Hi all,

I'm sorry if this was already asked, but couldn't find any thread on it. My question is how is the concept of a man paying for a woman's dates in Russia viewed? Is it the norm for couples to split the bill, or do men prefer to pay for entertainment?

I ask, because my ex-boyfriend was Russian. He came to America when he was a teenager, but he expressed hostility towards the idea of a man paying for a woman. My ex was angry at my mom for raising me to believe in traditional courting practices. My female friend from Russia told me, "If your ex were to move back to Russia, most women wouldn't want to date him." I wanted to confirm on this forum if it's true that men in Russia are raised to be chivalrous.

Even though I'm raised in America, my parents also come from an immigrant country where going dutch is unheard of. The ability for a man to provide and taking care of his woman is still prized in my family's culture. A man paying for a date isn't about letting the woman steal his money, but it's about treating her as special and demonstrating that he will make a good husband. Even outside of dating, people in my culture offer to pay for their friends or houseguests as an act of hospitality and respect.

In modern American culture, you will find a lot of men and women that also criticize the concept of a man paying. It's acceptable to have sex on the first few dates with someone you barely know, but god forbid that you're a woman that likes to be paid for. You're automatically considered a gold-digger, you don't care about the man or you're being unfair. But, my parents didn't grow up in the feminist era where this "dutch" idea was created.

Do these values exist in Russian culture too? Maybe my ex was too influenced by American culture? He said he doesn't like to date Russian women, because he thinks they "clean their men out." I disagree, because I think it's just how some cultures raise their women.