sentimentality to tenderness, from cool sympathy to passionate hatred, but the same riches have made us unable to the control of emotions, now it helps to chaos (I tell about mass of us).

    And it is better for us to learn at America, her skill of organization and goodwill, ability to work and produce( fairly recognizing our national lacks). And to find the best representatives of other nations , to communicate on the base of mutual respect (though sincerely disagreing with a cult of power and spirit of the consumption,that reigning today).

    There are important distinctions too, which determine ours characters: in man's knowledge of the world, the visual information dominates, and in female - the sound is more significant. Various shows and Hollywood as peak of staginess - have reached the highest level of development.

    And Russia was always rich by moral word, the mighty and deep literature, Russian language differs unusual riches for this reason. And we should not to try imitate America, self nature gives her the superiority in power and external magnificence, but... a clever word, wise and deep thoughts, original ideas - our province of greatness.

  3. #3
    Завсегдатай chaika's Avatar
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    Re: Please, read and tell about errors

    Excuse me, if it is rude for me to load you such reading,
    Несмотря на исправления paulb-a, никто не выразился так.

    but... if anyone is interested ,please_ read my English translation of the essay_ " America and Russia ",

    preliminary attempt for my page.
    совсем непонятно, что вы хотите сказать.

    Please tell me what the basic errors are? Or am I using Russian word order in sentences? Or do I confuse adjectives and participles?

    I use not those pretexsts?
    совсем непонятно, что вы хотите сказать.

    Or all together is felt absence of alive dialogue?
    Or is a sense of live dialog altogether missing?

    Then I shall know above direction of work.
    Then I will know how to approach my work.
    или что-то в этом роде. Не понимаю.

    А некоторые главные «факты» действительно не верны. Например --
    Code:
    English (and in general all European languages) is based on Latin, Russian originates in a Sanskrit (India).
    Английский и русский языки происходят от того же языка, принято называть его Indo-European. Английский стоит на германской ветви, а русский на славянской. Санскрит это еще другой язык а не праязыка русского! Он-то тоже в группе индоевропейских языков (поэтому точно ИНДОевропейский). Славянские языки и санскрит похоже тем, что оба групированы в так называемой группе сатем-языков (Satemsprache), то есть слово обозначающее концепцию 100 начинают с согласным /s/, а немецкий, английский, латинский принадлежат т.н. кентум-языкам, в начале слова 100 есть разновидность фонемы /k/ или х или к (Kentumsprache).

  4. #4
    Завсегдатай sperk's Avatar
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    Re: Please, read and tell about errors

    You'd be better off presenting the original Russian then maybe some motivated soul(s) would help translate it into English. The version you have here is too much of a mess to figure out.
    Кому - нары, кому - Канары.

  5. #5
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    Re: Please, read and tell about errors

    Согласен со Сперком. Я думаю, тут лучше всего подойдёт следующая стратегия: постишь пару абзацев русского текста со своей версией перевода. Когда текст небольшой, обычно легче найти желающих помочь . Когда перевод первого кусочка исправлен и вылизан, можно постить следующий. Разумеется, в таком случае на весь текст уйдёт довольно много времени, но зато и качество будет выше.

  6. #6
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    Re: Please, read and tell about errors

    Спасибо большое за труд. Я не надеялась на такое подробное объяснение. Наоборот - просила только о главных и повторяющихся ошибках.
    Я уловила логику моих ошибок и буду работать, но я нашла ещё путь для исправления английского: читаю интереснейшую книгу на сайте о гениальности (Kevin Solway - австралиец,опубликовал перевод с немецкого на английский : "Пол и характер" Отто Вайнингера, австрийского философа и очень проницательного человека ), грамматика автоматически откладывается, и запас слов тоже.
    Thank you once more. You are too kind to disciple, I'll pay by my helpness some day. If somebody need to translate on Russian, I 'll make it with pleasure, even large text. Russian I know more, more good. Write me by e-mail, and I'll translate .
    And book that I read for self-education is "Sex and Character" by Otto Weininger : about psychological types of woman and man(as female and male), about difference between a genius and talent, their unique memory and etc., site "The Thinking Man's Minefield" . All the best.

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