Thread: Looking for phrase. Possible from a woman's point of view?

I am working on a novel and need help with a line of Russian. I am not looking for the most correct grammar, but seek how the line would be spoken aloud. The line is to be spoken by a young teenage girl, so a woman's point of view might be helpful.

[i]The situation:
The character speaking the line is a 13 year old girl, from a aristocratic family. Her father has recently become engaged to a Russian Naval officer. Her step-mother to be is a woman who she has known for several years, and whom she is fond. The girl has decided to call the woman mother. She does this in Russian as not to confuser her with her birth mother.

Her line is "Goodbye, I will miss you Mother." The best translation I have come up with is "До свидания, я буду тосковать без Вас мать." : "Goodbye, I shall grieve without you Mother"

My understanding of Russian linguistics is horrible. What would be the best translation for this statement. Keeping in mind it is supposed to be a term of endearment spoken by a teenage girl.

Maybe

До свидания, мама... Я буду тосковать по Вам.

"До свидания, мама, я буду скучать по тебе".

You can probably also say "мамочка" ("mommy") instead of "мама".

Originally Posted by translations.nm.ru

"До свидания, мама, я буду скучать по тебе".

You can probably also say "мамочка" ("mommy") instead of "мама".

Is it what aristocratic girls can say?

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Originally Posted by translations.nm.ru

"До свидания, мама, я буду скучать по тебе".

You can probably also say "мамочка" ("mommy") instead of "мама".

Is it what aristocratic girls can say?

I doubt he meant real old aristocracy. The were no female naval officers back then .

Odin, can you give us some more info about the girl's background?

Originally Posted by translations.nm.ru

Odin, can you give us some more info about the girl's background?

The novel actually takes place in very near future, so contemporary speech would be correct. The girl is very modern, and likes most things young teenagers like. However because she has had a very formal education she tends to behave and speak somewhat formally.

Originally Posted by Odin

The novel actually takes place in very near future, so contemporary speech would be correct. The girl is very modern, and likes most things young teenagers like. However because she has had a very formal education she tends to behave and speak somewhat formally.

Well, I think my first version ("До свидания, мама, я буду скучать по тебе") will work then.

Originally Posted by translations.nm.ru

Well, I think my first version ("До свидания, мама, я буду скучать по тебе") will work then.

Thank you very much! This is a wonderful website.

One more small question. Since it is being applied as a proper pronoun should "мама" be capitalized?

Originally Posted by Odin

One more small question. Since it is being applied as a proper pronoun should "мама" be capitalized?

No.

Спасибо