Thread: Russian humor and Russian learning folks.

Back to the original sketch.
I saw that Johanna and Paperplane liked it , so I’ve taken the liberty of transcribing and even translating it, within the confines of my limited language skills. Sorry for the bad grammar.
There are many barely audible or garbled or cut short in the middle words there, which must not bar you from understanding the conversation as a whole. Then again you may ask if you find something not quite clear. It would be fine if the English part be corrected where you see fit.

-Ну? Ха ха, доехало. Well, finally (what took you so long?).
Ну чё, братан? На красные ворота доеду? So what, bro? Is this gonna take me to the Red Gates (krasnye vorota in Russian, only he says it with the stress on the wrong vowel.)
- Доедете, если курить не будете. Yes it is, if you don’t smoke, that is.
- Хо, а чё (что) мы, мы уже на вы, мы уже не дружим? Hah, what was that? Airs and graces? All of a sudden we’re not friends anymore?
- Ну, извините. Но я все-таки попросил бы вас не курить. OK, I’m sorry, but it would be much better if you didn’t smoke, please.
-Чё ты попросил? Не курить? What’d you say? Didn’t smoke?
Не понял ребята, мне чё, в моём родном городе уже покурить что ли нельзя, а? I don’t get it, guys. What am I, not allowed to have a smoke in my own town, eh?
Ты скажи! Может я тогда сгоняю в Тулу на пару секунд. Я там курну по быстрому и вернусью. You just tell me! And I’m up and gone to Tula (the town not far from Moscow), for a few seconds, get a couple of puffs there and be right back.
Ты не обижайся, командир. Я ж тебе правду говорю. Ну ты… А чё ты в книжку то уставился, козлиная борода? Шо ты там читаешь то? Я ж к тебе обращаюсь. Ну так чё? О! Бабуля! Don’t get me wrong, chief. I’m not kidding. And what’s with all this reading, you, goat bearded prick? What are you reading there? I’m talking to you, am I? Well? Oh, my! Granny!
- Бабуленция, иди сюда. Я тебе место уступил. Иди! В тесноте, как говорится – не в обиде. Hey, grandma! Come up here. I’ve cleared up the seat for you. It’s a bit tight but it's allright as they say.
- Чё не надо мне? Чё там чавкаешь сидишь? Я тебе что – зря старался что ли? Слышь ты, коза старая, иди. Я тебе место уступил. Я кому место уступал? Кому? Кому я место уступал? Тебе же уступал. Иди, садись. Для тебя же старался. Садись, вот же место есть. Не буди во мне зверя, бабуля! Не буди во мне зверя. Ха ха. What do you mean you don’t want to? What are you muttering about there? Who do you think I went to all the trouble for? Listen here, old hag! Come up here! I’ve cleared up the seat for you. Who have I cleared the seat for? Who? You know who? You, that’s who! Come on! Sit down. Did I waste my efforts? Sit down, here’s the seat. Don’t bring out the beast in me, honey! Don’t bring out the beast! Ha ha.
Ну чё, бабуль, комфортно тебе? So, what’s up, ma? Feeling good?
- Хорошо, хорошо. Good, good.
- Удобно? Nice and cozy?
- Да, хорошо. Yes, cozy..
- Сиди кочумай, (отдыхай – underworld)да? Мож фортку закрыть? Just calm down and unwind, eh? I could close the window if you wanted me to.
- Не, не надо. No, no, it’s allright.
- Не надо? You sure?
Курнёшь, бабк? Would you care for a smoke?
- Да нет, ну что вы, я не курю, спасибо большое. No, of course not, I don’t smoke, thank you.
- А чё так? Аааа, спортом занимаешся? How come? Aaaah, going in for sports?
- Да, конечно. То есть… Yes, sure. Wait a m…
- Шейпингом. Молодец, бабк. Shaping? Good for you, ma.
Бабуль, вот скажи мне, а чё у нас такая молодёжь гнилая, а? Okay, grandma, let me ask you a question. Why do you think the youth that we have is such a rotten youth?
Во, сидит, смотри! Вишь? Делает вид, в книжку уткнулась. Нет чтобы женщине старой место уступить! Look at him sitting here. Look at him! See? Making a show, as if he were reading the book, instead of giving his seat to the old woman.
- Ну что, послушайте! Ну что вы ко мне пристаёте? Садитесь куда угодно! Автобус совершенно пустой. Good gracious, listen! Whatever do you want from me? Take a seat wherever you like.
The bus is absolutely empty.
- Пустой? А. Вишь бабк? Ба! Empty you say? Well. See that, ma?
- Ой! Ouch!
- Вишь? Не нравится им ничего у нас. Автобусы им не нравятся, Ельцин не нравится, «Поле чудес» не нравится, ничего не нр… А не нравится, давай в грёбаную свою Америку, давай, дуй, дуй к своим братанам, дружбанам, программистам. Ёкарный ты бабай! See? There’s nothing in this country that they like. They don’t like buses. Do they like Yeltcin? No. "The Field of Wonders” (Wheel of Fortune)? No. They like nothing! But if so, why don’t you skedaddle to your freaking America. Come on, go. Go to your chums, to your buddies, to your computer geeks. You, worthless piece of crap.
- Почему это я должен куда-то уезжать из своей страны? Why, for Christ's sake, should I leave my own country?
- Чё? Своя срана! Ты чё, купил штоли, страну то? Моя страна. What? Your country? And when did you buy that, your country? Listen to that: “My County!”

