Thread: Difficulties of translating. English / Russian

Originally Posted by Звездочёт

Do not believe Zadornov.

I don't either
Хотя, где-то он прав.

resume

In this case: "Да нет, наверное" - our "Да" expresses a shadow of doubt. It is an indicator of her instantaneous hesitations about "Would I drink coffe?"
This answer sounds less sharp as
1. "Нет / No"
or
2. "I don't need coffy / "Не нужен/надо мне кофе".

If we want to say harder "No" than in 1. and 2. we'll say:
3. "I don't need your coffe at all / "Не нужен мне твой кофе!",

Atenntion, our specification in 2. (нужен/надо) and 3. (нужен, твой) indicates two variants of emotional: either she is annoyed by him (or by his question) or she is bored to have this dialog.

According to sentenses like:
А: Земля квадратная. / The Earth is square
Б: Да нет!!! / No, it is not!!!

Our "Да" gives a bit more emotional shade for answer "Нет / No". It means "What did you say?! It is not be true! / "Да что ты такое говоришь!? Это не может быть правдой!" or more easer with slightly reproach "You are wrong".
_______________________

So our "Да / Yes" in all these cases does not have the meaning "Yes". It gives emotional only.

Да здравствует, великий могучий русский язык.

Originally Posted by ekaterinak

Originally Posted by Звездочёт

Do not believe Zadornov.

I am too

Supposing you want to agree with the original quote, you should say 'I don't either'. You have to mirror the verb (I have - no you haven't; I must - no you mustn't...), and in negative sentences you have to use 'either' instead of 'too'.

Robin

Originally Posted by rockzmom

Peter: Do you want some coffee?
Kate: "Thanks, that's okay." or "Thanks, but I'm good." or "No, not right now."

In the first two, Kate is saying "thank you" which would seem like yes, but she is actually saying no. In the last one, she is saying "no" yet leaving the door open to maybe have some later. BTW, in the second one, the word "but" is often left out when actually speaking.

Let me know if I missed your point here.

In your 1. and 2. variants Kate answers about coffe at all, not about her desire (wish) of drinking that coffee. It is a reason of her "No" in this variants, isn't it? In 3 variant she replays 'Maybe I will drink coffe later'. It is halfway between "No" and "Yes"

Originally Posted by bitpicker

You have to mirror the verb (I have - no you haven't; I must - no you mustn't...), and in negative sentences you have to use 'either' instead of 'too'.
Robin

Thank you Robin

The Russian idiom "на (во) всю Ивановскую"
the automatic translation is "on the whole Ivanovo"

Long ago in the Moscow Kremlin there was a square called Ivanovskaya.
The place was often crowded, it was often full of people. They were making bargains, discussing latest news and gossiping here.
This place was instead of modern radio, TV, newspapers. Public criers proclaimed tsar’s edicts loudly in this square.
Ivan the Great's bell tower has been standing here too. The thirty bells of it rung on holidays. Like this http://rutube.ru/tracks/1140611.html

Their sound could be heard very far from here. Russian Language has the expression «на (во) всю Ивановскую» from these days. It means “with all one's might” or “shout at the top of one's voice” or “to make something public”.
Btw, everybody can say about this forum that it sounds «на всю Ивановскую»/loudly (or something like this "The posts of MR are well-known")

I know that a definition of correct form of Russian verb is a difficult task for foreigners. Believe me, English tenses is not less difficult for us. But English and Russian languages have one common thing which can make our efforts easier.
I think about infinitive form of Russian and English verbs.

For example:
to draw – рисовать, тянуть, чертить
to read – читать
to write - писать
Do you see that English “to”=Russian ending of verb “ть”?
If you remember this property you will be able to create Russian sentences which have two semantic verbs.
The first of them is the verb “want”. Any next verb after it will have an infinitive form of Russian verb.

For instance:
We want TO write and TO read. / Мы хотим писаТЬ и читаТЬ. (писать, читать are the infinitive)
I want TO read any novels. / Я хочу читаТЬ любые романы. (читать is the infinitive)
They want TO buy that house. / Они хотят купиТЬ тот дом. (купить is the infinitive)

Actually this little crib* can be used with many other Russian verbs.
*) If you have two semantic verbs in one sentence, than the second of them is an infinitive of Russian verb.

