Hi. I would very much appreciate if anyone could help me with this translation. I know they aren't correctly spelled, I don't know the coherence of this conversation either.

Omg mam ty dazchna kupit massaznij stol damoj kak u nas v chkole est.. Ja kabutaby v nebje
After using Google translator

Omg ти мам dazchna купить massaznij таблице damoj как у нас в CHKO Est. .. Я kabutaby V nebje