Бабуль. Grandma.
- А? What?
- Скажи, ты воевала? Tell me this, have you been to the war?
- Hmm
- Вот видишь? Бабка воевала за тебя, кровь проливала! А ты сидишь, гадёныш, тут, в книжку уткнулся. You realize now? The grandma here has been to the war for you, she has seen action, spilt her blood. And you, look at yourself! Piece of shit, peeping in that stupid book of yours.
- Ну, знаете! This is an outrage!
- Да ладно ты. Не пукни тока, смотри. Разъерепенился! Calm down, you! Make sure you don’t break wind. Look at him all bristled up!
Дай позырить(посмотреть), чё за книга то? Дай. Да не боись ты. Give me that! What did you say the book was? Loosen up, I won’t bite you.
- Вам не понравится. You’re not gonna like it.
- Чёйто ( почему это) не понравится? How do you mean not gonna like it?
- Козарецкий. «Энциклопедия профессора Фортрана» It’s Kozaretckiy, “The professor Fortran’s encyclopedia. “
- Хорошо. Good.
- Какого профессора? Professor what?
- Фортрана. Fortran.
- Она без картинок что ли? Ой! Смотри! Ой! Книжка. Надо же? Ой. Выпала. Это ветром, вер.. вырвало, видишь? Ветер. Вырвало. Вырвало. Видишь как? Смори! Щас меня на тебя вырвет! No pictures? What the … Look! Mama mia! The book! What happened? Darn it! It’s the wind, the… It’s gone with the wind! Did you see that? The wind. Thrown off by the wind! Who would have thunk it? And I’m about to throw on you.
Enter Roboment. -
Сканирую. Оценка ситуации. Хулиган пристаёт к безоружному, гнилому интеллигенту. Begin scanning. Assessing the situation. A hooligan bullying an unarmed freaking nerd.
Мера воздействия – физическое уничтожение. Suggested way of resolving the problem – physical termination.
- Ха ха! Чё ты делаешь? What are you doing?

Originally Posted by chaika

It reminds me of this one about a piece of life that might not exist in Russia...
for driving without a seat
belt.

There was a time when we hadn't inertia reels and we had to set seat belt's length.
One man was stopped by a gaishnik (road police officer). He checked his seat belt and said it was loosen.
The man paid a ruble, set seat belt tighter and gone. Second gaishnik stopped him and said his seat was loosen.
The man paid a ruble again, set seat belt as tight as possible and gone. Third gaishnik stopped him, checked his seat belt and exclaimed "Are you going to strangle yourself for just one ruble!!?"
So you see that in russian jokes, gaishniks are funny, not drivers.
Another typically Russian joke is based on double meaning of word "номер":
1) Registration number of a car.
2) Act in a show. Circus.
But we mostly found it funny because we don't like gaishniks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pAedcCei9g

I just watched Бриллиантовая рука (brilliantovaya ruka ) which is called a great Russian comedy. I chuckled a couple of times but that was about it. After reading this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diamon ... ch_phrases it's clear to me that this is best described as Soviet humor. While I can appreciate it on an intellectual level I think you would have to have been living in the USSR to have any sort of emotional reaction to it.

