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Thread: My translation. Correct it please!

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    My translation. Correct it please!

    This is my tramslation of the essay. Correct my mistakes, please!

    What is love? Perhaps from the very appearance of mankind people have been trying to find an answer to this rhetorical question. Love can be described in many ways. It's a feeling that brings either happiness and pain, that gives you wings to fly and drops you down, that is both mutual and unrequited. But despite all these contradictions the one thing is clear: love is beautiful in all its manifestations.
    When a human loves their heart sings and their soul longs to get out of chest. Is it possible to hurt someone in such a state? The answer is definite: NO. Love is a creator that ennobles everything around it. Writers and poets write their best works under the impression of this feeling, artists create splendid pictures and simple people just try to make our life a little bit better adding good in their every action. Isn't it a magic? What else is able to influence on a person in such a positive way? Only love.
    Of course it's not easy to find it in this swift world where material welfaire is appreciated undeservedly high and feelings withdraw behind it. But anyway each of us can feel the life-giving force of love at least once. We just have to look around and let its wonderful impulses in your heart.
    Many people are sure it's impossible to live without love. It adds colours in our existance indeed, multiplying the good and protecting us from the bad. Namely force of love is the sourse of all the noble, pure, unselfish things on Earth!
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    People, where are you? I need your help
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Завсегдатай Ramil's Avatar
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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Quote Originally Posted by Agnetha
    People, where are you? I need your help
    They were all asleep (since it was night out there when you'd posted it). Now it's working day there. Have patience. The auditory you seek will appear after 2 a.m. Moscow time (those in USA). ))) Or at least after 9 p.m. (those in EU)

    I could help you, but I am not a native English speaker.
    Send me a PM if you need me.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    What is love? Perhaps from the very appearance of mankind people have been trying to find an answer to this rhetorical question. Love can be described in many ways. It's a feeling that brings either happiness or (this is better here because you used either) pain, that gives you wings to fly and drops you down, that is both mutual and unrequited. But despite all these contradictions, one thing is clear: love is beautiful in all its manifestations.
    When a human loves their heart sings and their soul longs to get out of their chest. Is it possible to hurt someone in such a state? The answer is definite: NO. Love is a creator that enables everything around it. Writers and poets write their best works under the impression of this feeling, artists create splendid pictures and simple people just try to make our life a little bit better by adding good in their every action. Isn't it a (not needed) magic? What else is able to influence on (not needed) a person in such a positive way? Only love.
    Of course, it's not easy to find it in this swift world where material welfare is appreciated undeservedly high and feelings withdraw behind it. But anyway (nothing grammatically wrong, but the sentence sounds better without it) each of us can feel the life-giving force of love at least once. We just have to look around and let its wonderful impulses in our hearts.
    Many people are sure it's impossible to live without love. It adds colours in our existence indeed, multiplying the good and protecting us from the bad. Namely, the force of love is the source of all the noble, pure, unselfish things on Earth!

    Hope this helps.

    I tried just to correct grammar mistakes rather than substituting words or phrases that sounded more appropriate because you said it was a translation.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Love is a creator that ennobles everything around it
    Love is a creator that enables everything around it
    "ennoble" is ok here.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    What is love? Perhaps, from the very appearance of mankind, people have been trying to find an answer to this rhetorical question. Love can be described in many ways. It's a feeling that brings either (do not need to use this word) happiness and or (can use this word too instead of and) pain, that gives you wings to fly and then drops you down, that it is both mutual and unrequited. But (do not need to use this word.) Despite all these contradictions, the (do not need this word) one thing is clear: love is beautiful in all of its manifestations.
    When a human loves, their heart sings and their soul longs to get out of their chest. Is it possible to hurt someone in such a state? The answer is a definite: NO! Love is a creator that ennobles (this word IS correct usage) everything around it. Writers and poets write their best works under the impression of this feeling, artists create splendid pictures and simple people just try to make our (or use the word their) life a little bit better by adding good in their every action. Isn't it a ( do not need to use this word) magic? What else is able to influence on ( do not need to use this word) a person in such a positive way? Only love.
    Of course, it's not easy to find it in this swift world, where material welfare is appreciated (undeservedly high) and feelings withdraw behind it. But anyway (no need to use these 2 words) Each of us can feel the life-giving force of love at least once. We just have to look around and let its wonderful impulses in our hearts.
    Many people are sure it's impossible to live without love. It adds colours in our existence, indeed, multiplying the good and protecting us from the bad. Namely, the force of love is the source of all the noble, pure, and unselfish things on Earth!


    Without the highlights

    What is love? Perhaps, from the very appearance of mankind, people have been trying to find an answer to this rhetorical question. Love can be described in many ways. It's a feeling that brings happiness and pain, that gives you wings to fly and then drops you down, that it is both mutual and unrequited. Despite all these contradictions, one thing is clear: love is beautiful in all of its manifestations.
    When a human loves, their heart sings and their soul longs to get out of their chest. Is it possible to hurt someone in such a state? The answer is a definite: NO! Love is a creator that ennobles everything around it. Writers and poets write their best works under the impression of this feeling, artists create splendid pictures and simple people just try to make their life a little bit better by adding good in their every action. Isn't it magic? What else is able to influence a person in such a positive way? Only love.
    Of course, it's not easy to find it in this swift world, where material welfare is appreciated (undeservedly high) and feelings withdraw behind it. Each of us can feel the life-giving force of love at least once. We just have to look around and let its wonderful impulses in our hearts.
    Many people are sure it's impossible to live without love. It adds colours in our existence, indeed, multiplying the good and protecting us from the bad. Namely, the force of love is the source of all the noble, pure, and unselfish things on Earth!

