Thread: The funniest thing YOU've ever said...

Learners of Russian: do you recollect the funniest mistake you've made in Russian? I remeber myself saying, while describing (in the class) autumn in Russia:

В сентябре начинаются половые работы...

Naturally, I meant полeвые работы but at first I didn't notice the mistake. It was only after the teacher (a young WOMAN) & some of my friends burst out laughing, did I get but quickly

lol

Well, the most embarrassing thing I ever said, was on my first trip to Russia. At uni we had been studying Polish alongside Russian, and interference between the two languages did occur. I had been fetched from Sheremetyevo airport by two guys I didn't know, and on the long car journey that followed, I was telling them about my mother, and I said: "Моя матка" this, and "моя матка" that... Anyhow I was happily chattering away in my very basic Russian, and I noticed the two guys giving each other weird glances. Then one of them said, "you really shouldn't use the word матка... " That evening I nearly died when I looked up the meaning of матка in my dictionary.

either calling a girl Красивый, giving myself feminine attributes on accident, and i STILL continue to say Искаю !! GAR ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ

Originally Posted by Dogboy182

i STILL continue to say Искаю !! GAR ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ

Не переживай Dogboy182. Моей дочке - 2 годика, и она тоже говорит "искаю" )))

Я учу английский, и на одном из занятий нам нужно было придумать предложение типа if I... I would
Я сказал примерно следующее "If I were an animal I would be a big black hawk". Я даже руки немного развел, как крылья, что бы показать какой я большой ястреб. И тут увидел, что у преподавателя (он англичанин) рот начал медленно открываться , а глаза - округляться... Оказывается из-за моего произношения ему послышалось не hawk, а hog )))))))))
Что-то подобное было у меня и с crap/crop ))

Не переживай Dogboy182. Моей дочке - 2 годика, и она тоже говорит "искаю"

Ага, а она я также наверное говорит лучше

Originally Posted by Alexander

Originally Posted by Dogboy182

i STILL continue to say Искаю !! GAR ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ ИЩУ

Не переживай Dogboy182. Моей дочке - 2 годика, и она тоже говорит "искаю" )))

It is a good sign when children make that kind of mistake. It shows their brain is actively seeking grammatical patterns.

The most embarassing thing I have said:
(in an introductory letter to a Russian girl)
Привет, я шестьдесятилетний парень из США....

The funniest thing I've heard from Dogboy was "читипошка"

Originally Posted by Alexander

Что-то подобное было у меня и с cr@p/crop ))

Ну, а уж про beaches/bitches лучше и не заикаться Или про sheet/shit

Trying to explain that we had 13 year old exchange students from Penza stay with us I typed:

Я имею 13-летнего друга в Пензе

and they responded with "How terrible", "What a Monster", etc.

I found out later "имею" was not the right word to use, as it had other meanings in Russian.

Originally Posted by tcc

Я имею 13-летнего друга в Пензе

and they responded with "How terrible", "What a Monster", etc.

I found out later "имею" was not the right word to use, as it had other meanings in Russian.

Друзей не надо иметь, с ними надо дружить.

When I just started studying English 2 years ago there was a Turkish guy in my class who had no idea about Christian denomination. One day he asked a teacher: "What is a pedestrian?" The teacher was explaning it to him for a long time, but there was still a confusion on his face. Finally he said: "So I still didn't get - why is this church across the street called First Pedestrian Church?"

In the dorm of Moscow university I was riding an elevator with a student from Africa. He was very friendly and said to me smiling:"Этот лифчик очень хороший". I was shocked and left the elevator bursting with anger. Later on I found out from my friend that they were studing Russian diminutives that day and he just wanted to show off how good he is with it. "Этот лифтик очень хороший" that's what he wanted to say.

And where are you from originally, Chubby?

Pravit, from Astrakhan - It's on Caspean Sea. And you?

Once I translated "porter" as насильник instead of носильщик

Originally Posted by Victor

Once I translated "porter" as насильник instead of носильщик

whoopsidaisy