STOP PRESS!!!

Massive anti-Russian conspiracy reveals itself in North West England!:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/footbal ... 258681.stm

In a shocking and flagrant attempt to damage Russia's international image around the world, Chelsea football club, owned by famous Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich, were denied their natural right to three Premiership points by a Liverpool team manned by a motley crew of players sourced from a variety of western, notoriously liberal Anti-Russian nations.

"There is no other explanation for it", said Mr Abramovich, "we can clearly see the hand of Boris Berezovsky at work here, presumably in colusion with British MI6. The British, as agents of the Unites States, naturally, have failed to impose their value system upon us, so they are attempting to humiliate us on the football field instead. By beating Chelsea they beat me, and by beating me they beat their real target, Vladimir Putin. How else do explain what happened here today?"

The Kremlin press office declined to comment on the matter, though it is believed they will respond by throwing their toys out of the pram as usual.

Source: [Reuters]