Thread: What don't you like about Russia?

Originally Posted by Friendy

Why, why the following questions were not included in перепись населения:
1)How many pairs of doors are in your подъезд?
2)Do you have a metal front door in your flat?
3)How many front doors are there in your flat?

May be all I'll say are concern only to my country but--.
4) Have you got a metal hatch on your windows?
5) How many guns are registered on you?

Originally Posted by BJ

Should I carry my own extinguisher and breathing mask? Will they allow me in through customs with such equipment?

Also I strongly recommend you to pick up a toilet paper, and don't forget to put it all down into custom declaration.

Originally Posted by BJ

I'm very worried about visiting Russian now because of this position over push-me pull-you doors. How can I be sure I'm in a building that has adequate fire exits? Should I carry my own extinguisher and breathing mask? Will they allow me in through customs with such equipment?

You need not worry about those things at all - in Russia we have the highest safety standards in the world. In the unlikely event of a fire you won't have the time to say Jack Robinson before it's been automatically extinguished. All buildings (including tool shacks and traditional countryside latrines) are equipped with sensetive smoke detectors - there have been cases of foreign visitors inadvertantly setting off smoke detectors in Russian buildings because of their dirty (by Russian, definately not by Western standards) socks and underwear - you can be sure that our smoke detectors are very sensetive indeed. Once smoke has been detected, cutting edge technology in the form of laser guided water and foam nozzles (depending on the cause of fire, which too is determined automatically by sophisticated software) will make short work of anything from the tiniest of sparkles to the greatest of conflagrations.

Originally Posted by Indra

In all old Soviet dwelling houses (is it right word for "жилой дом"?) doors were built to be pushed in the flat, in order to be easily broken from outside. Do you know why? It was made to make it easier to police and KGB to break into the flat.

What kind of nonsense is that? All over Europe doors in private houses and apartments open inside. If there is a trace of brain in your head, you may even understand why (which is doubtful, though).

Police and criminals. It's pointless to argue about fire safety.

Get you head examined.

Originally Posted by bad manners

All over Europe doors in private houses and apartments open inside. If there is a trace of brain in your head, you may even understand why (which is doubtful, though).

Now I am intrigued.
Is it in oder not to hit somebody while opening the door? But why is it more important than the fire safety?

Originally Posted by Friendy

Now I am intrigued.
Is it in oder not to hit somebody while opening the door? But why is it more important than the fire safety?

Shame on you! It's a well known fact, especially for BM.

Originally Posted by BETEP

Originally Posted by Friendy

Now I am intrigued.
Is it in oder not to hit somebody while opening the door? But why is it more important than the fire safety?

Shame on you! It's a well known fact, especially for BM.

What is a well-known fact? That hitting-with-door thing?

Originally Posted by Indra

This is the Russian mentality in house-building Police and criminals. It's pointless to argue about fire safety.

What kind of nonsense is that? Do you know what the second most important thing beside the door itself is? The hinges the bloody door bloody hangs on! You can install 10 doors but if the hinges are made of dog's poo the doors will simply be ripped off of the bloody things. First thing those who fear criminals would do is reinforce their hinges, they would not install 20 armour-plated security doors, I repeat they would not install 20 armour-plated security doors.

Originally Posted by Friendy

Originally Posted by bad manners

All over Europe doors in private houses and apartments open inside. If there is a trace of brain in your head, you may even understand why (which is doubtful, though).

Now I am intrigued.
Is it in oder not to hit somebody while opening the door? But why is it more important than the fire safety?

Because if you start hitting your fellow citizens with your door, these good fellows may one day prop your door from the outside and put your house on fire, and there goes your fire safety.

More generally, doors that open outside may be easily blocked, by evil will (as in the example above), or simply by a natural event such as a heavy snowfall.

Conversely doors that open inside may be reinforced from inside.

It is also a lot more convenient to enter through a door that opens inside when you carry something heavy.

