Quote Originally Posted by kwatts59
Quote Originally Posted by Ustas
They were in a kitchen of a big house, an old man and a young slender woman.
An old man and young slender woman were in the kitchen of a big house.
Once again rid a nice poetic sentence of any character.

Your sentence, Kwatts, is a dull neutral sentence. This is a STORY, not a police report.

Ustas, leave it how it is. Hmm, perhaps you needs a semi-colon rather than a comma.