Thread: Please correct my translations

Please correct my translations. Thanks!
P.S. I have no clue about punctuation in English and I'm not into it at the moment, so please don't correct it.

Температура в молнии может достигать 30 000 К, что в пять раз выше, чем температура поверхности Солнца — 6 000 К.
The temperature of a bolt of lightning can reach 30,000 degrees of Kelvin, that is 5 times more than the temperature of the Sun's surface, which is 6,000k.

В сельской местности Норвегии при фермах можно встретить магазины со свежими овощами и другими домашними продуктами, в которых нет продавцов. Покупатель сам выбирает, что ему нужно, подсчитывает на калькуляторе сумму и оставляет деньги, взяв при необходимости сдачу.

In the Norwegian countryside you can see shops with fresh vegetables and handmade goods where no sellers work. The customer himself chooses what he needs, counts the bill on a calculator (calculates the bill) and leaves the money, taking change if needed.

Общее количество биологических видов, обитающих на нашей планете, оценивается учёными в 8,7 млн., а открыто и классифицировано из них на данный момент не более 20% от этого числа. Причём если число описанных наземных растений составляет 72% от максимума, то у наземных животных этот показатель равен 12%, а у грибов — 7%.

The total number of species living on Earth is estimated by sсientists to be 8.7 million. However only 20% of them have been discovered and classified. Moreover, if the number of known plants living on the land is 72% of the maximum, then the number of land animals is 12% and mushrooms, 7%.

Масса капли дождя во много раз больше массы комара при сопоставимых размерах. Именно это, а также волоски на всей поверхности тела, приводит к очень малой передаче импульса от капли к комару, что даёт насекомым способность выживать под дождём. При попадании капли на комара возможны два сценария: если удар приходится не по центру, насекомое немного вращается и летит дальше; иначе капля ненадолго увлекает комара за собой, но тот довольно быстро освобождается.

The weight of a raindrop is much more than the weight of an equal sized mosquito. This fact, and the fine hairs all over his body leads to a really small transfer of impact from a raindrop to a mosquito, which gives them an opportunity to survive under the rain. When a raindrop hits a mosquito there're 2 scenarios possible: if the strike hits not in the center, the insect rolls a bit and continues flying. Otherwise the raindrop pulls him down, however he gets free quickly enough.

Создатели телесериала «Звёздный путь» в своё время столкнулись с тем, что для поддержания зрительского интереса нужно постоянно показывать риск и гибель персонажей. Но так как убивать главных героев слишком накладно, решили жертвовать второстепенными, которые постоянно сменялись. Вскоре зрители заметили тенденцию — герои в жёлтых и голубых рубашках всегда преодолевали испытания, а персонажи в красных рубашках неизменно умирали. Впоследствии смерть «краснорубашечников» стала правилом для многих других фильмов и сериалов, в числе которых и «Остаться в живых».

Creators of the "Star Treck" series faced at the time a need to provide interest to viewers of showing danger and death to the characters. Killing the main characters was too expensive, so they decided to sacrifice other ones, who have been replaced constantly. Soon the audience noticed the trend - heroes, wearing yellow and blue shirts, got over the challenges and heroes, wearing red ones, died without a chance. Afterwards the death of these "redshirters" has been changed into a rule for many other movies, including "Lost".

Во время второй мировой войны немцы построили специальный концлагерь Stalag Luft III для захваченных в плен летчиков союзников. В основном это были англичане и американцы. Заключенные совершили один из самых крупных побегов в истории. В рытье 4 тоннелей принимало участие более 250 человек. Самый длинный тоннель "Гарри" был длиной в 102 метра и проходил на глубине 8,5 метров. Это было сделано для того, чтобы немцы, использующие специальные микрофоны, не услышали звук подкопа. Также заключенные заглушали рытье подкопа спортивными занятиями и хоровым пением. Они тщательно готовились к побегу - для всех были изготовлены документы и пошита гражданская одежда. В тоннеле ходила вагонетка и были проложены вентиляционные трубы. Их сделали из молочных бидонов.
После побега немцы проведут полную инвентаризацию и выяснят, что для реализации своего смелого плана заключенные использовали 4 000 кроватей, 90 двухярусных нар, 635 матрасов, 192 покрывала, 161 наволочку, 52 двадцатиместных стола, 34 стула, 76 скамейек, 1212 постельных валиков, 1370 досок, 1219 ножей, 478 ложек, 582 вилки, 69 ламп, 246 канистр, 30 лопат, 330 метров электрического кабеля, 200 метров веревки, 3424 полотенца, 1700 одеял и 1400 жестяных банок из под сухого молока.
24 марта 1944 года сбежать удалось только 76 заключенным. Практически всех их поймают. 50 из них расстреляют. До своих удалось добраться только троим. А в 1963 году об этом побеге снимут фильм.