For instance:
They hate TO bite and TO fight. / Они ненавидят кусаТЬся и драТЬся.
We try TO leave. / Мы пытаемся уехаТЬ
You plan TO pay for this. / Ты планируешь (за)платиТЬ за это.

But remember, the crib has some exclusions! It is always correctly for verb “want”.

A continuation of my preceding post. I'd like to tell about 'some exclusions' of the crib.
___________________________
One of these exclusions is the verb “enjoy”.
All Russian verbs which are following “enjoy” are a verbal noun/отглагольное существительное in Instrumental case. English language uses gerundive form too. Please, don’t forget about Instrumental case and your Russian will be ok.

For example:
I enjoy reading. (not I enjoy TOread) – Я наслаждаюсь чтением (not Я наслаждаюсь читаТЬ)
Чтение/reading is a verbal noun of the verb “читать”. The “чтением” is the Instrumental case of it

I enjoy drawing (not I enjoy TO draw) – Я наслаждаюсь рисованием/черчением(not Я наслаждаюсь рисоваTЬ/чертиТЬ)
Рисование/черчение/reading is a verbal noun of the verb “рисовать/чертить”. The ‘рисованием/черчением’ is the Instrumental case of it.

There is a good book: http://www.kodges.ru/2008/03/16/malyjj- ... a-115.html. In this book explains many of simple rules how to build a different forms of verbs.
it also exists in audio format.

Originally Posted by FedorV

There is a good book: http://www.kodges.ru/2008/03/16/malyjj- ... a-115.html. In this book explains many of simple rules how to build a different forms of verbs.
it also exists in audio format.

Это первый автор, который сумел донести до меня смысл английской грамматики. А Вы знаете что-либо подобное для изучения русского языка?

Не-а, грамматика в русском меня не интересует, экзамены сданы в школе, все забыто ((

Lucky Max

When I was a child I liked dogs very much. I liked their selflessness, devotion and courage. I had a thought: “It would be great to have such a wonderful friend!” I liked two dog breeds much better than others. These were the German shepherd and the Cocker spaniel. The first seemed to me an ideal bodyguard, and I admired the Cocker spaniels’ beauty and cheerful temperament. It is not easy to have a dog in a big city so my family postponed a purchase of a pet from one year to the next.
All at once, there was an unforeseen event. One of our friends phoned us and offered a cocker spaniel that was one year old. Its owners were moving into another city and they couldn’t take their dog. The dog would be abandoned on the street. Having discussed the matter, we decided to take in this little dog. I was rejoicing! I thought: “I will be an owner of a dog and it will be the bread of my dream!”
Several days later we brought the dog called Max home. He had intelligent brown eyes, a nose like a small button, fluffy paws, long, soft ears. The color of the dog was light red like the color of gold. In addition, he had a short tail and he could wag it very fast. The tail was as an exact indicator of Max’s mood. When Max was happy he did a little dance on all four paws, and his tail wagged as fast as the wings of a dragonfly. When something alarmed him he stood at attention like a soldier in front of a general, and his tail was still.
Max’s charm did not leave anyone indifferent, and very soon all my neighbors knew my dog by name. Having seen him, strangers said: “What a cheerful doggy! What a gold little dog!”
I took him on the Moscow subway a couple of times. There was no doubt that he was frightened by unusual noise. But my Max found a witty way out of that situation: he copied the behavior of the passengers around us in a carriage. He jumped up on the passenger’s seat next to me, sat down and looked around proudly. If he had had a newspaper in his front paws he would have seemed a real human. People observing us seemed to be touched by the scene. Children were smiling shyly. The looks of even the grumpiest-looking adults mellowed. I bet that some passengers decided to get a dog. My Max proved that he is a real aristocrat!

Actually, Cocker spaniels are real aristocrats! It is one of the oldest hunting breeds. The homeland of ancestors of the dogs is Spain. The breed was created in 15-16th centuries there. The English word ‘spaniel’ was formed by the Spanish word ‘espanol’. so you can read it in the name of the breed even nowadays.
Though spaniels were breed specially for hunting, there was a period when these dogs were not used as assistants for hunters and were used as a decoration of palaces and castles. It is said that the appearance of Cocker spaniels was the most beautiful in that period.
Initially, only one breed of Cocker spaniels existed. It was divided into two breeds in 19th century and difference was based upon weight.
There are three well known kinds of Cocker spaniels in Russia. They are called the English, The American and the Russian Cocker spaniel.
Modern Cocker spaniels are superb hunter with excellent sense of smell. Obviously, any borders of countries and difficulties of translation are not obstacles for these dogs, so they are very popular all over the world.

