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Thread: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

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    Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    Relationship between animals and humans.

    Humankind has long history of relationship with animals. Many people believe that animals play very important role in human life. In this essay I will discuss contemporary issues of animals such as keeping animals in zoos, using animals in scientific experiments as well as advantage and disadvantage having animals at home.

    Some people firmly believe that keeping animals in zoos is cruel towards them. Moreover they claim that zoos must not be places for adults and children’s entertainment. Let’s imagine for example the situation when a white bear is in a cage while a temperature of air is more than +25C. It is not humane because all animals need natural habitat. Another important aspect of it is the fact that some species suffer from being in zoos and their longevity is lower than in natural environment. Furthermore, some species are not able to breed in zoos. So it is clear why many people are against keeping animals in zoos.

    On the other hand, there are many people who tend to assume that zoos are essential. First of all, many zoos take part in conservation programs. Unfortunately, these day mankind has faced a lot of environmental issues as result of deforestation and global warming. As a consequence of it many unique species have lost their natural habitat. Let’s take for example the fact that many species in Mexico savanna are needed protection because about 50% of land are occupied by sugarcane after deforestation. Another example of it is the fact that global warming influence glaciers negatively in Northern Pole and as a result white bears don’t have enough place to live. Taking into account all these issues zoos have special breeding and conservation programs and it allows to save endangered species and support biodiversity. Second of all, many parents, teachers and educators are inclined to believe that zoos play very important educational role. It is obvious, that children as well as adults have great opportunity to see wild animals such as bears, tigers, horses, monkeys etc. in zoos alive. If we compare watching animals in a zoo with studying them through the textbook or even on the internet we will come to conclusion that first is much more interesting and breathtaking. So after analyzing these facts it is clear why many support idea of zoos.

    I will continue it. Thanks for your attention. Please write some your ideas about it.

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    Re: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    Relations between animals and man.
    In a sentence like that, "relations" sounds sexual. Better use "relationship".
    Also, "man" is not politically correct -- use humans

    "Relationship between animals and humans"
    If I was kiddin' you, I'd be wearin' a fez and no pants. (Lennie Briscoe)

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    Re: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    Humankind has a long history of relationship with animals. Many people believe that animals play a very important role in human life. In this essay I will discuss contemporary issues around animals such as keeping animals in zoos, using animals in scientific experiments as well as advantages and disadvantages of having animals at home.

    Some people firmly believe that keeping animals in zoos is cruel_. Moreover, they claim that zoos must not be places for adults' and children’s entertainment. Let’s imagine, for example, a situation where a polar bear is in a cage while the temperature_ is more than +25C. It is not humane because all animals need their natural habitat. Another important aspect of this is the fact that some species suffer from being in zoos and their life expectancy is lower than in the natural environment. Furthermore, some species are not able to breed in zoos. So it is clear why many people are against keeping animals in zoos.

    On the other hand, there are many people who believethat zoos are essential. First of all, many zoos take part in conservation programs. Unfortunately, these days humankind faces (you need present tense with "these days") a lot of environmental issues as a result of deforestation and global warming. As a consequence, many unique species have lost their natural habitat. Let’s take, for example, the fact that many species in Mexican savanna need protection because about 50% of the land where they live is occupied by sugarcane after deforestation. Another example_ is the fact that global warming reduced glaciers in the Arctic and, as a result, polar bears don’t have enough space to live. Taking all these issues into account zoos have special breeding and conservation programs that save endangered species and support biodiversity. Secondly, many parents, teachers and educators ("teachers and educators" is redundant) are inclined to believe that zoos play a very important educational role. It is obvious_ that children as well as adults have an opportunity to see wild animals such as bears, tigers, horses (horses are not wild animals), or monkeys in zoos(it's obvious that they're alive in a zoo... alive is redundant). If we compare watching animals in a zoo with studying them through a textbook or even on the internet, we will (will we?) come to conclusion that the former is much more interesting and breathtaking (breathtaking seems like an overstatement). So, after analyzing these facts it is clear why many support the idea of zoos.

