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Thread: Please read and check...

  1. #1
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    Please read and check...

    Prologue

    Year of 2034.
    Whole world laid down in ruins. A human beings almost completely eleminated. Radiation makes ruins of the cities uninhabitable for human beings. Outside of the cities, it is said, begins endlesss scorched desert and thickets mutated forests. Nobody knows for sure what is out there.
    The civilization dies away. Memory about bygone greatness of humans grown up with tales and becomes into legends. More than 20 years ago a last plane leave earth. Railway with rust gones in nowhere. Buildings of a century becomes into the ruins still not finished. Radio send nothing, signallers hear despondency only in bilion time setting up the radio to the wave New-york, Paris and Moscow was broadcasted on.
    Just 20 yeas passed from That is happens. But the humans no more masters of the earth. Creatures, that radiation builds, are adapted to new world much better. Age of the human has come to an end.
    Men, who refuse to believe in that, is not much – just few tens thousand. They didn’t know, if there somebody else is survived or they – are last humans on the planet. They live in Moscow’s subway – the biggest nuclear bomb shelter was ever built. In the last men shelter.
    All of them was into subway at that day, that’s save their lives. Hermetic shutters defend them from radiation and monsters from outside, worn-out filters make air and water clean. Dynamos builded by skilled craftsmans make electricity, on the undergrounded farms growing up champignons and pigs.
    Central authorities break up a long time ago and stations become into a small state. Men unite at them round idea, religion or simple for water filters.
    That is world without tommorow. There is no place for dream, planes and hopes. Feelings yield place for instincts, main of them – to survive. To survive at any cost.

    Оригинал

    2034 год.
    Весь мир лежит в руинах. Человечество почти полностью истреблено. Радиация делает полуразрушенные города непригодными для жизни. А за их пределами, по слухам, начинаются бесконечные выжженные пустыни и дебри мутировавших лесов. Но никто не знает наверняка, что там.
    Цивилизация угасает. Память о былом величии человека обрастает небылицами и превращается в легенды. Со дня, когда последний самолёт оторвался от земли, минуло больше двадцати лет. Изъеденные ржавчиной железные дороги ведут в никуда. Стройки века, так и не доведенные до конца, превратились в развалины. Радиоэфир пуст, и связисты слышат только унылое завывание, в миллионный раз настраиваясь на частоты, на которых раньше вещали Нью-Йорк, Париж, Токио и Буэнос-Айрес.
    Минуло всего двадцать лет с того, как это произошло. Но человек больше не хозяин Земли. Создания, рожденные радиацией, приспособлены к новому миру куда лучше него. Эпоха человека подошла к концу.
    Тех, кто отказывается в это верить, совсем немного – всего несколько десятков тысяч. Они не знают, спасся ли кто-то еще, или они – последние люди на планете. Они живут в Московском метро – самом большом из когда-либо построенных противоатомных бомбоубежищ. В последнем убежище человечества.
    Все они оказались в метро в тот день, и это спасло им жизнь. Герметические затворы защищают их от радиации и чудовищ с поверхности, изношенные фильтры очищают воду и воздух. Собранные умельцами динамо-машины вырабатывают электричество, на подземных фермах выращивают шампиньоны и свиней.
    Центральная система управления распалась уже давно, и станции превратились в карликовые государства. Люди на них сплачиваются вокруг идей, религий или просто фильтров для воды.
    Это мир без завтрашнего дня. В нём нет места мечтам, планам, надеждам. Чувства здесь уступают место инстинктам, главный из которых – выжить. Выжить любой ценой.

    Спасибо.
    trust no one

  2. #2
    Завсегдатай chaika's Avatar
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    Re: Please read and check...

    The whole world lay in ruins. Humans are nearly extinct. Radiation makes the ruined cities uninhabitable for humans. ... said, begins an endless scorching desert and patches of mutated

    Civilization is dying.
    Memories of the bygone greatness of humans grow into tales and then into legends.
    More than twenty years ago the last plane left Earth.
    Rusting railroad tracks lead nowhere.

    I can't do any more. Your translation is too full of errors, it is very difficult to fix. It would be easier for me to translate the story from scratch. HTH.

  3. #3
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    Re: Please read and check...

    Quote Originally Posted by chaika
    I can't do any more. Your translation is too full of errors, it is very difficult to fix. It would be easier for me to translate the story from scratch. HTH.
    Thanks, that's all i want to hear )
    trust no one

  4. #4
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    Re: Please read and check...

    You did a commendable job, given the amount of text you have translated, that takes some doing!!!

    There are a couple of glaring mistakes that you can easily do away with and I'd like to call your attention to them.
    For example, if you use a word in the plural, you don't want to use an indefinite article with it:
    A human beings -> Human beings.. or A human being
    Second on the list is that in 80 percent of the time (except for those rare occasions when we say "a world" or "worlds") the word "world" is used with a definite artcile
    Whole world -> The whole world
    Also, with words in the plural we use "are", and in the singular - "is/am"
    Men, who refuse to believe in that, is not... -> Men, who refuse to believe in that, are not..
    Also, don't forget that with countable nouns you use "many/few" (exceptions (see below are very few), and with uncountable nouns - "much/little"

    *exceptions:
    A quick aside: In many American convenience stores with many checkout lanes, you will more likely than not notice a couple of checkout lanes with a plaque that reads "ten items or less", which means that if you have bought a pack of cigarettes, you can avail yourself of this checkout lane and not have to waist your time standing in long lines with people who have picked a great many items. I don't know why they wrote "ten items or less" when it should be "ten items or fewer". But the fact remains

    I suggest you get ahold of a good book on basic grammar, so you can bone up on the basics of English grammar and be aware of common pitfalls that nonnative speakers fall into, and that way you can get rid of at least 50 percent of all your errors in your text and it will do a world of good to your English

    Best of luck to you, man
    Aint it a shame you cant say fu_ck?
    Fu_ck is just a word and it's all fu_cked up.

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