Thread: Russian-American differences

Originally Posted by mike

I've noticed that passersby say "How are you doing?" and "How's it going?" as a greeting rather than a real question...

I can't stand that habit myself. It bugs me. More than once, I've started to answer, even just to say "ok" or "fine" or something meaningless like that but whoever it was had already passed before I could get even that out. Insincere politeness is just rude.

Originally Posted by Moryachka

Insincere politeness is just rude.

Without it I think New England would violently implode. I prefer rude honesty myself. Many people IRL can call me an asshole, but none will say I am a liar.

Originally Posted by Moryachka

Originally Posted by mike

I've noticed that passersby say "How are you doing?" and "How's it going?" as a greeting rather than a real question...

I can't stand that habit myself. It bugs me. More than once, I've started to answer, even just to say "ok" or "fine" or something meaningless like that but whoever it was had already passed before I could get even that out. Insincere politeness is just rude.

True, my Russian friends get mad when I answer "kak dela" with "horosho". They say when asked a question, you have to expand on your answer...
-Fantom

Originally Posted by mike

Originally Posted by Moryachka

Insincere politeness is just rude.

Without it I think New England would violently implode.

The midwest, too. Texas, however, is filled with bastards and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This is the rudest freaking place I've ever been. As a highly repressed yankee I find myself vacillating between finding the Texas Culture of Assholery liberating, and wanting to deck the next person who butts in front of me in the grocery store checkout. Were I to give into the violent urge, the two extremes of emotion would be perfectly combined...catharsis through kidney-punching.

If we put outside a difference between city and country yes, Russians keep more isolated to strangers. But when you know each other, they are much more friendly than americans. The same thing goes with the smile. You can hear newbie Russians in America complain: They smile like idiots all the time.

Or: Be careful with those bastards, they can smile to you, but still they do not give a shit about you.

The difference is: Russians smile only to friends, they really like you if they smile to you. Being polite is to keep neutral face. For Americans being polite is to smile.

That may create a common misunderstanding between Russian males and American females. She smiles to him, he thinks that she really like him, into him. The same way he considers her politeness, which ends up with Russian guy thinking afterwards: "American Women are strange and all bitches, first she shows that she interested in you, then she acts like I wanted to steal her money"

I generalise this, but the main idea is like that. If a stranger in Russia says hello to you, he wants something from you.

Originally Posted by Pioner

The same thing goes with the smile. You can hear newbie Russians in America complain: They smile like idiots all the time.

Here is special Russian proverb: "Смех без причины - признак дурачины", "Smekh bez prichiny - priznak durachiny" (Laughter without a reason is sign of a fool).

Well, smile is not laughter yet

May be they smile because they are content with their lives? Just happy how it is going..

For Americans being polite is to smile.

If smiling shows only politeness, how is fondness showed?

Smiling sincerely .

-->

Right, and Russians do not catch it, for them it is just a smile. When we (Russians) smile, we mean it.

I'm Russian. Once walking the street (I was 5, and it was a nice summer day) I had an odd idea to greet some old woman passing by.
I just liked her face. She stopped, smiled to me mildly and said: "You are mistaken, my dear. You don't know me".
I felt very confused.
Since that I NEVER say hellow to strangers without a reason.
(That was a true lesson of russian manners ).

Originally Posted by Indra

For Americans being polite is to smile.

If smiling shows only politeness, how is fondness showed?

She will show you cleavage.

Originally Posted by mariashara

I'm Russian. Once walking the street (I was 5, and it was a nice summer day) I had an odd idea to greet some old woman passing by.
I just liked her face. She stopped, smiled to me mildly and said: "You are mistaken, my dear. You don't know me".
I felt very confused.
Since that I NEVER say hellow to strangers without a reason.
(That was a true lesson of russian manners ).

LOL! Poor 5 year old! Maybe its the frigid weather that keeps strangers cold to one another.

Originally Posted by siberiangoddess

Originally Posted by Indra

For Americans being polite is to smile.

If smiling shows only politeness, how is fondness showed?

She will show you cleavage.

Only women are polite in America?

Originally Posted by siberiangoddess

Originally Posted by mariashara

I'm Russian. Once walking the street (I was 5, and it was a nice summer day) I had an odd idea to greet some old woman passing by.
I just liked her face. She stopped, smiled to me mildly and said: "You are mistaken, my dear. You don't know me".
I felt very confused.
Since that I NEVER say hellow to strangers without a reason.
(That was a true lesson of russian manners ).

LOL! Poor 5 year old! Maybe its the frigid weather that keeps strangers cold to one another.

It's just another mentality.

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Originally Posted by siberiangoddess

Originally Posted by Indra

For Americans being polite is to smile.

If smiling shows only politeness, how is fondness showed?

She will show you cleavage.

Only women are polite in America?

LOL! As to the men, well, the men will whistle or stare at you incessantly, perhaps not always at your eyes. But I suppose that is a universal practice with men, not just Americans.

Originally Posted by Rtyom

Originally Posted by siberiangoddess

Originally Posted by mariashara

I'm Russian. Once walking the street (I was 5, and it was a nice summer day) I had an odd idea to greet some old woman passing by.
I just liked her face. She stopped, smiled to me mildly and said: "You are mistaken, my dear. You don't know me".
I felt very confused.
Since that I NEVER say hellow to strangers without a reason.
(That was a true lesson of russian manners ).

LOL! Poor 5 year old! Maybe its the frigid weather that keeps strangers cold to one another.

It's just another mentality.

I suppose that's part of the reason Americans are considered rude elsewhere... Americans tend to be forward even with strangers, perhaps excessively so.

"NEVER TALK TO STRANGERS"
Bulgakov M. " The Master and Margarita"