    I will continue it. Thanks for your attention. Please write some of your ideas about it.
    If I was kiddin' you, I'd be wearin' a fez and no pants. (Lennie Briscoe)

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    Re: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    Thanks a lot for your correction. It is my second part.

    Also I’d like to discuss the problem of using animals in scientific experiments. It is well-known fact that rats, pigs, monkeys etc. are used for testing new kind of medicaments. Moreover, these days animals are even used for testing shampoos, soaps, food additives or perfumes. Many people as well as animal protection organisations are against such cruel treatment towards animals. It is obvious, that pharmaceutical companies, research laboratories and businesses should be controlled and restricted by a government in case of using animals for these purposes. Possible solution for this issue could be using computer models for testing new kind of drugs. It would allow to decrease amount of animals taking part in testing of drugs. As a matter of fact, using animals for such no critical purposes is shameful for mankind and should be banned. Another very important aspect of this issue is the fact that last inventions in areas of genetic engineering can lead to using animals for transplant surgery. I have recently watched a documentary movie on Discovery Channel about cloning. Some scientists suppose, that in nearest future animals which have organs similar to human ones, could be used for growing transplant organs. I guess, that it very controversial field and humankind will face a lot of moral problems related with using animals such way.

    There are many advantages if a family has a pet. One of the benefits of this is that pets impact on children’s upbringing really very positive way. From my every day experience and observation children from families who have a cat or a dog are usually very kind, humane and merciful. One of the reason of it is a need to take care of a pet. Moreover, there is a quite great chance that a child will get along well with other people in the adult life because he or she learns how to treat well with a pet. Another important aspect of it is the fact that according to a recent scientific research holding pets at home is exceptionally beneficial for health. I have recently read an article in the magazine “National Geographic” about this discovery. Some scientists claim that playing with a cut leads to normalization of your blood pressure and increasing of the life span. So it is clear why many people enjoy keeping pets in their apartments.

    However, there are negative sides if you have a pet. First of all, there is an scientific evidences that having an animal at home can amplify some kinds of allergy. As a matter of fact, children are very vulnerable in this concern because they have weaker immune system than adults’ one. So that is why it is reasonable to take advice from a general practitioner whether your family has any risk of holding animal or not. Secondly, these days some people spend much money for expensive haircuts and clothes or even delicious food for their pets. Of cause, it is up to them, but I guess that golden mean is better. In additional to these disadvantages future owners of pets should take into account that they will have to spend quite a lot of time on their home animals. For instance, if you have a dog it is necessary to walk him or her daily for at least one hour. Furthermore, some owners of pets face rather exotic issues. For instance, I have a quite old cat, she is about 15 years old. Can you imagine that she has cried every night since last year? To tell the truth, it is a real nightmare as for my family as well as our for neighbours! Thus, it is clear why some people would not have a pet at home.

    In conclusion, taking into account everything mentioned above I prefer to think that, despite possible obstacles holding a pet at home has more positive sides than negative ones. In most cases it would be beneficial as for your children as well as for parents. As far as zoos are concerned, in my opinion they are really necessary as for conservation of endangered animals as well as for children’ and adult’s education. And the last thing, I’d like to mention, is my concern with the scientific experiments on animals. On a personal level, I think that the less scientists will expose animals to different medicals experiments the more humane and merciful our society will be. We are all responsible for future of our planet.

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    Re: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    Quote Originally Posted by alusov
    Thanks a lot for your correction. Here is my second part.

    Also, I’d like to discuss the problem of using animals in scientific experiments. It is a well-known fact that rats, pigs, monkeys and other animals are used for testing new kinds of medications [or: pharmaceuticals]. Moreover, these days animals are even used for testing shampoos, soaps, food additives and perfumes. Many people as well as animal protection organisations are against such cruel treatment of animals. It is obvious_that pharmaceutical companies, research laboratories and businesses should be controlled and restricted by the government when using animals for these purposes. A possible solution for this issue could be using computer models for testing new kind of drugs, which would decrease the number of animals used. As a matter of fact, using animals for such non-critical purposes is shameful for mankind and should be banned. Another very important aspect of this issue is the fact that recent inventions in the area_ of genetic engineering can [may?] lead to using animals for transplant surgery. I _recently watched a documentary movie on the Discovery Channel about cloning. Some scientists suppose_ that in the near future animals that have organs similar to human ones_ could be used for growing transplant organs. I guess ["I guess" is colloquial; "it seems to me" or nothing at all is better in a written essay] that it is a very controversial field and humankind will face a lot of moral problems related tousing animals in such a way.