When I look at my dog I think: ‘Well, Hello, my devoted friend is a Spanish aristocrat from England who was born in Russia!’/ Каждый раз, когда я гляжу на свою собаку, мне хочется сказать: "Ну, привет, мой преданный друг - испанский аристократ из Англии, который родился в России!"

I will be grateful for correcting of my English

I liked two dog breeds much better than others.

so my family postponed a purchase of a pet from one year to the next.

One of our friends phoned us and offered a cocker spaniel that was one year old.

Its owners were moving into another city

The dog would be abandoned.

I will be an owner of a dog and it will be the breed of my dream!

Several days later we brought the dog called Max (to) home.

The colour of the dog was light red like the colour of gold.

In addition, he had a short tail and he could wag it very fast.

Though(,) (the breed is hunting) spaniels were bred specially for hunting, there was a period when these dogs were not used as assistants for hunters

There are three well known kinds of (the) Cocker spaniels in Russia.

The names of the kinds are an English, an American and a Russian Cocker spaniel. -> They are called the English, the ...

Modern Cocker spaniels are (a) superb hunters

It is obvious(,) that any borders of countries and difficulties of translation(s) are no(t) obstacles for these (kinds of) dogs, so they are very popular all over the world. Or: Obviously, any borders...

The text is very good!

Robin

Originally Posted by ekaterinak

The colour of the dog was light red...
... and very soon all my neighbors knew my dog by name.

Either color (en-us for the entire text) or neighbour (en-uk).

Thank you very much Robin, for correcting of my English. Очень признательна!

Originally Posted by vox05

Either color (en-us for the entire text) or neighbour (en-uk).

Thank you for the remark. I looked at my dictionary and chose US variant, because I think that grammar of US English is easier than British. Though, British pronunciation is more understandable for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRnNMsfLyPI
"As I sat sadly by her side"
by N.cave

As I sat sadly by her side
At the window, through the glass
She stroked a kitten in her lap
And we watched the world as it fell past
Softly she spoke these words to me
And with brand new eyes, open wide
We pressed our faces to the glass
As I sat sadly by her side

She said, "Father, mother, sister, brother,
Uncle, aunt, nephew, niece,
Soldier, sailor, physician, labourer,
Actor, scientist, mechanic, priest
Earth and moon and sun and stars
Planets and comets with tails blazing
All are there forever falling
Falling lovely and amazing"

Then she smiled and turned to me
And waited for me to reply
Her hair was falling down her shoulders
As I sat sadly by her side

As I sat sadly by her side
The kitten she did gently pass
Over to me and again we pressed
Our different faces to the glass
"That may be very well", I said
"But watch the one falling in the street
See him gesture to his neighbours
See him trampled beneath their feet
All outward motion connects to nothing
For each is concerned with their immediate need
Witness the man reaching up from the gutter
See the other one stumbling on who can not see"

With trembling hand I turned toward her
And pushed the hair out of her eyes
The kitten jumped back to her lap
As I sat sadly by her side

Then she drew the curtains down
And said, "When will you ever learn
That what happens there beyond the glass
Is simply none of your concern?
God has given you but one heart
You are not a home for the hearts of your brothers

And God does not care for your benevolence
Anymore than he cares for the lack of it in others
Nor does he care for you to sit
At windows in judgement of the world He created
While sorrows pile up around you
Ugly, useless and over-inflated"

At which she turned her head away
Great tears leaping from her eyes
I could not wipe the smile from my face
As I sat sadly by her side

I think about this song something like that:

All of us try to find their own way. This journey is hard and we must remember that any road starts with the short first step. The road could be easier if we did not forget to help each other. If somebody cannot help it means that he or she is still standing in front of her or his first step, thinking that they are masters already. Those persons who reproach as if they were the judges are weak. It is because to make talking is easier than doing something.

It exists in the world. One part of people thinks like that women; another part thinks like that man. The first part is too pragmatic (almost as a cynic); the second part is too out of touch with realities. And both of them are blind and doing nothing, because all what they need is their immediate needs.
The heroes of the song do only one important and right thing to each other. They force to change their blind points of view to see more than they can see now. Maybe it is their first step to become better.

