Thread: the reality of Russia?

I was talking with a, by now former, friend of mine... he's russian and lived in arhangelsk (spelling?). He knows I love Russian language and music and am eager to visit Russia and discover this country, and everything about it. He says I think Russia is all great, but that I can keep on living in a dreamworld till I crash right into the reality of Russia...

And he said:

"You don't live in Russia!! You don't know russian language! You don't know nothing! NOTHING!!! You know NOTHING about the country I lived my whole life in. Maybe to you it's something nice and fancy but you don't know anything about it."

Hearing him talk like that, as if hopeless about Russia, and fed up, ... just made me feel awkward. What exactly don't I know? How much? How big?

He's living in America now and seems to be very happy he moved out of Russia. When I asked him what he means by 'reality of Russia' and all, he said he's not bothered to tell me and that I'll find out myself. I know, surely Russia had its problems in the past, like every country had/has, though at school we never learned about Russia in history class; it was almost always america-related, like the Vietnam War... and our own country's politics and history >_>;

I was friends with this guy since august 2005, and as time passed, it seemed that while I grew fonder of Russia, language and music, he seemed to be more fed up. Fed up by my fondness for Russia and related subjects, he declared today he doesn't care about me anymore and I'll crash into reality about Russia sooner or later.

Anyway, maybe this is a stupid question, or something I should know. But I don't.... so why o_o? What's this thing he's talking about? What's he so fed up about - or is he exaggerating?

Maybe you should ask him to get the answer.

It happens quite a bit. Everytime I make Russian friends in America they think its great I can speak Russian. But the minute I tell them I want to go to Russia, they think its cool... But at the same time a little idiotic.

Of course you wont get this reaction from everybody. (Most) Russians are extremely patriotic, moreso than any other country I've ever seen, but the fact is that (some) Russians are also extremely suspicious of outsiders.

1) your friend was from Arkanjelsk which is WAY the hell up north and nothing ever happens there.

And 2) your friend probly thinks that Russia is fine for Russians, but doesnt understand why an American would want to go there, or what business you could possibly have in Russia.

Don't worry about him, Ive met a few friends from Kaliningrad who tell me the same thing. Russia is so horrible, you'll get killed, you'll become poor, its too cold, too much crime, no good jobs... But hey they are from Kaliningrad so what do they know????

But other people will tell you diffrent things. My friend from Moscow, or Rostov, or Karaganda, or Nizhniy, or Ryazan say "Come on over, have yourself a good time".

Best to just ignore the nay-sayers.

@adoc:
I did... he said he wasn't bothered to answer, making me think that

1. he is really very upset by something about Russia

or

2. he's exaggerating and flipped about nothing.

His exact words: "why should I tell you about it? Go research on your own. I'm not going to explain. I have no time and desire to do that."

---

@dogboy:

Well, I'm Dutch actually... but so he could be thinking "what business does she have in Russia?" or be like " russia is poor/bad etc etc etc" ? -_- heh.

And yes I noticed a lot of Russians are patriotic. That's one of the elements I love about them, too.

Originally Posted by Stars

Go research on your own.

It may not be such a bad suggestion. You try it and decide for yourself what you like. I've met two americans living in Novosibirsk who said they would never ever go back to the US.

Yeah I've been researching a bit already today. Seems Russia has had political issues and such, but which country hasn't had issues? Russia hasn't had more than other countries or so. I'm still positive about wanting to go there once to discover everything about Russia.

[quote=adoc]

Originally Posted by Stars

Go research on your own.

It may not be such a bad suggestion. You try it and decide for yourself what you like. I've met two americans living in Novosibirsk who said they would never ever go back to the US.

I reckon it just depends on your personality. Some people will probably move to Russia and be totally shocked and will have to get out as soon as possible no matter what. And others will love it and never want to leave..... You should just go there and see for yourself what type you are.

Your friend probably just had a bad experience there. There are plenty of Russians who are happy with their lives there and wouldn't dream of moving to America or where ever, just like in any other country.

I knew this guy from America who says it is the biggest sh*thole on earth, and you would have to be crazy to go there. He used to live in the slums of New York and has a massive scar on his side from where he got knifed, lol.

a russian once described moscow as a high class prostitute. if you have money, its great and everything is possible for you, if not she rejects you completely (this would refer to the homeless babushkas etc).
fact is, life in russia for many is hard and for people, esp from the west, it takes time to get used to the stuff you see on the street every day. you shouldn't be naive. you see some bad things and it can freak you out, but this is also possible in any big city.
he may have had some real crappy life in russia and doesn't want to go into details. Ive met russians who love it there and others who absolutely hate it and think im weird for being there. but still, скинэды и менты в сторону, its a country of extremes, you may love it or hate it but you should just go there and try it