    There are many advantages if a family has a pet. One of the benefits of this is that pets have a very positive impact on children. From my everyday experience and observation, children from families who have a cat or a dog are usually very kind, humane and merciful. One of the reasons for this is the need to take care of a pet. Moreover, there is a good chance that a child will get along well with other people in _adult life because he or she learns how to treat a pet well. Another important aspect _is the fact that according to_ recent scientific research, holding [do you mean literally holding in one's hands? otherwise, "having" is better] pets at home is exceptionally beneficial for one's health. I _recently read an article in the magazine “National Geographic” about this discovery. Some scientists claim that playing with a cat leads to normalization of your blood pressure and increases your life span. So it is clear why many people enjoy keeping pets in their apartments.

    However, there are negative sides if you have a pet. [Or: There are negative aspects to having a pet.] First of all, there is_scientific evidence_ that having an animal at home can amplify [better: exacerbate; aggravate; intensify] some kinds of allergies. As a matter of fact, children are very vulnerable in this concern because they have weaker immune systems than adults_. Therefore it is reasonable to take advice from a general practitioner about whether your family is at risk having a pet. Secondly, these days some people spend a lot [or: exhorbotant amounts of]money for expensive haircuts, clothes or even delicious food for their pets. Of course_ it is up to them, but I guess that the golden mean is better. [It's not really clear what you mean by this. Another sentence explaining would be good.] In addition,_ future pet owners should take into account that they will have to spend quite a lot of time with their pets. For instance, if you have a dog it is necessary to walk him or her [it is acceptable to use "it" with animals, but this is fine as well] daily for at least one hour. Furthermore, some pet owners face rather exotic issues. For instance, I have quite an old cat,_ about 15 years old. Can you believe that she has cried every night since last year? To tell the truth [this is fine, but you are using a lot of these connecting phrases, and I think this sentence is better without it], it is a real nightmare_ for my family as well as our for our neighbours. Thus, it is clear why some people would not have a pet at home.

    In conclusion,_ I prefer to think that, despite possible obstacles, having a pet at home has more positive aspects than negative ones. In most cases it would be beneficial_ for _children as well as for parents. As far as zoos are concerned, in my opinion they are really necessary for both the conservation of endangered animals as well as for _ education. Finally,_I am concerned about scientific experiments on animals. On a personal level, I think that the less scientists _ expose animals to different medical_ experiments, the more humane and merciful our society will be. We are all responsible for the future of our planet.
    Nice essay!
    Пожалуйста, исправляйте мои ошибки.

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    Re: Pease, check my essay and write your ideas

    A few more:

    A possible solution for this issue could be using computer models for testing new kinds of drugs

    As a matter of fact (your statement is NOT a matter of FACT, you need to rephrase), using animals for such non-critical purposes is shameful ("shameful" is stylistically bad, try "morally wrong") [s:222806q9]for humankind[/s:222806q9] and should be banned

    Another very important aspect of this issue is the fact that recent inventions in the area_ of genetic engineering can [may?] (I'd say might) lead to using animals for transplant surgery

    Therefore it is reasonable to seek advice from a general practitioner about whether (awkward) your family is at risk having a pet. Try:...from a general practitioner about the risks to your family from owning a pet.

    a lot of money for expensive haircuts, clothes or even delicious food for their pets == even is very strange here... does it not make more sense to spend money on dog food than on clothes?

    it is a real nightmare_ for my family as well as [s:222806q9]our[/s:222806q9] for our neighbours
    If I was kiddin' you, I'd be wearin' a fez and no pants. (Lennie Briscoe)

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