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Thread: Александр Розенбаум - ЛЕСОСПЛАВ translation attempt

  1. #1
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    Александр Розенбаум - ЛЕСОСПЛАВ translation attempt

    Long time no translation attempt! This one is from a song I have by Александр Розенбаум - ЛЕСОСПЛАВ



    Переломаны буреломами.
    Край бурановый под охраною.
    Костерок ослаб.
    Не сберечь его. В яме волчьей вой.
    Кто упал - лежит. Песню лес сложил
    Нам про лесосплав.

    Broken, stormbroken.
    stormy land under guard.
    The campfire is dying out
    (lit. little camfire is weakend)
    Don't keep it going. In the hole a wolf howl
    The one who falls - lies. The forest created a song
    we sing about timber rafting


    Утро сизое. Бревна склизлые.
    В ледяной воде не до лебедя,
    Табачок сырой.
    И дымит запал, с телогреек пар
    В небо тянется. Кто останется,
    Тот не встанет в строй.

    blue-grey morning. The logs are slippery(?)
    In the icy water it isn't to the point of swans,
    damp tobacco.
    And the fire smokes, from the body warmers comes steam
    drawn into the sky. He who stays behind,
    will not stand in rank.


    Холода штыков да баланды ковш,
    Журавлиный крик да телеги скрип -
    По стеклу гвоздем.
    Сном ржаной сухарь, в перекура хмарь
    Повело на ель в мягкую постель,
    Там свое возьмем...

    This one is crazy, I understand nil
    The coldness of bayonets and a shovel of nonsense(?)
    The swan's cry and the creak of the cart
    on the glass with a nail.
    during a dream, a rye cracker, in the darkness of a smoke break
    began on a fir-tree into a soft bed,
    there we will take ours.
    ничего не понимаю!!!

    Лягу в прошлое - в куст с морошкою,
    Лягу в давнее - в гриб раздавленный,
    В подосиновик,
    Вспомню бывшее - листик слипшийся.
    Вспомню старое - утро жаркое,
    Небо синее.

    I will lie in the past, in a berry-bush,
    I will lie in the long past, in the squashed mushroom,
    in the aspen mushroom
    I will remember the past things, the leaves stuck togehter
    I will remember the old, the hot morning
    the blue sky


    Переломаны буреломами.
    Край бурановый под охраною.
    Костерок пропал.
    Ходуном щека, лязг трелевщика,
    Навались, браток. Расколись про то,
    Как сюда попал.

    Broken, stormbroken.
    stormy land under guard.
    The campfire is dead
    The cheek shaked, the skidder rattled(?)
    Get going, friend. Spill the beans about
    Here Расколись means split open... same meaning as "tell the truth" in this context?
    how you ended up here

    Разлилась река да в пустой стакан,
    Недовольная... Не до воли нам -
    До барака бы...
    Как дьяк истину - сапоги стянуть
    И в сухое влезть, и приснится лес
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...

    The river overflowed into an empty glass,
    it's not happy... it's not in our will
    if only to the barracks
    like the lecturer to the truth - tighten the boots
    and climb in to the dry, and the forest dreams
    similar...
    similar...
    similar...
    similar...
    similar...


    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  2. #2
    Moderator Lampada's Avatar
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    http://bards.ru/play.php?a_Rozenbaum/pe ... lomami.ram

    (Поющий вроде бы в полубреду от усталости.)

    Переломаны буреломами. (бурелом -wind-fallen wood)
    Край бурановый под охраною.
    Костерок ослаб.
    Не сберечь его. В яме волчьей вой.
    Кто упал - лежит. Песню снег сложил
    Нам про лесосплав.

    Утро сизое. Бревна склизлые.
    В ледяной воде не до лебедя,
    Табачок сырой.
    И дымит запал, с телогреек пар
    В небо тянется. Кто останется,
    Тот не встанет в строй.

    Холода штыков да баланды ковш, (ladle of soup)
    Журавлиный крик да телеги скрип -
    По стеклу гвоздём.
    Сном ржаной сухарь, в перекура xмарь
    Повело на ель в мягкую постель,
    Там своё возьмём...

    Лягу в прошлое - в куст с морошкою,
    Лягу в давнее - в гриб раздавленный,
    В подосиновик,
    Вспомню бывшее - листик слипшийся.
    Вспомню старое - утро жаркое,
    Небо синее.

    Переломаны буреломами.
    Край бурановый под охраною.
    Костерок пропал.
    Ходуном щека, лязг трелёвщика,
    Навались, браток. Расколись про то,
    Как сюда попал.

    Разлилась река да в пустой стакан,
    Недовольная... Не до воли нам -
    До барака бы...
    Как дьяк истину - сапоги стянуть
    И в сухое влезть, и приснится лес
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...
    Одинаковый...
    "...Важно, чтобы форум оставался местом, объединяющим людей, для которых интересны русский язык и культура. ..." - MasterАdmin (из переписки)



  3. #3
    Властелин
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    This was a really tough one.