I suppose that the song is the questions: “What should people do? What can people do? Who are right or wrong? Why are they wrong? Why are they right? What are they right or wrong in? Where is the truth? And so on like these”
I did my own interpretation of the song in Russian.
My heroes are arguing as well. The man is too self-confident. He says that there are no miracles in this world. The women cannot disagree with him, but she cannot believe in his point of view. She is too out of touch with realities. Man’s logic is something like that: “Look! It is a coin and it has only two sides. If I throw it on the ground, you will see only one of them. It is the fact!” Then he threw the coin. He was sure that either one side of the coin would be or another. But the coin chose the third way. There was the edge!

I will be grateful for correcting of my English

Ребро*
o том, что делают циники и романтики, и что предлагает жизнь

«Мир черно-белый,
В нем нет радуги!» –
Я спорил с тобою
Об этом до хрипоты.
В том споре ты выдавала на руки
Причины своей правоты.

Я думал тогда…
Нет! Мне казалось…
Что аргументы мои хороши.
«Смотри,» – я сказал:
«Вот монета,
В ней только две стороны:
Куда не подкинь –
Иль «янь», или «инь»».

Твой голос дрожал:
«Нет! Я не верю!» – воскликнула:
«Что небо бывает только цвета земли!»
Я кинул монету в окно,
Уверенный, что не проиграл.
Глядел на тебя – потерянную,
И улыбаясь, ждал.

Мгновение – жребий решен:
Та монетка
Покружила по улице и замерла.
После чего – оба,
Растерянно, мы глядели в окно…
Вы – не поверите!..
Там было – ребро!

10-11 октября 2009 г.
by Katerina K.
_________________________________
* ) Put question point-blank = Ставить вопрос ребром

The movie “Russian translation” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian...28TV_series%29 ) was created thanks to a book “Journalist” by Andreij Konstantinow (the real name is Andreij Baconin). The book was published in 1996 and it is based on a real story. Some facts of the book happened with the author of the book who was working during 1984-1991 as a translator. His working years included a period when he was working in Yemen and Libya.
The main hero of the movie is a young translator, Andrey Obnorskij. In 1985, he was sent to the Aden (the capital of Yemen) for his Arabic language practice. This year was the last year of his studying at the university. The hero met with the complex situations there. The reason of them was the fact that Yemen was on the brink of a war. After several years he was sent into another country, Libya. And there he found himself in the center of an another war conflict again.
In spite of the fact that movie describes events which is close to policy I would say that mostly the movie is about a human life and feelings which a decent person can have living in the hard time.

One of the first scenes of the movie begins with the attempt of the hero to speak in Arabic with an Arab man at the Aden airport. And the hero was not understood at all. His speech sounded strange at least! It was like that because he was learning the Literary Arabic language which is not equal to many of spoken varieties of Arabic. Of course some his practice removed this error.
The original scenario had not had any dialogs in Arabic. But the director of the movie decided that his movie would be brighter and closer to the real events with using the language. It was supposed that phrases of the scenario would be translated into Arabic and then they would be written down (???transliterated???) by Russian letters. And those texts would be memorized and reproduced by the Russian actors. It was a difficult task, of course. And the consultants, war translators had a very difficult question: which spoken varieties of Arabic did they have to use?
Inhabitants of each Arab country, city, and region speak in their own spoken dialect. These dialects differ from one territory to another. They look like kindred but almost independent languages which don’t have own writing form.
As a result they selected a variety of the language which the Arabic East had in those years. And as the hero was improving his skills inside of the movie story his language was changing as well. The variety of the Arabic language which was used in the movie has a Palestine dialect accent.
The Arabic language was used in the movie so often that it would be correct to say that Arabic became one of the main hero of the movie as well.

And there were some curious facts which are connected with the movie.
Having read the scenario, the government of Libya didn’t allow making a movie in Libya.
Yemen government invited the team of the movie very much but as the situation in Yemen was not safe the part of movie was making in Tunisia.

