Thread: Why I love (and hate) dating Russian men (article)

Originally Posted by Deborski

So I asked him, "What if your girlfriend IS your buddy?"

A buddy girlfriend is a chimeric dream of most men. Basically you can tell your buddy whatever BS you like and still be h(is) best friend, because ()he accepts you as you are, that is what buddies are for. It is hardly the case with women in my experience.

Originally Posted by it-ogo

A buddy girlfriend is a chimeric dream of most men. Basically you can tell your buddy whatever BS you like and still be h(is) best friend, because ()he accepts you as you are, that is what buddies are for. It is hardly the case with women in my experience.

My husband can tell me anything he wants and vice versa. We are definitely buddies and I've had other male (non sexual) buddies, so yeah, it is very much possible! But I guess a lot of guys think women are not really human, but some sort of "other" creature which can't be trusted. Sad for therm.

Originally Posted by Deborski

My husband can tell me anything he wants and vice versa. We are definitely buddies and I've had other male (non sexual) buddies, so yeah, it is very much possible! But I guess a lot of guys think women are not really human, but some sort of "other" creature which can't be trusted. Sad for therm.

ORLY? Didn't you remember any situation when you felt pain (at least a little) because of his words and actions until he made special efforts to earn your forgiveness? (Just don't ask him - he knows what he have to answer.) Women like such kind of game and play it automatically, while for men it is often frustrating. But then a man is trained by the society to handle such situations. It is his duty. Most women enjoy emotions in a volume that frustrates most men. We are one species of sentinent creatures but we are different in something. And it is good because it is natural. Normally a man can feel happy with a woman and feel free with another men.

Yes, of course there are exceptions. Yes, individual differences can be bigger than gender-based. Yes, a woman can handle her emotions and talkativeness as a favor or being scared by male rage. But then it makes HER feel not free. There are exceptions and there are norms. And opposing natural norms because of ideological/idealistic reasons mostly can only make people unhappy.

That is my view and my experience.

Originally Posted by it-ogo

ORLY? Didn't you remember any situation when you felt pain (at least a little) because of his words and actions until he made special efforts to earn your forgiveness? (Just don't ask him - he knows what he have to answer.) Women like such kind of game and play it automatically, while for men it is often frustrating. But then a man is trained by the society to handle such situations. It is his duty. Most women enjoy emotions in a volume that frustrates most men. We are one species of sentinent creatures but we are different in something. And it is good because it is natural. Normally a man can feel happy with a woman and feel free with another men.

Yes, of course there are exceptions. Yes, individual differences can be bigger than gender-based. Yes, a woman can handle her emotions and talkativeness as a favor or being scared by male rage. But then it makes HER feel not free. There are exceptions and there are norms. And opposing natural norms because of ideological/idealistic reasons mostly can only make people unhappy.

That is my view and my experience.

Of course there is pain. There is pain in every relationship. We argue, we fight, sometimes we scream at each other. But we are still best friends and after the fireworks end we make up again. That's the thing about relationships - too many people expect that it has to be peaceful all the time and that there should never be disagreements or arguments or hurt feelings. But in reality, it's impossible to have a relationship without those things! I do not trust or believe couples who say they never fight. I think they are either lying, or someone is so oppressed (usually the woman, though not always) that they are just going along with the other partner and never disagreeing.

Even best buddies (men) argue and fight sometimes, so why should they expect this not to occur with women? As for emotions, yeah, I realize they are "scary" for some men, but why is that? Is it because men are afraid to face their own feelings or admit they have feelings in the first place? My husband has a very hard time sharing his emotions but he is very accepting of mine, even though he doesn't always understand.

As for game playing... lol... I was never any good at it. I know some women are skilled at this passive/aggressive coy bullshit, but I suck at it. I tend to be direct, honest, even blunt. I don't have the energy to expend on endless manipulating of people. But in my experience, a lot of men prefer dishonest women who play games. These girls will pretend to be one way (sweet, adoring, worshipful of your manliness) but in reality they are using you and manipulating you. Men marry women like this and then all they do is complain and whine about their manipulative wife. LOL Well, it took me a longer time to find someone who loved me, because I was honest and direct and I didn't lie, and men ran away from all that honesty. But the cool thing about being honest, is that you attract honest friends. You may not have as many friends, but the ones you have are the kinds you can trust with your life!