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Thread: Another lyrical translation attempt!

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    Another lyrical translation attempt!

    My victim lyric is Прекрасное далеко from the film Гостья из будущего

    I translated the noun далеко as "the distance", there is no english noun for "far away"...

    Слышу голос из прекрасного далека,
    I hear the voice of the beautiful distance
    alternatively: I hear a voice from the beautiful distance...
    Голос утренний в серебряной росе.
    A morning voice in a silver rose
    Слышу голос, и манящая дорога
    I hear a voice, and the luring road
    Кружит голову, как в детстве карусель.
    spins the head, like a childhood carousel

    Прекрасное далеко
    beautiful distance
    Не будь ко мне жестоко,
    don't be brutal to me
    Не будь ко мне жестоко,
    don't be brutal to me
    Жестоко не будь.
    don't be brutal
    От чистого истока,
    From a clean source
    В прекрасное далеко,
    to the beautiful distance
    В прекрасное далеко,
    to the beautiful distance
    Я начинаю путь.
    I start my journey

    Слышу голос из прекрасного далека,
    I hear the voice of the beautiful distance
    Он зовет меня в чудесные края.
    He calls me to the wonderful borders
    Слышу голос, голос спрашивает строго:
    I hear the voice, the voice strictly asks:
    А сегодня что для завтра сделал я?
    And what did you do today for tomorrow?

    So here is my guess: the distance is life itself (maybe actually seing the film would of helped me )

    What is the verdict, respected forum readers? / /
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

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    Re: Another lyrical translation attempt!

    Not bad

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Слышу голос из прекрасного далека,
    I hear the voice of the beautiful distance
    alternatively: I hear a voice from the beautiful distance...
    I think this means
    I hear a voice from the beautiful distance
    "из" = "from"

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Голос утренний в серебряной росе.
    A morning voice in a silver rose
    "росе" = "dew" NOT "розе".

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Не будь ко мне жестоко,
    don't be brutal to me
    I would say
    "Don't be cruel to me"

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Я начинаю путь.
    I start my journey
    I do not know if "journey" is the right word here.
    I am thinking this should be "I begin the way" but that sounds strange in English.

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    Он зовет меня в чудесные края.
    He calls me to the wonderful borders
    I think that "края" here means "lands" or "territories" or "areas".
    It calls me to the wonderful lands

    KV, I would say your level or Russian is very close to mine.
    We can correct each other's mistake.
    Какая разница, умереть богатым или бедным?

    Какой толк от богатства если ты не счастлив.

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    JJ
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    Re: Another lyrical translation attempt!

    Голос утренний в серебряной росе.
    A morning voice in silver dew
    .....
    От чистого истока,
    From clean beginnings

    Он зовет меня в чудесные края.
    It(voice) calls me to the wonderful lands

    It's a pretty nice song. Did you see the movie?
    Gib immer 100% bei der Arbeit: 12% am Montag, 23% am Dienstag, 40% am Mittwoch, 20% am Donnerstag, 5% am Freitag ...

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    Re: Another lyrical translation attempt!

    Oh, one more minor thing

    Quote Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie
    А сегодня что для завтра сделал я?
    And what did you do today for tomorrow?
    And what did I do today for tomorrow?
    Какая разница, умереть богатым или бедным?

    Какой толк от богатства если ты не счастлив.

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    Man, so many elementary mistakes!!! Thanks for the corrections! I really like the song, but haven't seen the movie yet...

    Yeah, sometimes literal translations don't work. When translating (esp songs), it is important to try to translate the idea, not the literal words. That is why I think that "I start my journey" is closer to the idea than "I begin the way". Otherwise I agree with all your corrections, Kwatts and JJ!
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

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    JJ
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    Re: Another lyrical translation attempt!

    One more correction:
    Кружит голову, как в детстве карусель.
    spins the head, like a carousel in childhood
    Gib immer 100% bei der Arbeit: 12% am Montag, 23% am Dienstag, 40% am Mittwoch, 20% am Donnerstag, 5% am Freitag ...

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    That was my original translation, but in english that is kind of ambigious.

    как в детстве карусель

    Like a carousel in childhood - a very young carousel...

    think my way sounds better... Like a childhood carousel
    Hei, rett norsken min og du er død.
    I am a notourriouse misspeller. Be easy on me.
    Пожалуйста! Исправляйте мои глупые ошибки (но оставьте умные)!
    Yo hablo español mejor que tú.
    Trusnse kal'rt eturule sikay!!! ))

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    JJ
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    Yeah, really you are right... But maybe something like Like a carousel in my/our childhood is better?
    Gib immer 100% bei der Arbeit: 12% am Montag, 23% am Dienstag, 40% am Mittwoch, 20% am Donnerstag, 5% am Freitag ...

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