I think it looke like you have just translated it word by word from a dictionary. You can't do that when learning languages, especially not in russian where the grammar is really heavy. You need to study grammar a lot before you try to put together your own sentences, and if you're studying all by yourself I'ts not going to be easier to learn.

I reccomend starting with cases, because they tell what function a word has in a sentence, and to me, as a student of russian this looks almost like random jibberish