    Comments (whatever I can see):

    1. В яме волчьей. I am not so sure of the accuracy of translation here. What is meant is not a hole in the sense of "burrow". Волчья яма is a trap. A burrow would be волчья нора.

    2. не до чего-нибудь = not to care [not to have time or will to care] about something (colloquialism). In the icy water couldn't care less about swans (or something like that).

    3. This one is crazy, I understand nil
    Let's try it, it's somewhat of a flow of consciousness
    баланды ковш = a bowl of skilly
    Сном ржаной сухарь means that a rye cracker is an unreachable dream

    Повело на ель в мягкую постель, what is meant is that someone [author] is drawn to a bed of fir-tree branches. This bed is sorta common in siberian woods among hunters and, I guess, prisoners. It is also an allusion to death. Fir-tree branches are not always associated with Christmas in Russia, but also with a funeral. Only there one возьмёт своё (take what is owed to him).

    4. Here Расколись means split open... same meaning as "tell the truth" in this context?

    Correct. Very good.

    Щека in the same paragraph is a side piece (or side plate) of a skidding machine

    5. Не до воли нам -
    Here "воля" is not will but freedom. Again, as in 2, "we do not care about freedom"

    6. Как дьяк истину - сапоги стянуть - [I'd like to] pull the boots off, like a clerk (priest) ["стянуть" here means "steals"] the truth (it's allegoric, and a play of words, I can't find an English analog that would stand for pull off and steal at the same time). Oh, looks like I got it. "I'd like to rip off the boots like a priest rips off the truth". How does that sound?

    Anyone noticed anything else or has other interpretations?
    I've got a TV, and I'm not afraid to use it

  4. #4
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    Thanks adoc! Those points are very valuable information to me! and thanks lampada for providing the forum with this excellent song!

    1. So it is "A howl in the wolf trap"

    2. So to see if I understood your point, if I say something like Я не до пешеходов when I am driving a car, it would mean I couldn't care less about pedestrians?

    3. A bowl of skilly, what is that? Is that some kind of prison food?

    4. What is a skidding machine anyway? Some kind of forestry machine I know, but does anyone know what it actually does?

    6. Rip off the truth doesn't sound very good to my ears... Maybe "I'd like to remove the boots just like the priest does to the truth"?

    I didn't really understand the meaning with По стеклу гвоздем - on the glass (or along the glass) with a nail... ? And what is with the squashed mushrooms? sounds quite comical actually.

    But I think I got the gist of the song, it is about siberian prisoner camps who are forced to work in the forest?

    Thanks again!
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  5. #5
    Властелин
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    it is about siberian prisoner camps who are forced to work in the forest.
    Yep, most likely about political prisoners judging by the tone of it.

    2. This has to be explained in more details, since it's rather common. It is used in the impersonal (? dunno the english definitions of russian clauses ) form, as in "Мне не до пешеходов". Since it's umm impersonal (hopefully using the right definition here), the word "Мне" could be omitted. I believe that this expression is a truncation of "Мне нет дела до пешеходов". However, be careful here! There is a significant difference in the meanings. If you say "Мне нет дела до пешеходов", this indicates your personal attitude towards pedestrians in general, as in "I am rich and powerful, and I don't care about pedestrians". When you say "Мне не до пешеходов", there must be some overwhelming circumstance that prevents you from paying attention against your better intentions. For example ""В пробке (in the traffic jam) в жару (when it's hot) мне не до пешеходов" (I am too distracted and feel sick). In the song such circumstances do exist, and the emphasis is on them. In the icy water, so tired that we only care about making it to the barracks, we don't care about other things.

    3. Баланда - tasteless soup, not just the one that you did not like, but really disgusting and having no flavor whatsoever. Prison food, basically.

    4. A skidding machine - I don't really know what it is, even the russian word I had to look up in a dictionary .

    6. I like your version much better. Nice and simple.

    По стеклу гвоздем. Ok you have to pay attention to the punctuation, namely to the hyphen. Here it is used to indicate comparison and omitted words. Журавлиный крик да телеги скрип -[are as annoying as]- По стеклу гвоздем.

    The squashed mushroom bit. This is more related to the poetic language and dramatic rules. In the previous paragraph deep peaceful sleep (or death) is mentioned. In my mind, the following paragraph portrays the realization of dreams and the unity with nature kind of nonsense. Other people may think differently. In any case, it is up to the listener to make interpretations.
    I've got a TV, and I'm not afraid to use it

  6. #6
    Почтенный гражданин
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    Трелевщик

    skidder




    http://www.sibtech.ru/alttrak/ml137/

  7. #7
    Moderator Lampada's Avatar
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    Adoc - умница!
    "...Важно, чтобы форум оставался местом, объединяющим людей, для которых интересны русский язык и культура. ..." - MasterАdmin (из переписки)



  8. #8
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    Adoc - Магистер! если бы я был женщиной...

    Огромное спасибо!
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

  9. #9
    Властелин
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    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    если бы я был женщиной...
    Now you are starting to scare me
    I've got a TV, and I'm not afraid to use it

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