The music for the movie was created by Igor Korneljuk (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_Kornelyuk ). He used an oriental style for the music. I have to mention that some years ago he performed songs as a singer and he was pretty popular in Russia. Now he often works like a compositor.
The music for the movie was so good that the invited consultant who was an Arab asked the director to record this wonderful music for him. And the consultant was extremely astonished when he learned that the music had been created by the person who is very far from oriental culture. (http://www.korneluk.ru/kino.php ).
Among the movie music is a song which you can hear with the subtitles in the beginning of the movie. It is a rap and it was the first Korneljuk’s rap experience.

The song is here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrXy5...eature=related

The letter / Письмо
music by Igor Korneljuk
words by R.Lisits
Performance by Pavel Ostroumov & Nina Vedenina

Я приеду, я приеду, я приеду домой
И расскажу тебе всё на свете.
Но когда это будет: зимой, весной?
Мне никто не ответит.

Думал, скоро вернусь,
Боюсь, что это не светит.
Ничего, я держусь, но очень жарко,
И ветер обжигает висок.
Я ненавижу пустыню – этот жёлтый песок.
Он никогда не остынет!
Ни мозги, ни тела не могут выдержать это.
Вот такие дела. Такое вечное лето!

Это ладно, а тут недавно,
Самолёты кружили и непонятно, главное,
Где свои, где чужие.
Спасибо, кто-то сказал:
«Парень, не делай резких движений»
Я-то раньше не знал, что люди – просто мишени.
Да… пока не забыл, моё здоровье в порядке.
Я всегда говорил, всё будет тихо, мирно и гладко.
Я всё смогу. Я – такой! Тебе не надо бояться
Тебе нужен покой, (тебе нельзя) тебе нельзя волноваться.

Припев:
По небу кружит листопад,
(По небу кружит листопад).
И разве кто-то виноват,
(И разве кто-то виноват),
Что ты оставил уходя
(Другие сны), другие сны
(Под шум дождя), под шум дождя
Ложатся капли на стекло
(Ложатся капли на стекло)
И лишь одно произошло
(И лишь одно произошло)
Что на излёте сентября
(Я вижу сны), я вижу сны
(Не про тебя), не про тебя.

Сегодня третье число
Всё хорошо, я – везучий.
К тому же, время прошло,
Оно любого научит
Ни о чём не жалеть,
Иначе туго придётся,
И никогда не смотреть
На раскалённое солнце.
Иногда самолёты пролетают над нами,
И тогда, сразу, кто-то вспоминает о маме.
Я уже не из тех, кто сейчас падает первый,
Но вообще-то у всех, у нас, натянуты нервы.
Привыкать привыкаю думать и дышать по-другому,
Но скучаю безумно по тебе и по дому.
Это – обычный синдром
По вечерам, на закате
Ушел бы, к чёрту, пешком,
Да только силы не хватит.
Моё второе письмо
Вчера вернулось обратно,
Может, всё – ничего,
А может, что-то – неладно.
Невозможно понять,
Что это всё означает:
На конверте печать –
”Такие не проживают”

Припев:
(…)

Я приеду, я приеду, я приеду домой…

In English

I will come, I’ll come, I’ll come home
And tell to you all.
But when will it happen: in winter, spring?
Nobody will give an answer

I’ve thought I would be back soon,
But I’m afraid it will not promise to be like that.
I’m ok I don’t loose a hope, but it is very hot here
And wind scorches the temple.
I hate a desert, this yellow sand!
It’ll never get cold!
Neither brains nor bodies can bear this.
It’s my life here. It’s such an eternal summer!

It doesn’t important. Recently
Plans were circling in sky over us and it was fairly incomprehensible
Which ones were ours and which were enemies’.
Thanks to anyone who told me:
“Guy don’t make any jerk”
I had not known before that people are targets.
And till I don’t forget to tell you I say “I’m well”
I have always said everything would be quite, peaceful and ok.
I will do everything. I’m such a courageous man! You don’t have to fear.
You need quiescence, you don’t have to worry.

Refrain:
Fallen leaves are circling in the sky
(Fallen leaves are circling in the sky)
And is somebody guilty,
(And is somebody guilty)
That when you was coming away you left
(The other dreams) the other dreams
(Under rain noise) under rain noise?
Drops are falling on the glass
(Drops are falling on the glass)
And only one thing has happened
(And only one thing has happened)
That by the end of the September
(I see dream pictures) I see dream pictures
(Which don’t have you) which don’t have you.

