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Thread: Help translating a poem for art project.

  1. #1
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    Help translating a poem for art project.

    Hello, I'm new at Master Russian.

    I'm starting an art project based on a Harlem Renaissance theme, meaning I have to do a project based on my life.

    I'm fascinated by Russia and everything Russian and have been from an early stage. I decided to translate the poem the piece will be based upon, but I do not know how to translate it because I'm very young in my Russian learning level, knowing only common phrases and am now working on structure, compared to vocabulary and such. If the grammar structure was less complicated, I'm pretty sure I could do it.

    I do not need pronunciation, nor in the Latin alphabet. Cyrillic is just fine for me . If someone could help translate it for me, it would be oh so appreciated. The poem is:

    When my bangs were
    still cut
    straight across my forehead,
    I met
    a painfully plain boy
    named John

    He lacked the responsibility
    of the careful holding
    of hearts.
    He tossed it and
    he squeezed it
    then threw it to,
    to the curb.

    He spent his time
    with his wandering eyes
    and placed all his

    importance
    on punctuation.

    He calculated his actions
    with the complete
    positivity of a fool
    making empty plans.

    His words had the power
    to make me swoon,
    but then I quickly realized
    that they were all hollow;
    they were all just syllables
    tied together to kill sometime.

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    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Какая разница, умереть богатым или бедным?

    Какой толк от богатства если ты не счастлив.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Kwatts, you can do better than that

    Я встретила очень простого мальчика, которого зовут Джон
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

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    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.

  5. #5
    Завсегдатай kalinka_vinnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Russkaya
    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.
    You know, I hearty attempt at it yourself would increase the chance that someone will look over your work for you...
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

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    Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

    Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.

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    Завсегдатай kalinka_vinnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by basurero
    Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

    Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.
    Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  8. #8
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    Ну, вот моя попытка
    He lacked the responsibility of the careful holding of hearts.
    У него отсутствовала ответственность для того, чтобы осторожно держать сердца в руках.

    Это, скорее всего, не звучит.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Quote Originally Posted by basurero
    Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

    Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.
    Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...
    Да, ты прав вроде

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    Quote Originally Posted by basurero
    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Quote Originally Posted by basurero
    Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

    Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.
    Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...
    Да, ты прав, вроде

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Quote Originally Posted by Russkaya
    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.
    You know, I hearty attempt at it yourself would increase the chance that someone will look over your work for you...
    If I did, the title of the thread would need to be changed; "Silly American Girl Tries to Speak Russian - Admission - $5" :P

  12. #12
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    So, basically, you're asking us to do your schoolwork for you.
    Corrupting young minds since May 6, 2004.

  13. #13
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    It's for an art project, not a Russian assignment, so I wouldn't say she is doing that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackMage
    So, basically, you're asking us to do your schoolwork for you.
    No, I just wanted some advice. I love this site... the links and resources are great. I really am sorry if I came off that way. I didn't mean to offend anyone...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Russkaya
    No, I just wanted some advice. I love this site... the links and resources are great. I really am sorry if I came off that way. I didn't mean to offend anyone...
    Regardless, only the elite professional translators can reasonably translate poetry. Even then the meaning changes.
    Corrupting young minds since May 6, 2004.

  16. #16
    ST
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    basurero-а как по английски сказать-"зазеркалье"?
    The bear looked at the car, and reflections of fire danced in his eyes. He knew what to do.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Here is my two cents.

    I met a very simple boy named John.
    Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

    I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.
    Kwatts, you can do better than that

    Я встретила очень простого мальчика, которого зовут Джон
    Darn. Masculine animate direct objects use genetive case. I should have known that.
    Какая разница, умереть богатым или бедным?

    Какой толк от богатства если ты не счастлив.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
    Darn. Masculine animate direct objects use genetive case. I should have know that.
    You should have known that too.
    Corrupting young minds since May 6, 2004.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ST
    basurero-а как по английски сказать-"зазеркалье"?
    Perhaps "wonderland" or "fantasy land"

    Алиса в Зазеркалье = Alice in Wonderland

  20. #20
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    In my head I always translated your location as "through the looking-glass." 'Behind the mirror' applied to my basic knowledge of folk-tales and whatnot -> Through the Looking-Glass

    "Through the Looking-Glass" is the original name of Alice in Wonderland.
    Corrupting young minds since May 6, 2004.

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