Thread: Missing parts in English translation of Pushkin's "The daughter of the commandant"

— То-то! — сказал я Пугачеву. — Не лучше ли тебе отстать от них самому, заблаговременно, да прибегнуть к милосердию государыни? Пугачев горько усмехнулся. — Нет, — отвечал он, — поздно мне каяться. Для меня не будет помилования. Буду продолжать как начал. Как знать? Авось и удастся! Гришка Отрепьев ведь поцарствовал же над Москвою. — А знаешь ты, чем он кончил? Его выбросили из окна, зарезали, сожгли, зарядили его пеплом пушку и выпалили! — Слушай, — сказал Пугачев с каким-то диким вдохновением. — Расскажу тебе сказку, которую в ребячестве мне рассказывала старая калмычка. Однажды орел спрашивал у ворона: скажи, ворон-птица, отчего живешь ты на белом свете триста лет, а я всего-навсе только тридцать три года? — Оттого, батюшка, отвечал ему ворон, что ты пьешь живую кровь, а я питаюсь мертвечиной. Орел подумал: давай попробуем и мы питаться тем же. Хорошо. Полетели орел да ворон. Вот завидели палую лошадь; спустились и сели. Ворон стал клевать да похваливать. Орел клюнул раз, клюнул другой, махнул крылом и сказал ворону: нет, брат ворон; чем триста лет питаться падалью, лучше раз напиться живой кровью, а там что бог даст! — Какова калмыцкая сказка? — Затейлива, — отвечал я ему. — Но жить убийством и разбоем значит по мне клевать мертвечину. Пугачев посмотрел на меня с удивлением и ничего не отвечал. Оба мы замолчали, погрузясь каждый в свои размышления.

"Well," I said to Pugatchéf, "would it not be better to forsake them yourself, ere it be too late, and throw yourself on the mercy of the Tzarina?" Pugatchéf smiled bitterly. "No," said he, "the day of repentance is past and gone; they will not give me grace. I must go on as I have begun. Who knows? It may be. Grischka Otrépieff certainly became Tzar at Moscow." "But do you know his end? He was cast out of a window, he was massacred, burnt, and his ashes blown abroad at the cannon's mouth, to the four winds of heaven." "Listen," said Pugatchéf in a sort of wild inspiration. "I will tell you a tale told me by an old Kalmyk woman when I was a kid. Once upon a time an eagle asked a raven: Tell me, raven bird, why do you live three hundred years in this world, and I only thirty-three? — That is, father, because you drink hot blood, and I eat carrion. — The eagle thought for a while: Let us try to eat the same as you. Good. They flew, the eagle and the raven. Presently, they saw a dead horse; they descended and sat near it. The raven began to peck praising what it ate. The eagle pecked one time, pecked two times, flapped its wing and told the raven: No, brother raven, instead of eating carrion for three hundred years, it's better to drink fresh blood one's fill — and then come what may! Now, how do you find this Kalmyk tale?" "A fanciful one," I told him. "But to live by murder and robbery means to me to peck carrion." Pugatchéf looked at me in astonishment, and didn't reply anything. We both kept silence for a while, each of us being lost in thought.

Originally Posted by Inego

— То-то! — сказал я Пугачеву. — Не лучше ли тебе отстать от них самому, заблаговременно, да прибегнуть к милосердию государыни? Пугачев горько усмехнулся. — Нет, — отвечал он, — поздно мне каяться. Для меня не будет помилования. Буду продолжать как начал. Как знать? Авось и удастся! Гришка Отрепьев ведь поцарствовал же над Москвою. — А знаешь ты, чем он кончил? Его выбросили из окна, зарезали, сожгли, зарядили его пеплом пушку и выпалили! — Слушай, — сказал Пугачев с каким-то диким вдохновением. — Расскажу тебе сказку, которую в ребячестве мне рассказывала старая калмычка. Однажды орел спрашивал у ворона: скажи, ворон-птица, отчего живешь ты на белом свете триста лет, а я всего-навсе только тридцать три года? — Оттого, батюшка, отвечал ему ворон, что ты пьешь живую кровь, а я питаюсь мертвечиной. Орел подумал: давай попробуем и мы питаться тем же. Хорошо. Полетели орел да ворон. Вот завидели палую лошадь; спустились и сели. Ворон стал клевать да похваливать. Орел клюнул раз, клюнул другой, махнул крылом и сказал ворону: нет, брат ворон; чем триста лет питаться падалью, лучше раз напиться живой кровью, а там что бог даст! — Какова калмыцкая сказка? — Затейлива, — отвечал я ему. — Но жить убийством и разбоем значит по мне клевать мертвечину. Пугачев посмотрел на меня с удивлением и ничего не отвечал. Оба мы замолчали, погрузясь каждый в свои размышления.