Today is third day.
Everything is good, I’m lucky.
In addition the time flew by
Which teaches anyone
Not to regret anything
Otherwise you will have difficulties,
And never to look at
The incandescent sun.
Sometimes plans fly over us
And then, at once someone recall his mother.
I am not already among those who fall down first being smote to deaf.
I’m accustoming to be used to think and breathe in another way.
But I miss you and the house terribly.
It is a usual syndrome:
Each evening, at sunset
To have a wish to walk away
But I know that I will not have power enough.
My second letter
Returned yesterday.
Maybe you are ok,
And maybe something is bad.
It is impossible to understand
What all of it means:
There is a stamp with the inscription
On the envelope:
“Such persons don’t live here”

Refrain:
(…)

I will come, I’ll come, I’ll come home…

I will be very much obliged for correcting of my English

This song in English has some difficulties.

And so I did an interpretation of it, to try and make sense of what is going on in the life of the protagonist in the song.

And this is something like in vernacular English. I hope this makes some sense to you, and anyone reading it. It's like I repainted the picture a little. So it's not exactly literal.

In English.

I will return. I’ll come, I’m coming home.
To tell you everything.
But when, I ask, in winter or in spring?
I cannot say.

I thought I’d be back before now.
But it doesn’t look like I’ll be back soon.
I’m well, I still have hope, but it’s very hot here.
And the wind scorches the temple.
I hate this desert, its endless yellow sand.
It never cools off.
Neither body nor soul can bear this.
This is my life here. It is eternal summer.
Those are just passing details though.
Recently, planes circled over us in the sky.
It was impossible to tell which were ours and which were enemy.
I’m still breathing, thanks to the fellow that said, “Man, don’t move a muscle!”
I hadn’t known before that people were their targets.
But I won’t forget to tell you “I’m well”.
I thought everything would be quiet, peaceful, and fine.
I will do all that is set before me.
And strive to maintain courage, so that you have nothing to fear.
You need peace. Please don’t worry.

refrain
Falling leaves circle in the sky.
And someone is to blame.
For when you went away,
You left our dreams dissolved by rain.
Rain falls against my pane.
(Rain falls against my pane.)
Something striking has befallen us
(Something striking has befallen us)
For by September’s end, my dreams were bereft of you,
(my dreams were bereft of you.)


This is the third day.
Everything is fine, I’m well.
And the time flies by
That teaches all
To regret nothing,
Else you will have pain.
And never look at
The burning sun.
Occasionally, planes fly passed.
And out of the blue, someone will recall his mother.
I thank my stars I am not among those already struck dead.
This is all so different from how we used to think and feel.
And I miss you and everyone there terribly.
Every day’s the same:
Each evening at sunset
The wish to fly away takes me.
But I know I don’t have the strength.
My second letter to you
Returned yesterday.
Perhaps you are well,
Or perhaps something is wrong.
I cannot tell.
The letter came back with
“Return to sender. Addressee unknown.”

Refrain.

I will return. I’ll come, I’m coming home.

Originally Posted by Seraph

And so I did an interpretation of it, to try and make sense of what is going on in the life of the protagonist in the song.
It's like I repainted the picture a little. So it's not exactly literal.

Thank you very much Seraph for your interpretations of the song. I am not a native English speaker but it seems to me that your lines have rhymes. Definitely your translation is an another creation/poem. Thank you very much. It was interesting to read.

I have just remembered an amusing dialogue which I saw in a book. I don’t remember the name of the book but the book was an autobiography of a translator. The translator described a case which had happened with his daughter.

The daughter had been talking to somebody:
Somebody: Do you know who my favourite poet is? It is Gottfried Benn!
The daughter: Do you read his works in German?
Somebody: No, I read it in Russian.
The daughter: It means that your favourite poet is my father.

The falling leaves were the dreams and plans falling from the tree that was their love. And that is why someone was guilty. Someone killed their love, the tree that was their love.

The rain fell against his "pane" I picked pane for this, to sound like pain. Pain is his window on the world now.

Originally Posted by Seraph

The falling leaves were the dreams and plans falling from the tree that was their love. And that is why someone was guilty. Someone killed their love, the tree that was their love.

The rain fell against his "pane" I picked pane for this, to sound like pain. Pain is his window on the world now.

Thank you very mauch Seraph for the comments. I liked the idea with the words "pane" and "pain" It seems to me that the lines obtained a deeper meaning. Thank you