Thread: Jokes in Russia

If you want to hear some Russian jokes (personally, I think Russian jokes are the best), go to http://www.anekdot.ru/

Most of the jokes are bad, since a lot of stupid people write them, but once in a while really good ones pop up.

It's one of my favorite resources for Russian jokes. I used to visit it pretty often, but unfortunately it has a lot of bad jokes. So, it gets kind of boring with time. Still that is a good one!

In USA a computer that can estimate future has been developed. Developers decided to show it to Bush. Bush is asking the computer:
When will Third world war begin?
Computer: In 2010 year.
Bush: How much will Coca-Cola cost in USA after the war?
Computer: Five roubles.

tu-160, I love that joke, it had me in stitches

—Мам, а что такое „поц“?
—Где ты это услышал, сынок?
—Да в школе, сказку Пушкина читали: „И днём и ночью кот учёный, всё ходит, поц… и „пи“ кругом.“

-How much does this parrot cost?
-Seven hundred dollars.
-Why so expensive?
-He knows all secrets of CIA.
-And how much that one?
-One thousand dollars.
-Why?
-He knows all secrets of KGB.
-And how much does third one cost?
-Two thousand dollars.
-And whose secrets does he know?
-I really don't know. But first two parrots call him chief!

Originally Posted by Tu-160

In USA a computer that can estimate future has been developed. Developers decided to show it to Bush. Bush is asking the computer:
When will Third world war begin?
Computer: In 2010 year.
Bush: How much will Coca-Cola cost in USA after the war?
Computer: Five roubles.

LOL!!

altho i didn't luagh outloud. it had some commic relief. altho if the russians invaded, i think most of america wouldn't sit back like france, or iraq when they were occupied or had evil rulers. i think people would get together with their friends, loud up their guns, put twigs in their hair run around in the woods with face paint on call themselves the wolveriens and try to beat back the russkies, really though. as good as our military is, if our manland was even invaded, i think the enemy would get a worse time from our civilians, 2 out of every 3 people has a gun of some sort, or knows somone who has a gun, and as civilians, we are not obligated to take prisoners, kill em all *rat rat tat the sound of my gat* i don't even know where i was going with this, it was a joke. (god, i' such an american) ... ok ok what is the diffrence between khazakstan and georgia they only have adver*connection lost*...

i guess my internet is still working after all, oh, and please... nobody make a post about how the french resistance was a huge aid to the allies, beacuase. it wasn't "Oi Oi kamrades ve hav vatered down sie german beer supplies, oi oi viva la risistance ! " serosuly,i could blow up phone line and derail trains here at home, cmon how hard could it be.

Originally Posted by Dogboy182

i think people would get together with their friends, loud up their guns, put twigs in their hair run around in the woods with face paint on call themselves the wolveriens and try to beat back the russkies, .

What movie was that dog boy.

actually it was grand theft auto 3. that game probly has the funniest dialouge i have heard. laslo is the best.

Hmm, I remember a move from years ago, I probably would have been about 8, where the soviets did invade the US, and that some group of people, I think they where a hokey team or somthing, staged some resistance.

You silly american, Russia doesn't attack peaceful countries. This joke is about american invasion.

Tu, Americans see things the way they want to see them, not the way things actually are.

The ability to look at your own actions from an impartial view seams to be a rear gift for an American, and it seams, increasingly rear for Australians as well.

hm? i think it was about invading america... why else would we say 5 rubles? russia invaded america... what, i think u are confused. this is stupid.

To me it sounds like the joke does not specify who actually initially invaded, just that Russia won.

maybe they took over the world muahahah