"Well," I said to Pugatchéf, "would it not be better to forsake them yourself, ere it be too late, and throw yourself on the mercy of the Tzarina?" Pugatchéf smiled bitterly. "No," said he, "the day of repentance is past and gone; they will not give me grace. I must go on as I have begun. Who knows? It may be. Grischka Otrépieff certainly became Tzar at Moscow." "But do you know his end? He was cast out of a window, he was massacred, burnt, and his ashes blown abroad at the cannon's mouth, to the four winds of heaven." "Listen," said Pugatchéf in a sort of wild inspiration. "I will tell you a tale told me by an old Kalmyk woman when I was a kid. Once upon a time an eagle asked a raven: Tell me, raven bird, why do you live three hundred years in this world, and I only thirty-three? — That is, father, because you drink hot blood, and I eat carrion. — The eagle thought for a while: Let us try to eat the same as you. Good. They flew, the eagle and the raven. Presently, they saw a dead horse; they descended and sat near it. The raven began to peck praising what it ate. The eagle pecked one time, pecked two times, flapped its wing and told the raven: No, brother raven, instead of eating carrion for three hundred years, it's better to drink fresh blood one's fill — and then come what may! Now, how do you find this Kalmyk tale?" "A fanciful one," I told him. "But to live by murder and robbery means to me to peck carrion." Pugatchéf looked at me in astonishment, and didn't reply anything. We both kept silence for a while, each of us being lost in thought.

"Listen," said Pugatchéf in a sort of wild inspiration. "I will tell you a tale told me by an old Kalmyk woman when I was a kid. Once upon a time an eagle asked a raven, "Tell me, raven bird, why do you live three hundred years in this world, and I only thirty-three?"
"That is because you drink hot blood and I eat carrion," answered the raven.
The eagle thought for a while and then said, "Let's try and eat the same food."
"OK," said the raven.
They flew, the eagle and the raven. Presently, they saw a dead horse; they descended and sat near it. The raven began to peck, praising what it ate. The eagle pecked once, twice, flapped its wing and told the raven, "No, brother raven. Instead of eating carrion for three hundred years it's better to drink one's fill of fresh blood and then come what may!"
"Now, how do you find this Kalmyk tale?" Pugatchéf asked.
"A fanciful one," I told him. "But to live by murder and robbery means the same thing to me as pecking carrion."
Pugatchéf looked at me in astonishment and didn't reply. We both kept silent for a while, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

Note: In English, the term father, when addressed to someone is only used with one's father, hence the raven can't call the eagle father.

Originally Posted by sperk

The eagle thought for a while and then said, "Let's try and eat the same food."
"OK," said the raven.
They flew, the eagle and the raven.

In the Russian original "Хорошо." is not what the Raven said, it's a remark by the narrator meaning something like "Now, I go on with the story".
That's why I translated it literally since I didn't (and don't) know the English equivalent.

Originally Posted by Inego

In the Russian original "Хорошо." is not what the Raven said, it's a remark by the narrator meaning something like "Now, I go on with the story".
That's why I translated it literally since I didn't (and don't) know the English equivalent.

I would just leave it out. That sort of thing isn't found in English. You could say something like, "moving on with the story..." but it's unnecessary.

Originally Posted by sperk

I would just leave it out. That sort of thing isn't found in English. You could say something like, "moving on with the story..." but it's unnecessary.

The problem is that this translation is a part of a parallel book, and I try to stay as close to the original as possible. What the readers will think when they see "Хорошо." in Russian without any translation in English?
Maybe just use "So"?

So, they flew, the eagle and the raven.

Originally Posted by Inego

The problem is that this translation is a part of a parallel book, and I try to stay as close to the original as possible. What the readers will think when they see "Хорошо." in Russian without any translation in English?
Maybe just use "So"?

So, they flew, the eagle and the raven.

And so, away they flew, the eagle and the raven.