Thread: советские военные песни

Originally Posted by Ramil

To me, this is probably the most touching song I've ever heard. Nobody knows whom it was dedicated to and it became known by its first line (Бьётся в тесной печурке огонь):

Софье Кревс	To Sofia Krevs
Бьётся в тесной печурке огонь,	Fire flickers in the wood burning stove
На поленьях смола, как слеза,	A drop of tar shines like a tear
И поет мне в землянке гармонь	The accordion rings through my dugout,
Про улыбку твою и глаза.	Your smile and your eyes seem so near.
Про тебя мне шептали кусты	In the snow-covered fields around Moscow,
В белоснежных полях под Москвой.	The weeds rustle your name in my ear
Я хочу, чтобы слышала ты,	I wish you could hear, in person,
Как тоскует мой голос живой.	How my voice sounds and longs for you here..
Ты сейчас далеко-далеко.	Right now, you are far, far away.
Между нами снега и снега.	Endless snow lies between you and me
До тебя мне дойти нелегко,	It’s not easy to reach you. No way.
А до смерти — четыре шага.	Whereas death is as close as can be.
Пой, гармоника, вьюге назло,	Sing, accordion, in spite of the storm,
Заплутавшее счастье зови.	Bring me happiness from up above.
Мне в холодной землянке тепло	And the chill of my dugout seems warm
От моей негасимой любви.	From the undying flame of my love.
А. Сурков, Ноябрь, 1941	Alexey Surkov, November, 1941

I didn't know that you could use table formatting here -- cool!

Anyway, there were just a couple of grammar or usage mistakes that simply had to be fixed (in red) -- you can't say "under Moscow," for instance, unless you're talking about a subway train! And I made several other "poetic suggestions" in blue. For example, it seemed a shame to lose the imagery of the bushes/grass/weeds still alive although buried under the snow. And негасимая любовь immediately brought to mind the "eternal flame" that burns by war memorials -- not to mention the 1989 song by The Bangles! (The word "eternal" didn't fit the meter, but "undying" sounds just as strong and emotionally evocative here.)

No, no, no.
1) The translation isn't mine
2) The translation is actually poetic it kept the rhythm and rhymes of the original so you could actually sing it in English.

Here, try the English text I posted - it perfectly fits the original and a melody:

Originally Posted by Ramil

No, no, no.
1) The translation isn't mine
2) The translation is actually poetic it kept the rhythm and rhymes of the original so you could actually sing it in English.

Understood, but even so, using "vast" as a noun (as in "vast of snow") sounds very archaic -- not merely устаревший, mind you, but старинный -- and would seem like an error to modern English listeners (today, "vast" is used only as an adjective).

"Under Moscow" is much too over-literal a translation of под Москвой in this context -- to an English listener, it sounds like you're talking about THIS:



Also, "drops of tar look like somebody cries" (with the verb in the "simple present") sounds very awkward and ESL-ish. It would be okay to say either "drops of tar look like somebody is crying" or "...like somebody has been crying", but that would ruin the rhyme with "eyes" in the fourth line, and also destroys the rhythm.

And no English speaker would say "you are currently far, far away" in the context of a love-ballad -- it's much too uncolloquial, and made me think of a conversation between an airplane pilot and an air-traffic controller!

I listened to the song, and most of my suggestions will also fit the rhythm of the melody. But I would change two of my lines for an improved fit:

Flames dance in the wood-burning stove.

I wish you could hear now, in person.

All right, maybe it was a bad translation. At first I wanted to translate it myself, but right after I'd stumbled upon "в тесной печурке" I decided to google for a translation. I wonder if it really possible to express this in English. Small stove, yeah. Want to do something well? Do it yourself, I guess:

Fire flickers in a small stove
A drop of tar on the wood looks like a teardrop
And harmonica's singing to me in my dugout
About your smile and your eyes.

Bushes whispered me about you
In the snow-white fields near Moscow,
I wish you could hear
My voice still alive and longing for you.

You are far, far away,
Endless snows separate us,
It's not easy to reach you,
But death is only four steps away.

Sing, harmonica, in spite of the snowstorm,
Call for my happiness that must have gone astray,
I feel warm in my cold dugout
Because of my never ending love.

Еще одна отчаянная попытка перевода. На сей раз издевалась я над песней Барон фон дер Пшик

[В скобках - "комментарии" бэк-вокала, с ними интересней ]

Барон фон дер Пшик
Покушать русский шпик
Давно собирался
и мечтал.

Любил он очень шик,
Стесняться не привык,
Заранее о подвигах
кричал.

Орал по радио,
Что в Ленинграде он,
Как на параде он
И ест он шпик.

Что ест он и пьёт,
А шпик подаёт
Под клюквою развесистой
мужик.

Барон фон дер Пшик
Забыл про русский штык,
А штык бить баронов
не отвык. (Дурак!)

И бравый фон дер Пшик
Попал на русский штык,
Не русский, а немецкий
вышел шпик!

Мундир без хлястика,
Разбита свастика,
А ну-ка, влазьте-ка
На русский штык!

