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Thread: Another Translation Exercise

  1. #1
    Почтенный гражданин impulse's Avatar
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    Another Translation Exercise

    Привет!

    Сегодня я ещё раз попытался текст с английского языка на русский. Пожалуйста проконтролируйте его. Я надеюсь, у меня нет много ошибок. Спасибо за потраченное время.


    Orginal Text

    A girl from England takes an IQ test. She gets 162 points. It is the top of the test. You cannot get more higher than that. She is very clever.

    Her family is very surprised. They knew she was clever but they didn’t know that she was the best. They cannot believe it.

    The girl is only eleven years old, but she has big dreams. She knows what she wants. In the future, she wants to be the governor of a bank or a Prime Minister.

    Перевод:

    Одна дедушка из Англии сдала IQ тест. Она получилася 162 очка. Оно высший счёт в тесте. Вы не могуте получиться более высший счёт чем его. Она очень умная.

    Её семья очень удивлен. Они знала что она умная но они не узнала что она была наилучшая / самая лучшая. Они не могу поверили это.

    Девушке только/просто/всего одинадцать лет, но у её большие мечты. Она знаете что как она хочет. В будущем, она хочет стать дректор одного банка или премьер-министер.
    Иди и учи русский!

  2. #2
    Властелин iCake's Avatar
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    Привет!

    Сегодня я ещё раз попытался перевести текст с английского (языка) на русский (You may omit языка there). Пожалуйста, проконтролируйте его. Я надеюсь, у меня немного ошибок (у меня нет много ошибок is okay too but the style isn't that good Also, я надеюсь, что я сделал/допустил мало ошибок (допустил sounds more formal)). Спасибо за потраченное время.

    Одна девушка (дедушка is an old man or grandpa ) из Англии сдала IQ тест. Она получила 162 балла (Очки are mostly used to describe "sports" points, and баллы are used to describe "educational" points). Это высший балл (высший балл is a set phrase and you don't need to specify what these top points are of, because it's crystal clear because of the context). Вы не можете получить балл выше этого (выше чем этот is okay too but we tend not to use чем when we can replace it with genetive case). Она очень умная.

    Её семья очень удивилась. Они знали, что она умная, но (они) не знали (better to omit the second они though, kind of redundant), что она самая лучшая. Они не могут поверить в это.

    Девушке только/всего одиннадцать лет, но у неё большие мечты. Она знает, чего хочет (Она знает, что ей нужно would be better though). В будущем она хочет стать директором банка или премьер-министром.

    Here you go
    impulse likes this.
    I do not claim that my opinion is absolutely true.
    If you've spotted any mistake in my English, please, correct it. I want to be aware of any mistakes to efficiently eliminate them before they become a habit.

  3. #3
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    A girl from England takes an IQ test. She gets 162 points.

    Why takeS and getS. Isn't it supposed to be past? Is it common in english?

  4. #4
    Старший оракул Seraph's Avatar
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    That is called 'historic present', I learned it from my Russian textbook. Textbook was discussing story in Russian using this technique. Story by Михаил Мишин. So it exists in Russian and English.
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  5. #5
    Paul G.
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    Quote Originally Posted by impulse View Post
    Пожалуйста проконтролируйте его.
    In fact, we don't say like that. "Проконтролировать" something or someone means "to watch/control how something/someone acts/works/makes/proceeds etc". So, when you wrote "проконтролируйте его" it sounds like we have to look after your text as if it were your son and you're afraid that something bad can happen to him if he's not under control. Or we need to control how you're writing your text. In Russian "контролировать" usually implies a process, not a static object. I know, comrade iCake didn't pay attention to this aspect before, so you do as you do.
    I guess it would be more proper to say "Пожалуйста, проверьте его". Actually, we make so-called "разбор текста". You can use it as well: "Пожалуйста, разберите мой текст".
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  6. #6
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    >>That is called 'historic present', I learned it from my Russian textbook. Textbook was discussing story in Russian using this technique. Story by Михаил Мишин. So it exists in Russian and English.

    I think it sounds another way in russian, though still interesting.

  7. #7
    Почтенный гражданин impulse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paul G. View Post
    In fact, we don't say like that. "Проконтролировать" something or someone means "to watch/control how something/someone acts/works/makes/proceeds etc". So, when you wrote "проконтролируйте его" it sounds like we have to look after your text as if it were your son and you're afraid that something bad can happen to him if he's not under control. Or we need to control how you're writing your text. In Russian "контролировать" usually implies a process, not a static object. I know, comrade iCake didn't pay attention to this aspect before, so you do as you do.
    I guess it would be more proper to say "Пожалуйста, проверьте его". Actually, we make so-called "разбор текста". You can use it as well: "Пожалуйста, разберите мой текст".
    Thank you. I also know a statement like this: Проверьте себя

    I think this means control yourslef. Like when there is an exam and after the exam teacher tells the answers and says maybe Проверьте себя. Right?

    The dictionary says "разбирать / разобрать" means disassemble. So разбор текста means something like check text word by word?
    Иди и учи русский!

  8. #8
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    я думаю, разобрать в выражениях "разобрать двигатель" и "разобрать текст" имеют несколько разные значения. Disassemble - это, скорее, "разобрать двигатель". А разобрать текст - to do a work to understand what is the text about. I don't think the text is supposed to be disassembled.
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  9. #9
    Властелин iCake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pushvv View Post
    я думаю, разобрать в выражениях "разобрать двигатель" и "разобрать текст" имеют несколько разные значения. Disassemble - это, скорее, "разобрать двигатель". А разобрать текст - to do a work to understand what is the text about. I don't think the text is supposed to be disassembled.
    I second that. Разобрать текст doesn't mean to check a text word by word. It means to examine a text in detail. Like trying to determine which style it is in, why it's written like that, why it's written with these particular words and not others in a particular sentence or sentences, etc.

    Alternatively, you can say разобрать текст слово за словом and this would mean to examine text word by word.

    Quote Originally Posted by impulse
    Thank you. I also know a statement like this: Проверьте себя

    I think this means control yourslef. Like when there is an exam and after the exam teacher tells the answers and says maybe Проверьте себя. Right?
    Sort of, проверьте себя in that context means more like - Check your work for mistakes.

    As for проконтролируете его thing, I didn't much like it the first time I had written that. It's just you made a mistake having written something like контролируте он or else, so I concluded it would be better not to deviate much from the original sentence and due to that I came up with проконтролируете его, which was understandble but kind of awkward though. I agree with what Paul said about that verb
    impulse likes this.
    I do not claim that my opinion is absolutely true.
    If you've spotted any mistake in my English, please, correct it. I want to be aware of any mistakes to efficiently eliminate them before they become a habit.

  10. #10
    Почтенный гражданин impulse's Avatar
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    Thanks alot for the explanations.
    Иди и учи русский!

  11. #11
    Властелин maxmixiv's Avatar
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    In IT world, "to parse" is translated as "разбирать". HTH
    "Невозможно передать смысл иностранной фразы, не разрушив при этом её первоначальную структуру."

  12. #12
    Почтенный гражданин pushvv's Avatar
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    in IT world, we do not translate parse usually. Обычно таки парсеры парсят...

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