Thread: Help translating a poem for art project.

Hello, I'm new at Master Russian.

I'm starting an art project based on a Harlem Renaissance theme, meaning I have to do a project based on my life.

I'm fascinated by Russia and everything Russian and have been from an early stage. I decided to translate the poem the piece will be based upon, but I do not know how to translate it because I'm very young in my Russian learning level, knowing only common phrases and am now working on structure, compared to vocabulary and such. If the grammar structure was less complicated, I'm pretty sure I could do it.

I do not need pronunciation, nor in the Latin alphabet. Cyrillic is just fine for me . If someone could help translate it for me, it would be oh so appreciated. The poem is:

When my bangs were
still cut
straight across my forehead,
I met
a painfully plain boy
named John

He lacked the responsibility
of the careful holding
of hearts.
He tossed it and
he squeezed it
then threw it to,
to the curb.

He spent his time
with his wandering eyes
and placed all his

importance
on punctuation.

He calculated his actions
with the complete
positivity of a fool
making empty plans.

His words had the power
to make me swoon,
but then I quickly realized
that they were all hollow;
they were all just syllables
tied together to kill sometime.

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Kwatts, you can do better than that

Я встретила очень простого мальчика, которого зовут Джон

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.

Originally Posted by Russkaya

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.

You know, I hearty attempt at it yourself would increase the chance that someone will look over your work for you...

Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.

Originally Posted by basurero

Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.

Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...

Ну, вот моя попытка
He lacked the responsibility of the careful holding of hearts.
У него отсутствовала ответственность для того, чтобы осторожно держать сердца в руках.

Это, скорее всего, не звучит.

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Originally Posted by basurero

Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.

Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...

Да, ты прав вроде

Originally Posted by basurero

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Originally Posted by basurero

Я думаю, что лучше следующим образом, но я не уверен в этом.

Я встретилась с очень простым мальчиком, которого зовут Джон.

Well, then it is more like: I met with a simple boy named John... I think it is better without the reflexive verb...

Да, ты прав, вроде

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Originally Posted by Russkaya

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Thanks anyway. I know, it's hard... I figured I'd leave it to the masters.

You know, I hearty attempt at it yourself would increase the chance that someone will look over your work for you...

If I did, the title of the thread would need to be changed; "Silly American Girl Tries to Speak Russian - Admission - $5" :P

So, basically, you're asking us to do your schoolwork for you.

It's for an art project, not a Russian assignment, so I wouldn't say she is doing that.

Originally Posted by BlackMage

So, basically, you're asking us to do your schoolwork for you.

No, I just wanted some advice. I love this site... the links and resources are great. I really am sorry if I came off that way. I didn't mean to offend anyone...

Originally Posted by Russkaya

No, I just wanted some advice. I love this site... the links and resources are great. I really am sorry if I came off that way. I didn't mean to offend anyone...

Regardless, only the elite professional translators can reasonably translate poetry. Even then the meaning changes.

basurero-а как по английски сказать-"зазеркалье"?

Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Here is my two cents.

I met a very simple boy named John.
Я встретилась очень простой мальчик называются Джон

I would give a try at translating this but it is beyond my capabilities.

Kwatts, you can do better than that

Я встретила очень простого мальчика, которого зовут Джон

Darn. Masculine animate direct objects use genetive case. I should have known that.

Originally Posted by kwatts59

Darn. Masculine animate direct objects use genetive case. I should have know that.

You should have known that too.

Originally Posted by ST

basurero-а как по английски сказать-"зазеркалье"?

Perhaps "wonderland" or "fantasy land"

Алиса в Зазеркалье = Alice in Wonderland

In my head I always translated your location as "through the looking-glass." 'Behind the mirror' applied to my basic knowledge of folk-tales and whatnot -> Through the Looking-Glass

"Through the Looking-Glass" is the original name of Alice in Wonderland.