During the World War II the Germans built special concentration camp called Stalag Luft III for captured pilots, mostly Brits and Americans. Prisoners performed one of the most famous runaways in history. More than 250 people took part in digging 4 tunnels. The longest one, "Harry" was 102 meters long and passed at a depth of 8.5 meters to prevent Germans, using special microphones, from hearing the sound of digging. Sport studies and choir helped as well. They were prepared to flee - papers and civil clothes were produced for everybody. A trolley went through the tunnel and vent pipes made from milk cans were laid.
Afterwards the Germans would make inventory and discover that to make all this possible prisoners used 4000 beds, 90 plank-beds, 635 mattresses, 192 veils, 161 pillowcases, 52 tables 20 persons each, 34 chairs, 76 benches, 1212 bed rolls, 1370 boards, 1219 knifes, 478 spoons, 582 forks, 69 lamps, 246 jerry cans, 30 shovels, 330 meters of electric cable, 200 meters of rope, 3424 towels, 1700 blankets and 1400 tin cans of dry milk.
On the 24 of march 1944 only 76 prisoners managed to escape. Almost everyone was captured. 50 of them were shot down. Only three reached allies. In 1963 a movie about the runaway was made.

It seems to me you have done a very good job on these translations. Minor spelling points:contryside countryside mashrooms mushrooms.

Just some minor things about articles:

"Moreover, if a number of known plants, living on the land..." => Moreover, if the number of known plants living on the land...


"...then the number of living on the land animals is 12%..." => then the number of land animals is 12%...

"The weight of a raindrop is much more than a weight of an equal sized mosquito." =>...more than the weight of...

"This fact, and fine hairs all over his body leads..." => ...and the fine hairs...

Translation is difficult because of matters of personal taste in composition. This shows up in different ways to word things. People have different preferences about how to word things.

For example:
“The creators of the "Star Track" series at the time faced with a need of showing danger and death to the characters to provide interest of customers. But since killing the main characters was pretty expensive, they decided to sacrifice other ones, who have been replaced constantly. …”

There are minor points that appear to be incorrect here. But it does not sound 'natural'.

=>

The creators of the "Star Treck" series faced at the time a need to provide interest to viewers by showing danger and death to the characters. Killing the main characters was too expensive, so they decided to sacrifice other ones, who have been replaced constantly.

FYI
Mushroom is usually used in singular form
Я поел грибов - I have eaten mushroom
Plural form is used if you talk about many kinds of mushroom thus it is correct in your sentence but rarely used

I wonder if this is some kind of regional preference. In the speech of most English speaking people I know, people often use plural:

They ate some mushrooms. I hate mushrooms. She gathered mushrooms. There were mushrooms growing on the lawn. He likes just one kind of edible mushroom, not the other kinds of known edible mushrooms.

"...one of the most famous runaways..." runaways => escapes allys => allies

The temperature of a lightning bolt
30,000 degrees Kelvin
more than the temperature
6,000K
the Norwegian countryside
goods where
The customer
calculates the bill
The total number of species living on Earth
if the number of
plants living
of themaximum
animals living on land is 12% and mushrooms, 7%.

re mushroom/mushrooms, I think Doomer is not a native speaker of English. I have never heard anyone say "I have eaten mushroom." It's always mushrooms.

Originally Posted by chaika

re mushroom/mushrooms, I think Doomer is not a native speaker of English. I have never heard anyone say "I have eaten mushroom." It's always mushrooms.

I'm not native English speaker
Thank you for correction

Thank you for your replies.
1. Why "THE customer"? ah because he is a customer of a shop in the Norwegian countryside?
2. How would you translate "постельный валик"? bed roller?

2. How would you translate "постельный валик"? bed roller?

=> bedroll, bed roll, or bedding roll

В островном тихоокеанском государстве Ниуэ, где проживает примерно 1400 человек, на всей территории доступен бесплатный доступ в интернет через Wi-Fi. Обеспечивает это компания, которая выкупила у Ниуэ право на администрирование домена .nu. Такие домены популярны для сайтов в нескольких европейских странах, так как в шведском, датском и голландском языках nu означает «сейчас».

Niue is an island state of the Pacific Ocean with a population (of) around 1400 people. Free wi-Fi is available all over the territory and provided by a company, which bought out the right to maintain the domain '.nu' from Niue's government. Such domains are popular for websites in several European countries because in Swedish, Danish and Dutch 'nu' means 'now'.