Барон фон дер Пшик,
Ну, где твой прежний шик?
Остался от барона
Только пшик! (Капут!)
(Оч-чень хорошо!)


Baron von der Pshik
Was dreaming and planning
for a long time to eat russian sowbelly

He loved swank so much
Wasn't a modest person
Yelled about a feats in advance

He yelled by the radio
That he is in Leningrad
Like he is at a parade
And he's eating a sowbelly

That he eats and drinks ,
And a mad delivers a sowbelly
Under a spreading cranberry

Baron von der Pshik
Forgot about the Russian bayonet
But a bayonet didn't wean
To hit a barons (fool !)

And brave von der Pshik
Was hit with russian bayonet
And russian sowbelly became german!

A coat without a half-belt
Broken swastika
Come on, climb
On Russian bayonets !


Baron von der Pshik ,
Well, where is your former swank?
Remained from Baron
Only "zilch" ! ( Kaput! )
( Very good! )

Все сильно плохо?

Originally Posted by Nuraa

Еще одна отчаянная попытка перевода. На сей раз издевалась я над песней Барон фон дер Пшик

Барон фон дер Пшик
Покушать русский шпик

This one definitely has some words ("шпик" and "пшик") and phrases ("Под клюквою развесистой") that are difficult to translate into colloquial-sounding English for a general American audience.

So, I took some liberties with the changes suggested in blue.

Baron von der Shmuck
Was dreaming and planning
For a long time to try our Russian-style bacon

He loved to look swank
Wasn't a modest person
Yelled about his derring-do in advance

He yelled on the radio
That he is in Leningrad
Like he is at a parade

And he's eating Russian bacon
That he eats and drinks ,
And a guy "in roosky peasant drag"
Brings out his bacon.

Baron von der Shmuck
Forgot about the Russian bayonet
But our bayonets haven't forgotten
How to stick barons!

And brave von der Shmuck
Was hit by a Russian bayonet
Now HE'S "Bacon-on-a-stick, à la kraut"!

His uniform's badly torn,
The swastika is broken!
Go ahead, mein Herr -- have a seat
On a Russian bayonet!

Baron von der Shmuck,
Well, where is your former swank?
What's left of the Baron?
Only "zilch" -- Kaput!

Because "фон дер Пшик" is meant to be a joke-name, I changed it to "von der Shmuck," although "von der Zilch" or "von der Putz" also sound appropriate.

In some regions of the States, we do use "шпик" or "сало" in cooking -- it's usually called "fatback". However, most Americans aren't familiar with шпик/сало/"fatback" as a dish by itself. So I changed it to "Russian bacon," because everyone knows what "bacon" is.

And "мужик под клюквою развесистой" is a very idiomatic phrase, of course, so it can't be translated literally. Here it basically means "a guy who looked and dressed like the German Baron's stereotypical idea of a Russian." So to translate it for an American audience, I would suggest "in peasant drag" or "decked out in roosky togs", or something like that. (Note, by the way, that "in [XYZ] drag" is simply a slangy way of saying "in a costume of [XYZ] type," or "wearing clothes typical of people from [XYZ]-stan, etc.", and does NOT imply трансвестизм -- although the phrase "drag queen" is, of course, connected to the use of "drag" as slang for "costume.")

Although the imperative влазьте-ка literally means "climb on," I thought that "go ahead, sir, have a seat" better conveys the mock-politeness of the Russian here.

Originally Posted by Throbert McGee

This one definitely has some words ("шпик" and "пшик") and phrases ("Под клюквою развесистой") that are difficult to translate into colloquial-sounding English for a general American audience.

So, I took some liberties with the changes suggested in blue.

Thank you! You helped me a lot!

These songs are really cute and catchy.
I really enjoyed it when I was in Belarus on Victory day, and there were parades, street party and singing in the park. It's rare to see a genuine celebration that's family friendly these days.

However I think it's unnecessary at this point in time to sing songs particularly against Germany. If I was German I'd probably want to clear out of the ex-USSR area for the entire week leading up to Victory day.

Originally Posted by Hanna

However I think it's unnecessary at this point in time to sing songs particularly against Germany.

I agree -- I would hope that some of these songs about blowing "Fritz" to hell are no longer performed publicly as part of the Victory Day celebrations.

At the same time, it's important to preserve these songs when teaching about the historic context of WW2/ВОв -- just as old cartoons like Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips have been preserved, although they would never be included today on a DVD for children!

Yeah, the melodies are so nice that we used them in my childhood in Sweden, so I am familiar with many of these. But the lyrics were completely changed to something different, like a team song or something like that. So when I hear them, I think of completely different things and I never really knew what the original lyrics was about until I took the time to listen, when I was in Belarus. It's kind of funny that the whole Russian army marches to songs about love and things like that.

I would definitely recommend anyone to try to visit Russia for the victory day holiday if you can, because it's quite unique - I don't know that anyone other than the ex-USSR area celebrates Victory day with such vigor, nice spring time date with good weather. You are bound to learn something about history. Plus it's fun nice and family oriented activities. It's perfect for a tourist.