Originally Posted by Lt. Columbo

a russian once described moscow as a high class prostitute. if you have money, its great and everything is possible for you, if not she rejects you completely (this would refer to the homeless babushkas etc).
fact is, life in russia for many is hard and for people, esp from the west, it takes time to get used to the stuff you see on the street every day. you shouldn't be naive. you see some bad things and it can freak you out, but this is also possible in any big city.
he may have had some real cra@@y life in russia and doesn't want to go into details. Ive met russians who love it there and others who absolutely hate it and think im weird for being there. but still, скинэды и менты в сторону, its a country of extremes, you may love it or hate it but you should just go there and try it

Москва - это НЕ Россия

да я знаю, просто я жил в МОСКВЕ, и считаю, что Россия, это слишком общее понятие. я знаю, что многие считают, что москва, это не россия, но ответить на вопрос - какова россия, мне не по силам.
может ты нам расскажешь про жизнь в сибири, потом satrs может сравнивать

Originally Posted by Lt. Columbo

да я знаю, просто я жил в МОСКВЕ, и считаю, что Россия_ - это слишком общее понятие. я знаю, что многие считают, что москва_ - это не россия, но ответить на вопрос - какова россия, мне не по силам.
может, ты нам расскажешь про жизнь в сибири, потом satrs может сравнивать ("сравнить" is better here)

Originally Posted by Lt. Columbo

может ты нам расскажешь про жизнь в сибири, потом satrs может сравнивать

Лучше сравнивать увиденное чем услышанное.

Лучше сравнивать увиденное чем услышанное - согласен, но может быть у нее нет возможности, чтоб поехать в россию, и поэтому задала вопрос? нельзя ж отвечать на все вопросы с сломаим - иди смотри для себя, не так ли?

Originally Posted by Lt. Columbo

правда, но она не скоро поедет в россию, и этот сайт, ведь источник информатции, или справки не дадут?

справки дадут.
Всем.

Справка #1. Here (in Siberia) we do drive right sided cars and hate samogon with salt.

Seriously, I think people are friendlier here.

You know, I've had more or less the same problem. (Thing is, I'm totally unable to understand why someone from Europe would *want* to move to America in the first place , but I guess this is a matter of priorities.)

Then I found out that the guy in question had moved out in the mid 'wild west' nineties, because his father couldn't keep up with the money he was earning. He never went back. Now, I've been in Russia (though admittedly in Petersburg, which happens to be my favourite place in the world - I just know some of you will start arguing about how Petersburg is *not* Russia, which of course might be true, but this is not my point) but he just laughed at me when I tried to explain my feelings.
His reaction made me so sad that I gave up talking with him altogether. While I can understand his bitterness, I can't accept that someone could condemn their country so easily, especially when they left it in a time of crisis, of transition. He even refused to speak Russian, saying that it was 'a useless language', which drove me quite mad.

In any case, I haven't been disappointed. I study economics and business (you can't say I'm not a pragmatic) and I strongly believe in the future of Russia, in its potential, but even if things went wrong - I couldn't forget this culture and go make more money elsewhere. Many of my Russian friends think this way too. I'm still sorry for these people who left during hard times and can't picture Russia in any other way, to the point of denying the greatness of the country they were born in. But still, it's not my job to make them change their mind - I do hope that they will look back at some point and try to understand what was going on.

My suggestion is: never mind, go there, and make your own opinion.

This is a great place to learn about Russia, life there, culture; as seen through the eyes and experiences of "?Americans?" living in Moscow.... http://www.expat.ru/forum/index.php?

Originally Posted by Stars

Yeah I've been researching a bit already today. Seems Russia has had political issues and such, but which country hasn't had issues? Russia hasn't had more than other countries or so. I'm still positive about wanting to go there once to discover everything about Russia.

Hi stars,
Go and you'll see.
Such as you I love Russia
Russian litteratue,russian art,russian history,russian music
russian people
and the country
Between Russia and me it's a LOVE STORY;
BUT
sometimes it's a pity to see how people still live in the XXIth century and I can say most of the people....
They don't live better than they lived when communism
even worse
I have been there every year or every two years since 1966....
so I can tell you....
There's a proof:
so many young woman wish to marry an old european or american fat man
just to go away from there
You've never seen a french young woman marry an old rich american !!!
My best russian russian friend from peterburg got retired last april.She was an architect.Her pension is 43 euros /month which is about 50$/month.
The basic wage there is about 200$/month
etc etc etc
but I DO LOVE RUSSIA
И вот что я хочу ей сказать:

"ЖДИ МЕНЯ И Я ВЕРНУСЬ " Симонов

Originally Posted by Lt. Columbo

да я знаю, просто я жил в МОСКВЕ, и считаю, что Россия, это слишком общее понятие. я знаю, что многие считают, что москва, это не россия, но ответить на вопрос - какова россия, мне не по силам.
может ты нам расскажешь про жизнь в сибири, потом satrs может сравнивать

А я бы наоборот сказала что Москва это очень даже Россия. Какая же Россия без Москвы. Москвичи и Петербуржцы первые Россияне. Центр прежде всего, а уж потом все остальное.