Осьминоги считаются самыми умными среди всех беспозвоночных и умнее даже некоторых позвоночных животных. Например, они могут различать геометрические фигуры, привыкают к кормящим их людям, поддаются дрессировке и даже становятся ручными. Осьминоги тщательно заботятся о чистоте своих жилищ, «подметая» их струёй воды и складывая отходы снаружи в мусорную кучу.

Octopuses are considered to be the smartest among all invertebrates and even smarter than some vertebrate animals. For example, they are able to recognize geometrical figures, get used to people feeding them, can be trained and even become pets. Octopuses thoroughly maintain the cleanliness of their homes, "sweeping" them with a water stream and dumping their garbage outside.


Всемирно известная швейцарская торговая марка пишущих принадлежностей Caran d'Ache была названа в честь карикатуриста Эммануэля Пуаре. Он работал во Франции, но родился и закончил гимназию в Москве, а свой псевдоним Caran d'Ache образовал от простого русского слова «карандаш», записав его на французский манер.

The world known trademark of writing accessories "Caran d'Ache" was named in honor of caricaturist Emmanuel Puare. He worked in France but was born in and graduated from a college in Moscow. The alias "Caran d'Ache" was made from a simple Russian word "карандаш", written in a French style (transliterated into French).


Высочайший город мира — Ла Ринконада в Перу — расположен на высоте 5 099 метров над уровнем моря. Здесь живут 30 000 человек, большая часть которых занята добычей золота. Многие шахтёры работают бесплатно в течение месяца, а в последний день им разрешается взять столько руды, сколько они могут унести на своих плечах. При этом ещё неизвестно, будет ли в руде золото или нет. Однако Ла Ринконада ещё не самое высокое постоянное поселение на Земле. Существует две индийских деревни, которые находятся на высотах 5 170 и 5 219 метров.

The highest town of the world - La Rinkonada in Peru - is located at an altitude of 5099 meters above sea level. 30,000 people live there, most of whom mine gold. Many miners work free during the month and on the last day they are allowed to take out as much ore as they are able to handle. And you never know whether there is some gold inside or not. However La Rinkonada is not the highest constant settlement on Earth. There are two Indian villages at altitudes of 5170 and 5219 meters.


У ящериц-гекконов отсутствуют веки, поэтому они вынуждены периодически смачивать специальную прозрачную мембрану на глазах своим языком. А перепончатолапые гекконы, обитающие в пустынях Намибии, используют эту особенность и для обратного процесса. Почти каждое утро на дюны здесь опускается туман, после которого на глазах ящерицы конденсируется жидкость. Затем геккон её слизывает, чтобы утолить жажду.

Gecko lizards have no eyelids, therefore they have to wet the special transparent membrane on the(ir) eyes with their tongue. And webbed-footed gecko(n)s, living in the Namibian deserts, use this condition (technique) for the reverse process as well. Almost every morning fog falls on the dunes and causes liquid to condensate (condense) on the eyes. Then the gecko(n) licks it off to quench its thirst.

Niue is an insular pacific state with a population (of) around 1400 people. Free wi-Fi is available all over the territory and provided by a company, which bought out the right to maintain the domain '.nu' from Niue's government. Such domains are popular for websites in several European countries because in Swedish, Danish and Dutch 'nu' means 'now'.


Octopuses are considered to be the smartest among all invertebrates and even smarter than some vertebrate animals. For example, they are able to recognize geometrical figures, get used to people feeding them, can be trained, and even become pets. Octopuses thoroughly maintain the cleanliness of their homes, "sweeping" them with a water stream and dumping their garbage outside.

The world known trademark of writing accessories "Caran d'Ache" was named in honor of caricaturist Emmanuel Puare. He worked in France but was born in and graduated from a college in Moscow. The alias "Caran d'Ache" was made from a simple Russian word "карандаш", written in a French style.

The highest town of the world - La Rinkonada in Peru - is located at an altitude (I think altitude sounds better here) of 5099 meters above sea level. 30,000 people live there, most of whom mine gold. Many miners work free during the month and on the last day they are allowed to take out as much ore as they are able to handle. And you never know whether there is some gold inside or not. However, La Rinkonada is not the highest constant settlement on Earth. There are two Indian villages at altitudes of 5170 and 5219 meters.

Gecko lizards have no eyelids, therefore they have to wet the special transparent membrane on the eyes with their tongue. And webbed-footed geckons, living in the Namibian deserts, use this condition for the reverse process as well. Almost every morning fog falls on the dunes and causes liquid to condensate on the eyes. Then the geckon licks it off to quench its thirst.