    I hope this helps you a little bit.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    I just assumed he was trying to say "enables". The word ennobles didn't even cross my mind, probably only because it's not too commonly used. But otherwise I agree with the slightly different corrections above as well I would've done more, but I decided to fix only the most egregious errors since it was supposedly a translation.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Quote Originally Posted by brandonp
    I just assumed he was trying to say "enables". The word ennobles didn't even cross my mind, probably only because it's not too commonly used. But otherwise I agree with the slightly different corrections above as well I would've done more, but I decided to fix only the most egregious errors since it was supposedly a translation.
    True the word is used rarely. When reading the passage as he translated, the word evoked the proper (to me) meaning of the content.

    Thank you for the compliment.

    Well ... since I did not have the original text (is the original text floating around here?) I took liberties that maybe I should not have. If so, I beg apology. heheee

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Thanks a lot, guys, you really helped me. I'm gonna follow your advice
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Something about the word "ennobles"... I wanted to say that "Любовь ОБЛАГОРАЖИВАЕТ все вокруг" (if you understand Russian). If no, the sense is"Love elevates/improves". Is the verb "to ennoble" really so rare??
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Correct this one too, please

    We always know when somebody wants to address us. We can find it out by their pose, that may be called "the pose of address", by the expression of "inquiring eyes", by some movements of hands. It is clear that we communicate not only with the help of speech, but also with the help of gestures, facial expressions, movements of body.
    Ancient rite of handshake demonstrates the partner that the person, who he greets, has no weapon in their right hand. And nowadays we tell a child to greet with his right hand. It is accepted that a man takes off his glove for handshake if it takes place in winter. This gesture also shows that the hand is unarmed.
    A man raised his hat slightly or took his cap off. What for? At present it's a sign of politeness, but earlier a man took off his helmet and uncovered his head in token of trust towards his interlocutor or the owner of a house.
    Have you noticed that this rite doesn't provide such gestures for a woman? It's historically clear. Women didn't have any weapons and didn't wear helmets. However a droop is usual for women too. It's a sign of humility.
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    We always know when somebody wants to address us. We can find it out by their pose or stance, that may be called "the pose of address", by the expression of their "inquiring eyes", or by some movements of the hands. It is clear that we communicate not only with the help of speech, but also with the help of gestures, facial expressions, and movements of the body.
    Ancient rite of handshakes demonstrates to the partner that the person, who he greets, has no weapon in their right hand. And, nowadays, we tell a child to greet with his right hand. It is accepted or the word acceptable that a man takes off his glove for a handshake if it takes place in winter. This gesture also shows that the hand is unarmed.
    A man raises his hat slightly or takes off his cap. What for? At present it's a sign of politeness, but in the past, a man took off his helmet and uncovered his head in token of trust towards his interlocutor or the owner of a house.
    Have you noticed that this rite doesn't provide such gestures for a woman? It's historically clear, women didn't have any (I would not use this word) weapons and didn't wear helmets. However a droop (or bow - seems more appropriate) is usual for women too. It's a sign of humility.


    without the highlights
    We always know when somebody wants to address us. We can find it out by their pose or stance, that may be called "the pose of address", by the expression of their "inquiring eyes", or by some movements of the hands. It is clear that we communicate not only with the help of speech, but also with the help of gestures, facial expressions, and movements of the body.
    Ancient rite of handshakes demonstrates to the partner that the person, who he greets, has no weapon in their right hand. And, nowadays, we tell a child to greet with his right hand. It is acceptable that a man takes off his glove for a handshake if it takes place in winter. This gesture also shows that the hand is unarmed.
    A man raises his hat slightly or takes off his cap. What for? At present it's a sign of politeness, but in the past, a man took off his helmet and uncovered his head in token of trust towards his interlocutor or the owner of a house.
    Have you noticed that this rite doesn't provide such gestures for a woman? It's historically clear, women didn't have weapons and didn't wear helmets. However a bow is usual for women too. It's a sign of humility.

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!


    Большое спасибо!
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Esenin's perception of the world developed in close communication with nature since his early age. Through it a young poet comprehended complication of existence, vicissitudes of human's destiny and life of his own soul. The first poem, that was published by the young poet, revealed the remarkable ability of his poetic sight. He saw the tree, which was growing under his window, not in an usual way, but as if it wore a solemn attire, as if it was standing in reverent silence, as if its life was unhurried, but endlessly imperishable, permanently self-enriching.
    A poet S.Gorodetskii, who heard the first verses about nature directly from the author, felt that "a great happiness had come into the russian poetry". Nature in youth's poems has tinkled with the birds voices, whisper of the leaves, speaking of the brooks and with noise of the rains, has acquired all coloures of the rainbow.
    Esenin felt nature in its movement, he caught connection of its separate elements. Nature in his poetry breathes, acts, lives. This can be explained by the fact, that the poet describing it uses "the sound image": "A forest tinkles with the gold", "A winter sings". Not only wood, but also rye rings in his verses.
    Esenin not only watched, but also experienced deeply all the phenomena of nature; he longed to penetrate inside its mysteries with his mind and senses.
    Please, correct my mistakes. Thanks!
    Bitte, berichtigen Sie meine Fehler. Danke!

  15. #15
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    Re: My translation. Correct it please!

    Agnetha - Indeed the verb "to ennoble" is extraordinarily rare. I think I've only ever seen it one time many years ago, in an archaic book.

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