Originally Posted by sperk

I just watched Бриллиантовая рука (brilliantovaya ruka ) which is called a great Russian comedy. I chuckled a couple of times but that was about it. After reading this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Diamon ... ch_phrases it's clear to me that this is best described as Soviet humor. While I can appreciate it on an intellectual level I think you would have to have been living in the USSR to have any sort of emotional reaction to it.

When Leonid Gaidai 's wife was once asked what was this film about (Gaidai's been dead by that time) she answered: nothing in particular.
Your post forced me to think it over since I know this film very well and watched it many many times I must confess that there's really very little to laught at. Oh, when I watched it for the first time (and it was very long ago and I was a kid) I found this film very funny. Then as I watched it again and again I chucked, then I simply smiled. To most Russians it's like a reflex, I think. I wouldn't have found this film particularly funny if I watched this film now (at the present time and being an adult man). We like this film probably because many good memories from childhood are closely linked with it. Still there are many catch phrases that live in the Russian language even now, they've become independent and I even start meeting young people who use them but don't know where it came from.
Many jokes from it are hard to understand indeed if you didn't live in the USSR.

I'v just read this wiki article about "Diamond arm" and IMHO it's written by some paranoic dissident who hates the Soviet times. I'm more than certain that Gaidai didn't mean many of those things mentioned in the article.

Well --- I remember Soviet films running on Swedish TV in my childhood. They used to be on in the afternoons, particularly, and during school holidays. So I have very good memories of watching them. To us, it was no more "alien" than an American Western or something about people in the US...

The view was that they were high quality, but in some cases a bit too deep and "boring". Great for childrens content though. (But I don't think any Russian war film was ever shown, and I guess that's where our state TV draw the line, ideologically.)

That comedy about a school teacher and 3 thieves who get reformed (Gentlemen, something...) ran many times and there is a Swedish ripoff in two parts. I re-watched this Russian film last autumn and I still think it's very funny and good quality! There are many other examples!
Or perhaps I just have a similar sense of humour to think that!

Anyway, I think these comedies stand up on their own merits.
Plus, for you, it's your history/culture, so obviously valuable -- who cares if the government has changed.. Russians are still Russians, right?

---------------------------------

PS -- It's funny that there has been no American ripoffs of Russian comedies. Every time there is a successful French comedy, there is an American ripoff a few years later.

Originally Posted by alexB

Back to the original sketch.
I saw that Johanna and Paperplane liked it , so I’ve taken the liberty of transcribing and even translating it,

Wow, thanks for doing that! What a treat to get it translated "by hand".
I will save it for the weekend and I'll check the English grammar.

My skills in Russian are in a strange "phase" - sometimes i understand almost everything that's said in a film -- and sometimes hardly anything!

But it was a very funny sketch despite missing half the dialogue the first time I watched it.

Originally Posted by Ramil

Many jokes from it are hard to understand indeed if you didn't live in the USSR.

Например, когда соседка называет оперативнику номер Волги увезшей Семен Семеновича: 28-70 ОГО (цена поллитры)

Originally Posted by Johanna

PS -- It's funny that there has been no American ripoffs of Russian comedies. Every time there is a successful French comedy, there is an American ripoff a few years later.

I never saw the English version but it is based on Ilf and Petrov's work:

http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Chairs-Ron ... 529&sr=1-1


Scott

Originally Posted by Lampada

Даже мне не было смешно. Может, кто-нибудь растолкует, в чём юмор-то?
Как в том анекдоте: Почему повязка с головы оказалась на ноге? Сползла.

Keep in mind that in Russia, as in the United States, there are many different senses of humor. I have found that for the most part, Russian humor is indeed quite funny. The only time that I don't find it funny is when there are references to culture or history that I don't understand.

If a Russian saw "Jackass" and concluded that all American humor is low brow trash, then they would miss out on the great comedians, satire, funny movies and on and on. So try not to do the same with Russia or you'll miss out! If you watch the movie "Слушатель" I think you will find that the humor in that movie is almost identical to humor in an American funny movie.