‘insular pacific state’ or ‘island pacific state’ or ‘island state of the Pacific Ocean’

The original translation is correct, but might be met with a little confusion.
‘Pacific’ is sometimes used as a simple adjective, meaning peaceful, and so putting in full avoids confusion. Insular also means isolated, so writing as ‘island’ avoids this confusion. Land locked states in the middle of Asia can also be described as insular, though not islands. I’m just pointing out that ‘insular pacific state’ can also mean ‘isolated peaceful state’.

‘World wide known trademark…’

There are several ways to say this, including but not limited to:
The world-renowned trademark of…
Known the world over, the trade mark of …
Known world wide, the trade mark of…

…simple Russian word "карандаш", transliterated into French.

…on their eyes with their tongue…
And web-footed geckos, living…
…use this technique for the reverse process…
causes liquid to condense on the eyes
the gecko licks

Маяковский подарил своей возлюбленной Лиле Юрьевне Брик кольцо с её инициалами — «Л Ю Б». Будучи расположенными по кругу, эти буквы складывались в бесконечное «ЛЮБЛЮ».

Vladimir Mayakovsky gave his beloved Лиле Юрьевне Брик a ring with her initials - «Л Ю Б». Being shaped as a circle, these letters construct a never ending word «ЛЮБЛЮ».


Туз по-английски называется «ace», что, в свою очередь, происходит от старофранцузского слова «as» со значением «единица». Исторически туз в игральной колоде имел самое низшее значение и обозначался знаком 1, однако со временем он, наоборот, стал доминирующей картой. А в таких играх, как покер или блэкджек, игрок сам может выбирать значение туза — как самое старшее или как единицу. Большое влияние на продвижение туза вверх оказала французская революция — он стал символизировать главенство обычного человека над королями. Помимо карт, слово «ас» стало применяться и к людям, достигшим высшей степени мастерства в своей профессии.

Туз is called 'ace' in English. This, in its turn, originates from an old fashioned French word 'as' which means 'one'. Historically an ace in a deck of cards had the lowest rank and was marked by '1'. However, it eventually reversed its role, to become a dominating card.. In such games as poker or blackjack a gamer can choose ace's value himself - either the highest or the one. The French revolution caused the ace to become more highly valued - it started symbolising superiority of ordinary people over kings. Aside from cards, the word 'aс' started applying to people, who reached the highest level of skill in their profession.


В последние годы жизни Эрнест Хемингуэй стал депрессивным и раздражительным, уверяя родных и друзей, что за ним повсюду следят агенты ФБР. Несколько раз писателя лечили в психиатрической клинике, откуда он тоже звонил друзьям, говоря, что в палате расставлены жучки, а их разговор прослушивают. Под воздействием электрошока он утратил способность писать и формулировать свои мысли, как мог делать это раньше. Наконец, 2 июля 1961 года Хемингуэй застрелился из ружья в своём доме. Несколько десятилетий спустя в ФБР был сделан официальный запрос о деле писателя, на что пришёл ответ: слежка и прослушивание имели место, в том числе в той психбольнице, так как властям показалась подозрительной его активность на Кубе.

In his later years Ernest Hemingway was very depressed and irritable, telling his family and friends that he was haunted (or followed, or under surveillance) by FBI everywhere. A few times he was treated in a psychiatric clinic whence he called friends saying that listening devices were set in his chamber and his conversations were monitored. Being under influence of an electric shock therapy, he lost his ability to write and formulate thoughts as he could do previously. Finally, on the 2nd of July 1961 Hemingway shot himself at home. A few decades later an official request to FBI about this case was made. The answer was: extensive surveillance had occurred, including at that clinic, because authorities had seemed his activity in Cuba suspicious.


С 2002 года в Нидерландах можно сделать пирсинг глазного яблока. С помощью специальной процедуры в него вживляется драгоценное украшение в виде какого-либо символа, например, сердца или звезды. В настоящее время такая операция стоит 750 евро.

Since 2002 you can make a piercing of your eyeballs in Netherlands. Using special technique, a jewel of any shape, for example, a heart or a star can be implanted. Nowadays this surgery costs 750 euro.

Some possible other wordings (I can't really say corrections, because I don't always know what is wrong).

However, it eventually reversed its role, to become a dominating card.

The French revolution caused the ace to become more highly valued - it started symbolising superiority of ordinary people over kings.

In his later years Ernest Hemingway was very depressed and irritable, telling his family and friends that he was [haunted = followed = under surveillance] by the FBI everywhere.

A few times he was treated in a psychiatric clinic whence he called friends saying that listening devices were set in his chamber and his conversations were monitored.

Being under the influence of electro-shock therapy, he lost his ability to write and formulate thoughts as he could do previously.

The answer was: extensive surveillance had occurred, including at that clinic, because authorities had deemed his activity in Cuba suspicious.