Thanks edvalais!
It's really amazing to work in collaboration with all of you guys!
Yes, sometimes I do have the feeling that my wording is at least 'far from perfection'
That's why I need your help, it's like another sort of learning the language. It helps me activate my vocabulary, learn new words, set phrases and idioms from your comments and corrections and also get a grip on composing sentences in a more authentic way.
I agree with the idea of immersion, that's what I alway try to do when I have a spare minute and what I've been doing since maybe 2010 (don't remember for sure) when I started to learn English. Still there's more to learning than just digesting the information you get, I guess it's also useful to practice productive skills like writing and speaking. Moreover, I find it extremely amusing This is a real fun to me.
Stay in touch!

P.S. Later on today I'm going to add a new piece of the story, some touches about love and blood, and then take a break to polish the story according to your comments.
Hope you enjoy it!