Thread: Missing parts in English translation of Pushkin's "The daughter of the commandant"

Yesterday Tatiana Batura had finished aligning (in the ParallelBook format) the Russian original text with a public domain English translation by Mary Pamela Milne-Home. However it turned out that about 45 phrases, sentences or even paragraphs from the source were missing in the translation. I think filling the gaps with the help of the community (provided the new translations will also stay in the public domain) would be a great achievement, that is, a complete public domain translation of the novel.
In this topic I will post the missing parts (with the surrounding context) with my "rough" translation into English. Since my English is very far from being perfect, I hope you will help me correct my mistakes and improve the translation.

Матушка была еще мною брюхата, как уже я был записан в Семеновский полк сержантом, по милости майора гвардии князя В., близкого нашего родственника.

My mother was still pregnant with me, when I had already been enrolled as sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of the major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our near relation.

...я был записан в Семеновский полк сержантом, по милости майора гвардии князя В., близкого нашего родственника. Если бы паче всякого чаяния матушка родила дочь, то батюшка объявил бы куда следовало о смерти неявившегося сержанта, и дело тем бы и кончилось. Я считался в отпуску до окончания наук.

...I had been enrolled as sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of the major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our near relation. If later, contrary to expectations, my mother had given birth to a girl, my father would have informed the proper quarter of the death of the missing sergeant, and that would have been that. I was supposed to be away on leave till my education was finished.

Главною его слабостию была страсть к прекрасному полу; нередко за свои нежности получал он толчки, от которых охал по целым суткам. К тому же не был он (по его выражению) и врагом бутылки, т. е. (говоря по-русски) любил хлебнуть лишнее.

His greatest weakness was a love of the fair sex. It was not infrequent for him to receive, in response to his endearments, such blows that made him groan for days and nights. Neither, as he said himself, was he averse to the bottle, that is, as we say in Russia, that his passion was drink.

Прачка Палашка, толстая и рябая девка, и кривая коровница Акулька как-то согласились в одно время кинуться матушке в ноги, винясь в преступной слабости и с плачем жалуясь на мусье, обольстившего их неопытность. Матушка шутить этим не любила и пожаловалась батюшке.

The washerwoman, Polashka, a fat girl, pitted with small-pox, and the one-eyed cow-girl, Akoulka, had once arranged to threw themselves at my mother's feet, confess to sinful weakness and to complain, crying and screaming, against the "moussié" who had seduced their inexperience. Mother was not a person to be taken lightly with such stories and in her turn complained to my father,

А откуда вообще взялся этот, прости Господи, Banojik? Что это за слово такое? В оригинале везде "князь Б.".

Я был тоже немало удивлен. Может быть, переводчица работала с какой-то черновой / более ранней редакцией? Других объяснений у меня нет.

И в кого ты пошел? Кажется, ни батюшка, ни дедушка пьяницами не бывали; о матушке и говорить нечего: отроду, кроме квасу, в рот ничего не изволили брать. А кто всему виноват? проклятый мусье. То и дело, бывало, к Антипьевне забежит: «Мадам, же ву при, водкю». Вот тебе и же ву при! Нечего сказать: добру наставил, собачий сын.

"Well, where do you get it from? It seems to me that neither your father nor your grandfather were drunkards. We needn't talk of your mother; she has never touched a drop of anything since she was born, except kvass. So whose fault is it? Whose but the confounded 'moussié;' Didn't he used to show up at Antipyevna's every now and then and ask, "Madame, je vous prie, vodku"? And here's that "je vous prie"! He taught you fine things, that son of a dog,

Now, this one is really difficult.

Делать было нечего. Я взял на себя вид равнодушный и, обратясь к Савельичу, который был "и денег, и белья, и дел моих рачитель", приказал отдать мальчику сто рублей.

There was nothing for it. I assumed a look of indifference, and, addressing myself to Savéliitch, who was in charge of my money, my linen and my affairs, I bid him hand over a hundred roubles to the little boy.

