A more elaborate explanation why I didn't use your suggestions:
Gonna use itappeared somehow here in Belarus Soviet Union, in 1941.
Gonna remove the 'immediate' and leave only "the pain".and the immediate pain told him he wasn’t.
The pain is because he knows the source of the pain.
I know that you know. It's Basics.
I'm definitely overusing the word 'immediate(ly)' -- trying to struggle with it.
No way. It'll be miles. Peter is American and she just tried not to puzzle him with calculations.village at moment and it’s about 70 miles over 100 km to Minsk
Yup but I don't think someone would lend him one. They'd find a thousand excuses instead.hey have horses at least.
already explainedthe border frontline is in a stone’s throw
He doesn't. Explained. I don't believe in the overall knowledge. Sorry, but it's just that.keep in mind that Peter KNOWS what would happen.
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe particularly true. Many people had connections with polish relatives, friends etc, and when the german troops were accumulating on the Polish territory, I'm sorry but I don't believe there weren't rumors about it.Considering the pre-war propaganda the oncoming war should have been swift and take place on enemy's territory.
Maybe. I'll think about it.‘What about you?’ Peter asked, ‘Look at those bombers, the Germans will be here within a week! You HAVE to leave immediately!’
Ok, I'll try to stick with it wherever possible.Always keep in mind that Peter knows what would soon happen. At least in general terms.
Peter used this word. Word used correctly. Why should she change it?I will not evacuate leave at all I'm not going to leave
Someone smart would know that or at least could guess. I pretend that she was smart Just my choice.In the first days of the war there was total chaos
is the selected piece really necessary? Why? If someone else seconds your point I'll correct it right away.in this weak little woman who was going to fight till the end
'the' is an exaggeration here. I think it's ok. If someone else tells me it reads bad, same story.while he, the a strong man
1. who was supposed...strong man the defender who supposed to be defending them
2. the defender is another exaggeration
3. the "if someone else-thing".
Not sure it's better.‘Foreigners, heh! And just who the hell then I am?’ he thought,
I thought God could be referred either way, with or without the article. As a proper noun, like a name, or just like a noun. Like a job position.‘Why the God or whoever played this mean joke
Great. Gonna use it. This 'immediately' again.Should I immediately run away now or should I stay
Well, maybe. I'm not sure yet. Probably I'll use it as well.or should I stay and (try to) help these people?
Yeah, right. I'm trying to make a point about him deciding if he wants to continue on the attempts to leave or not. Not to really "leave".Where would he run? Back into the woods? No transport - you said this yourself.
Not sure.and prove something as atonement in redemption for (to redeem) my old life?
These were -- I intentionally omitted them. "If someone else....you know"These were questions without answers. Peter virtually heard the sarcastic voice in his head:
the voice -- whose voice? He doesn't know that. He doesn't know the owner of the voice. Why 'the' then?
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Sorta like that.