Quote Originally Posted by alexsms View Post
It's strange that some members here think Ms. Bruk's account is 'exaggerated' (it's worth noticing that she is Russian only by blood, and American by all the rest). I find it a most sincere and well written essay and it's great that Deb found the link. Here is the author's personal page for those interested Diana Bruk | writer. editor. life enthusiast

What the author says is 100% true as she knows what she is writing about. She might be a tiny bit frustrated (which is small wonder considering she is quite educated), but it's mostly a sober and analytical account. It seems however that she is attracted by men with certain traits (and her description is very sincere, don't you think?); i think she is honest in her analysis of her relationships. She often describes the notorious cultural differences that are always there.
Her experience reminded me a lot of my own experience, although we are separated by a generation (or two). Russian guys were not all that much different in Soviet times than they are now, really, if what she is saying is true. I am not sure what motive she would have to lie about her experience or "exaggerate." But then, in life, men have often accused me of lying or exaggerating whenever I called them on their bullshit, too

In my experience, American men were more understanding of women's rights issues and more encouraging of my career goals and dreams than Russian guys were.

But Russian guys, frankly, turned me on more than American guys. They were more romantic, more tender and sensual, more gentlemanly and protective. Russian guys would get so offended (!!!) if I offered to "dutch treat" (share expenses, for those unfamiliar with this expression) on a date. They treated me like a "lady" and that was refreshing after so many American guys were treating me (pretty much) like another guy. The downside of that, is Russian guys usually thought that my sole purpose in life should be having babies.

On the other hand, I have also dated a lot of sexist PIGS in the US. One guy I briefly dated in my 20's, a Navy cadet who worked on submarines, told me the following: "A guy should stick with his buddies. If it comes down to a (life or death) choice, a guy should save his buddy, not his girlfriend."

So I asked him, "What if your girlfriend IS your buddy?"

He could not believe that it was possible to have the same level of affection for a woman, as for a man. I did not date him again. In fact, I threw him out of my apartment one fine day when he thought he would leave his dirty clothing there for me to wash.

Another American guy I dated, this one was a state trooper (cop) screwed me one time and then dumped me. It left me heartbroken for at least a year. He saw me as a "trophy" and he even told me so. He just wanted to screw me once, and frankly he was not any good in bed. But I had feelings for him, which scared him and he ran away like a cowardly little rabbit.

Russian guys broke my heart, but American guys broke my heart just as badly, so I completely understand this writer's frustrations as a woman. She wants someone who will love her like a Russian, but let her achieve her dreams like an American.

Does such a man exist? I don't know.