The problem is that the phrase missing in Milne-Home translation is in fact a quote from Fonvizin's poem "Послание к слугам моим Шумилову, Ваньке и Петрушке" (see line 4). "Рачитель" is an archaic word which means "a person who devotedly takes care of something". I am pretty sure the poem quoted by Pushkin has never been translated into English. Do you think it's worth keeping to the metric foot of the poem or it is enough just to translate the meaning?

Я непременно хотел с ним помириться и не знал с чего начать. Наконец я сказал ему: «Ну, ну, Савельич! полно, помиримся, виноват; вижу сам, что виноват. Я вчера напроказил, а тебя напрасно обидел. Обещаюсь вперед вести себя умнее и слушаться тебя. Ну, не сердись; помиримся». — Эх, батюшка Петр Андреич! — отвечал он с глубоким вздохом. — Сержусь-то я на самого себя; сам я кругом виноват.

I had firmly resolved to make peace with him, but I did not know how to begin. At last I said to him — "Look here, Savéliitch, enough of this, let us make peace; I agree that the fault is mine. Yesterday I ran into trouble and hurt you for nothing. From now on I promise to behave cleverer and listen to you. Come on, don't be mad, let's make peace." "Oh! my little father, Petr' Andréjïtch," he replied, with a deep sigh, "I am angry with myself; it is I who am to blame for everything.

Я был произведен в офицеры. Служба меня не отягощала. В богоспасаемой крепости не было ни смотров, ни учений, ни караулов. Комендант по собственной охоте учил иногда своих солдат; но еще не мог добиться, чтобы все они знали, которая сторона правая, которая левая, хотя многие из них, дабы в том не ошибиться, перед каждым оборотом клали на себя знамение креста.

I became an officer. My work did not weigh heavily upon me. In this heaven-blest fort there was no drill to do, no guard to mount, nor review to pass. Sometimes the Commandant instructed his soldiers for his own pleasure. But he had not yet succeeded in teaching them to know their right hand from their left, although many of them, to make certain, crossed themselves before each turn.

Originally Posted by Inego

Матушка была еще мною брюхата, как уже я был записан в Семеновский полк сержантом, по милости майора гвардии князя В., близкого нашего родственника.

My mother was still pregnant with me, when I had already been enrolled as sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of the major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our near relation.

I was still in my mother's womb when I was enrolled as a sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of Major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our close relation.

Originally Posted by Inego

...я был записан в Семеновский полк сержантом, по милости майора гвардии князя В., близкого нашего родственника. Если бы паче всякого чаяния матушка родила дочь, то батюшка объявил бы куда следовало о смерти неявившегося сержанта, и дело тем бы и кончилось. Я считался в отпуску до окончания наук.

...I had been enrolled as sergeant in the Séménofsky regiment by favour of the major of the Guard, Prince Banojik, our near relation. If later, contrary to expectations, my mother had given birth to a girl, my father would have informed the proper quarter of the death of the missing sergeant, and that would have been that. I was supposed to be away on leave till my education was finished.

If, contrary to expectation, my mother had given birth to a daughter, my father would have informed the regiment of the absent sergeant's death and that would have been the end of it.

Originally Posted by Inego

Прачка Палашка, толстая и рябая девка, и кривая коровница Акулька как-то согласились в одно время кинуться матушке в ноги, винясь в преступной слабости и с плачем жалуясь на мусье, обольстившего их неопытность. Матушка шутить этим не любила и пожаловалась батюшке.

The washerwoman, Polashka, a fat girl, pitted with small-pox, and the one-eyed cow-girl, Akoulka, had once arranged to threw themselves at my mother's feet, confess to sinful weakness and to complain, crying and screaming, against the "moussié" who had seduced their inexperience. Mother was not a person to be taken lightly with such stories and in her turn complained to my father,

The washerwoman, Polashka, a fat girl, pitted with small-pox, and the one-eyed cow-girl, Akoulka, decided to throw themselves at my mother's feet, to confess their sinful weakness and to complain, crying and screaming, about the "moussié" who had seduced their inexperience. Mother did not take this lightly and in her turn complained to my father,

Originally Posted by Inego

И в кого ты пошел? Кажется, ни батюшка, ни дедушка пьяницами не бывали; о матушке и говорить нечего: отроду, кроме квасу, в рот ничего не изволили брать. А кто всему виноват? проклятый мусье. То и дело, бывало, к Антипьевне забежит: «Мадам, же ву при, водкю». Вот тебе и же ву при! Нечего сказать: добру наставил, собачий сын.

