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Thread: Я решила проверить себя

  1. #1
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    Я решила проверить себя

    Помогите, пожалуйста, с проверкой моего перевода. Это перевод незнакомого мне материала, сделано на ходу и без словаря чтобы проверить свое понимание.

    Взято из "Обломова", И. Гончарева.:

    Chapter 1

    On Gorokhovaya street, in one of the large buildings, the population of which could have been(?) a whole уездный city, there lay in the morning, in his bed, Ilya Ilich Oblomov.

    This was a man of thirty-two or -three years from birth, of average height, pleasing appearance, with dark gray eyes, but with the lack of any definite idea or any concentration in his facial features. Thought played across his face at will(?), порхала in his eyes, sat on his half-opened lips, hid in the furrows(?) of his brow, then was completely lost, and then the even light of indeterminiteness(??) warmed(?) in his whole face. From his face this беспечность moved into the poses of his whole body, even into the складки шлафрока.

    Sometimes his gaze was darkened by an expression as if of tiredness or boredom; but neither tiredness, nor boredom could drive from his face the softness which was the reigning and basic expression of not only his face, but also of his whole soul; and his soul very openly and clearly shone in his eyes, his smile, and in every movement of his head and hands. And a superficially observant, cold person, casting a passing glance at Oblomov, would have said: "A good fellow(?), it's simple(?)!" A person a little deeper and a little more forgiving, having long looked into Oblomov's face, would have departed into pleasant rumination, with a smile.

    Спасибо заранее!
    P.S. - Исправление ошибок в моих текстах на русском всегда приветствуется

  2. #2
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    Re: Я решила проверить себя

    Quote Originally Posted by Moryachka
    On Gorokhovaya street, in one of the large buildings, the population of which could have been(?) a whole уездный city, there lay in the morning, in his bed, Ilya Ilich Oblomov.
    стало бы на целый уездный город = would be enough for a whole district city. Уездный город is a main city of an administrative district (уезд) in old Russia.


    This was a man of thirty-two or -three years from birth,
    Not incorrect, but you translation is a bit too literal. "тридцати трёх лет от роду" = 33 years old. I doubt you would say or write "33 years from birth" if you were not translating.


    Thought played across his face at will(?),
    Мысль гуляла вольной птицей по лицу - "Thought walked across/around his face as a free bird ". To fully understand it, you should know that "вольная птица" is kind of a set phrase in Russian, and birds are seen as personification of freedom.

    порхала in his eyes,
    Condinuation of the bird metaphora:

    Порхать = "to move from one place to another by flying" (it implies actually using/moving one's wings, you can't say, for example "самолёт порхал")

    and then the even light of indeterminiteness(??) warmed(?) in his whole face.
    и тогда во всем лице теплился ровный свет беспечности
    ...and then his entire face was glowing with the even light of carelessness/light-heartedness.

    теплиться (obsolete) = to burn or to glow (about fire (especially as a source of light), light, lamp, candle etc). Свеча теплится (the candle is burning). Затеплить (to light) лампаду.

    беспечность = carelessnes, light-heartedness. бепечный = carefree. This word can have both negative and positive connotations, depending on the context.

    And a superficially observant, cold person, casting a passing glance at Oblomov, would have said: "A good fellow(?), it's simple(?)!"
    Добряк, должно быть, простота! = "He must be a kind-hearted man, a simple man!"

    "Simple" here doesn't necessarily mean a simpleton (naive or stupid person), rather, kind and not given to ceremony, not stiff.

  3. #3
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    Так, значит, мне приходится еще учиться ! Спасибо большое, translations - даже когда я проверила попоже со словарем, некоторые выражения остались непонятнымы. Но теперь уж все ясно .
    P.S. - Исправление ошибок в моих текстах на русском всегда приветствуется

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    You might check the spelling of the author's name.

    It's Гончаров.

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    Hmm...you're right, of course, chaika . Thanks. I really shouldn't begin such undertakings in the middle of the night.

    Еще вопрос - в песне "Только не назад", Алла Пугачева поет "...жизнь моя -- вольная птица. На воле должна летать." So she's saying that she can't be cooped up somewhere? That she needs freedom, perhaps from responsibilities? Or is she indicating a lack of control over her own life? Or maybe I'm just overanalyzing... (Sorry, waxing philosophical, I couldn't think fast enough in Russian . Но можете отвечать по-русски )

    Thanks!
    P.S. - Исправление ошибок в моих текстах на русском всегда приветствуется

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moryachka
    Еще вопрос - в песне "Только не назад", Алла Пугачева поет "...жизнь моя -- вольная птица. На воле должна летать." So she's saying that she can't be cooped up somewhere? That she needs freedom, perhaps from responsibilities? Or is she indicating a lack of control over her own life? Or maybe I'm just overanalyzing... (Sorry, waxing philosophical, I couldn't think fast enough in Russian . Но можете отвечать по-русски )

    Thanks!
    what she means is that she can't be cooped up somewhere, that she wants and needs to live free (not necessarily from responsibilities and definitelly there is no implication of the lack of control over her own life)

    Cheers
    По-русски — «миру — мир», а по-английски — «пису — пис»!

    Бороться, искать, найти и перепрятать

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