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Thread: Please check the text in English.

  1. #1
    Увлечённый спикер maxitron's Avatar
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    Question Please check the text in English.

    This is my first work of this kind, I know what I made a lot of grammar mistakes. Please correct my errors.

    Today not impossible to imagine our life without TV. But what a people think about it.
    Some think what TV has had only a negative effect for us. On the other hand, many people saw the advantages of TV, and they tell what life without Tv not impossible in our days. Let us begin by considering the facts.

    Positive aspect.
    In nowdays TV is widely used in the World, because it is the quickest means of new and information for us. Also this give us oppotunities to see the best actors and performances, to hear music, watch intrested science programm. TV gives wonderful possibilities for education. I every time when I come a home, I may relaxed after a day's work, discover for me something new. I think every may choose a programm, which more suitable for him.

    Negative aspect.
    Some think what TV not usefull for humanity, and they speaking what TV bring in ours world more cruelty and violence. What is more TV distraction people from communicating with each other, especially with respect to our children. And we cannot ignore the fact that children like more watch TV, then to be with your friends. They spend more time watching movies, then doing homework. One argument in support of said, I can tell what my children have a strong dependence on the TV.

    To draw the conclusion, I can say that although TV has both positive and negative side, for more people TV bring a lot advantages. And when our family together looks TV, this give my warm feeling, and strengthens the family.

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    Завсегдатай rockzmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxitron View Post
    This is my first work of this kind, I know what I made a lot of grammar mistakes. Please correct my errors.

    Today not it is impossible to imagine our life lives without TV; but, what a do people think about it?
    Some think what TV has had only a negative effect for on us. On the other hand, many people saw have seen the advantages of TV, and they tell what of a life without TV as not impossible in our days any longer. Let us begin by considering the facts.

    Positive aspect.
    In Nowadays TV is widely used in the world because it is the quickest means of new and information for us. Also, this it give us opportunities to see the best actors and performances, to hear music, and watch intrested interesting science programms. TV gives wonderful possibilities for education as well. I Every time when I come a home, I may get to relaxed after a day's work and discover for me something new. I think Everyone may choose a programm which is more suitable (most interests them) for him them.

    Negative aspect.
    Some think what that TV not usefull for humanity, and they are speaking about what TV brings into ours world; more cruelty and violence. What is more Additionally, TV is a distraction for people from communicating with each other, especially with respect to our children. And we cannot ignore the fact that children like more watching TV more than to be with your their friends. They spend more time watching movies than doing homework. One argument in support of said, tell what I can certain vouch for this by stating that my children have a strong dependency on the TV.

    To draw the In conclusion, I can say that although TV has both positive and negative side qualities, for more people TV brings a lot of advantages. And When our family gathers together looks to watch TV, this gives my me a warm feeling, and strengthens the family.
    Hi maxitron, and Welcome to MR!

    I just went over this quickly and only once, so forgive me if I didn't catch all the errors or I have some typos of my own.

    Please note that I am American and corrected it as such; however, I did leave the spelling of words I do know are correct just with a British spelling, like "programm."

    I am wondering though, when you are given these assignments, are you requested or instructed to give your own point of view? As in the last sentences of each paragraph you have the "I, blah, blah, blah" or did you put that in on your own? Here in the States a number of professors would frown on having a personalized essay or statements in the essay. You could rewrite these sentences to have the same feeling without the I... like:
    "Many families enjoy gathering together to watch programs at night as it gives them time to be together and helps them to bond and strengthen as a family."
    I only speak two languages, English and bad English.
    Check out the MasterRussian Music Playlist
    Click here for list of Russian films with English subtitles and links to watch them.

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    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    Today not impossible to imagine our life without TV. But what a people think about it.
    Some think what TV has had only a negative effect for us. On the other hand, many people saw the advantages of TV, and they tell what life without Tv not impossible in our days. Let us begin by considering the facts.

    => I have done something with the first part. Does the following contain what you are trying to say?

    Today it is almost impossible to imagine life without TV. But what kind of opinions do people have about it? Some think that TV has had only negative effects on us. On the other hand, many people have seen advantages of TV, and they might say that life without TV is almost impossible these days. Let us begin by considering some facts.
    ...

  4. #4
    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    Positive aspect.
    Nowdays TV is widely used in the world, because it is such a rapid means of communicating news and information. This also gives us opportunities to see the best actors and performances, to hear music and watch interesting science programmes. TV gives wonderful possibilities for education. When I come home after work, I can relax and discover something new on TV. Everyone can choose a programme that most suits themselves.

    Negative aspect.
    Some think that TV is not useful for humanity, and they say that TV brings to our world more cruelty and violence. Moreover, TV distracts people from communicating with each other, especially with respect to children. And we cannot ignore the fact that children prefer to watch TV, more than being with their friends. They spend more time watching movies, than doing homework. One point in support of this is that I can tell you my children have a strong dependence on the TV.

    In conclusion, I would say that although TV has both positive and negative aspects, for more people TV is advantageous. And when our family watches TV together, I get a warm comfortable feeling, and sense that my family is strengthened by it.
    ...

  5. #5
    Подающий надежды оратор IamMarat's Avatar
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    Hey maxitron =) Welcome aboard as we say here!
    I bet you wrote this essay for an oncoming exam, didn't you?

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    Увлечённый спикер maxitron's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your answers.
    Yes, it's preparation for the IELTS exam.
    I had to write essay and to bring own examples.
    For me, it's hard, I then only Russian at school wrote , and then not very well.
    Once again thank you all, I will rewrite your text.

  7. #7
    Завсегдатай rockzmom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxitron View Post
    Thank you all for your answers.
    Yes, it's preparation for the IELTS exam.
    I had to write an essay and to bring in my own examples.
    For me, it's hard as when I wrote it I then only was only able to write in Russian at school wrote , and then not very well.
    Once again, thank you all and I will rewrite your text.
    just a few corrections
    I only speak two languages, English and bad English.
    Check out the MasterRussian Music Playlist
    Click here for list of Russian films with English subtitles and links to watch them.

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    Увлечённый спикер maxitron's Avatar
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    The teacher will give my mark 2
    Thanks

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