Doors that open outside do not really improve fire safety in private houses, simply because they often have to be unlocked before you can open them -- and if your head is so cool that you remember to unlock the door, you can probably pull it open.

Originally Posted by Friendy

What is a well-known fact? That hitting-with-door thing?

Not so fast, lady. Could you wait for BM's starting up imagination?

3 and counting.

Altercations like this are why they introduced swinging doors in western saloons and gun control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm, you've got a point there, bad manners. But I distinctly remember reading some official paper (part of the general safety standards code I believe) that said that doors should be pushed to open, not pulled, otherwise there are chances that people will stampede each others guts out.

It could be that in Europe, where rules of everyday social conduct are strongly enforced, people are not allowed to panic in most social situations (they may face an immediate court martial for "instigation" if they let out as much as a squeak) while in Russia people are actually encouraged not to supress their powerful Russian souls but to give full vent to their emotions using various forms of elaborately grotesque vocalization and gesticulation, that is why there is always a chance that some may lose their footing and crash to the floor and chaos may immediately ensue.
Also, when there's as many as three embibing individuals locked in the confines of a typical Russian apartment, the air around them may become highly flammable. That is why fire safety has always been one of the top priorities in Russia.

Notice that I always said private houses/apartments. Private doors are still installed in the traditional way, mostly. Those who want more security install reinforced doors in reinforced frames, which still mostly open inside.

I have a double entry door to my flat. The outside door opens to the outside and my inside door opens to the inside.

Fire Safety? HA,HA,HA! I live on the 22 floor and the fire stairs are always locked. Even if they were open we wouldn't use them because once you get in the stairwell the doors to each floor are locked and the exit at the bottom is bolted shut from the outside. The stairs have no lights or windows and are full of garbage. This is the same for my friends flats in other parts of the city. Our fire plan is to chug a bottle of vodka so we pass out before we burn to death.

Originally Posted by JB

I have a double entry door to my flat. The outside door opens to the outside and my inside door opens to the inside.

Fire Safety? HA,HA,HA! I live on the 22 floor and the fire stairs are always locked. Even if they were open we wouldn't use them because once you get in the stairwell the doors to each floor are locked and the exit at the bottom is bolted shut from the outside. The stairs have no lights or windows and are full of garbage. This is the same for my friends flats in other parts of the city. Our fire plan is to chug a bottle of vodka so we pass out before we burn to death.

And what does that mean? Nothing except that you and your neighbours are insane. You know what's in for you should a fire start yet you don't care. Best of luck, you'll need it.

Originally Posted by bad manners

Originally Posted by JB

I have a double entry door to my flat. The outside door opens to the outside and my inside door opens to the inside.

Fire Safety? HA,HA,HA! I live on the 22 floor and the fire stairs are always locked. Even if they were open we wouldn't use them because once you get in the stairwell the doors to each floor are locked and the exit at the bottom is bolted shut from the outside. The stairs have no lights or windows and are full of garbage. This is the same for my friends flats in other parts of the city. Our fire plan is to chug a bottle of vodka so we pass out before we burn to death.

And what does that mean? Nothing except that you and your neighbours are insane. You know what's in for you should a fire start yet you don't care. Best of luck, you'll need it.

Indeed she is insane. Or been chugging that bottle of vodka...

JB
We have regular fire drills - all residents practice leaving the house in a quick and orderly manner. I personally keep a set of climbing ropes I can use in case I need to absail from my window - I test them at least once every three months. Fire safety is on top of everyone's list of priorities. I don't know about Moscow, but something's telling me that you're inventing, as usual. I think fire safety regulations are even tougher in Moscow nowadays than they are in St Pete, what with the terror alert and all.

Think VM, ropes would catch fire. Surely you mean you use a metal chain ladder!!

Maybe this is what doors in Russia are like?

Originally Posted by BJ

Maybe this is what doors in Russia are like?

What cheap image editor did you use? I don't even have to magnify it to see the artefacts.

Sorry, I'm an amateur - copied it from www.jokes.pp.ru/