Thread: Анекдоты, шутки, шуточные стишки, истории - смешные или не очень

"You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.’

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.’

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.


A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.’

A young son asked: 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied: 'That happens in every country, son.’

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.’

Originally Posted by Lampada

"You have choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

Ролик с кино-комедии "Любовь и смерть" (Woody Allen, 1975).

"Панч-лайн" -- Я не хочу выйти замуж, никогда... хочется просто разводиться!

(I'm not sure if I translated the absurdism properly into Russian...)

ЗЫ: And from the same movie, on the subject of marital love and faithfulness... (0:24 - 0:44 = COMEDY GOLD: "A Turkish cavalry officer cast aspersions on your honor -- that you were sleeping around. But I knew he was lying, that you are pure!")

Originally Posted by Throbert McGee

Я не хочу выйти выходить замуж, никогда... хочется просто разводиться!

(I'm not sure if I translated the absurdism properly into Russian...)

I would suggest "... я хочу сразу развестись".