"Well, where do you get it from? It seems to me that neither your father nor your grandfather were drunkards. We needn't talk of your mother; she has never touched a drop of anything since she was born, except kvass. So whose fault is it? Whose but the confounded 'moussié;' Didn't he used to show up at Antipyevna's every now and then and ask, "Madame, je vous prie, vodku"? And here's that "je vous prie"! He taught you fine things, that son of a dog,

"Well, where do you get it from? It seems to me that neither your father nor your grandfather were drunkards. We needn't talk of your mother; she has never touched a drop of anything since she was born, except kvass. So whose fault is it? That damned 'moussié': didn't he used to show up at Antipyevna's every now and then asking, "Madame, je vous prie, vodku"? Here, take that "je vous prie"! He taught you fine things, that damned son.

Originally Posted by Inego

Now, this one is really difficult.

Делать было нечего. Я взял на себя вид равнодушный и, обратясь к Савельичу, который был "и денег, и белья, и дел моих рачитель", приказал отдать мальчику сто рублей.

There was nothing for it. I assumed a look of indifference, and, addressing myself to Savéliitch, who was in charge of my money, my linen and my affairs, I bid him hand over a hundred roubles to the little boy.

The problem is that the phrase missing in Milne-Home translation is in fact a quote from Fonvizin's poem "Послание к слугам моим Шумилову, Ваньке и Петрушке" (see line 4). "Рачитель" is an archaic word which means "a person who devotedly takes care of something". I am pretty sure the poem quoted by Pushkin has never been translated into English. Do you think it's worth keeping to the metric foot of the poem or it is enough just to translate the meaning?

Nothing could be done. I assumed a look of indifference, and, addressing myself to Savéliitch, who was in charge of my money, my linen and my affairs, I told him to hand over a hundred roubles to the little boy.

Originally Posted by Inego

Я непременно хотел с ним помириться и не знал с чего начать. Наконец я сказал ему: «Ну, ну, Савельич! полно, помиримся, виноват; вижу сам, что виноват. Я вчера напроказил, а тебя напрасно обидел. Обещаюсь вперед вести себя умнее и слушаться тебя. Ну, не сердись; помиримся». — Эх, батюшка Петр Андреич! — отвечал он с глубоким вздохом. — Сержусь-то я на самого себя; сам я кругом виноват.

I had firmly resolved to make peace with him, but I did not know how to begin. At last I said to him — "Look here, Savéliitch, enough of this, let us make peace; I agree that the fault is mine. Yesterday I ran into trouble and hurt you for nothing. From now on I promise to behave cleverer and listen to you. Come on, don't be mad, let's make peace." "Oh! my little father, Petr' Andréjïtch," he replied, with a deep sigh, "I am angry with myself; it is I who am to blame for everything.

enough of this, let us make peace; I agree that the fault is mine. Yesterday I ran into trouble and hurt you for nothing. From now on I promise to act smarter and to listen to you. Come on, don't be mad, let's make peace."

Originally Posted by Inego

Я был произведен в офицеры. Служба меня не отягощала. В богоспасаемой крепости не было ни смотров, ни учений, ни караулов. Комендант по собственной охоте учил иногда своих солдат; но еще не мог добиться, чтобы все они знали, которая сторона правая, которая левая, хотя многие из них, дабы в том не ошибиться, перед каждым оборотом клали на себя знамение креста.

I became an officer. My work did not weigh heavily upon me. In this heaven-blest fort there was no drill to do, no guard to mount, nor review to pass. Sometimes the Commandant instructed his soldiers for his own pleasure. But he had not yet succeeded in teaching them to know their right hand from their left, although many of them, to make certain, crossed themselves before each turn.

although many of them, just to be sure, crossed themselves before each turn.

Thanks a lot!
More is coming.

Originally Posted by sperk

He taught you fine things, that damned son.

У Пушкина именно "собачий" сын