Thread: Are mistakes in my letter? I should send it in US.

Are mistakes in my letter? I should send it in US.
Here it is -

Hello.
My name is Alexander Stal. I am a student of Moscow Institute of Radiotechnical, Electronic and Automatic.
My occupation is #Bio-Medical Devices#, my diploma work is #Using Neutral Networks in Medicine#. I am 23 years old.
I was a hostage in the Moscow's theatre #Nord-Ost#, October 23-26 2002 year.
After the liberation and operation of special troopers (gassing and using sound bomb) I particularly lost my able to hear. Doctors said that nervous cells in rumor channel had been destroyed.
I know that your institute solves the problems of re-building nervous cells in rumor channel, and nowadays the job is not finished yet. If you want, I offer to help to you in some calculation, writing the programs and etc. (we can connect by e-mail). I studied biology, physics, mathematic and I can speak English.
Other side, I would be glad to get new information about your successes in re-building nervous cels.
Respectfully yours, Alexander Stal.

I'm a native speaker of U.S. English, but I don't work in the medical field. Please excuse me, but I have two questions for you:

1. Are you certain of the name in English of the Moscow Institute you attended? I visited http://www.tstu.ru/eng/obrazov/server/35.htm and the closest name I found to the one you've given is "Moscow State Institute of Radio Engineering, Electronics and Automation".

2. I searched for "rumor channel" on the internet, but couldn't find this term. Here is a URL showing ear anatomy in English:
http://www.earaces.com/anatomy.htm#Cartilaginous Portion of External Ear Canal
Perhaps "Channel" should be "Canal"? I don't know about "rumor".

As you can see below, I didn't change much. There are members of the forum that speak both English and Russian (I'm not yet one of them.) If someone else doesn't respond to this post, you can always post on "Grammar and Vocabulary". More of them will see it there.

I wish you well, Alexandr_S.

Barbara



Hello,

My name is Alexander Stal. I am a student of Moscow Institute of
Radiotechnical, Electronic and Automatic. I work with Bio-Medical Devices and my specialty is Using Neural Networks in Medicine. I am 23 years old. I was held hostage in Moscow Theatre during October 23-26, 2002. Special troopers used gas and a sound bomb during their rescue operation and I lost the ability to hear. Doctors say that nerve cells in the rumor channel have been destroyed.

I know your institute is researching ways to rebuild nerve cells in the rumor channel. I could help you with some of your calculations, writing programs, etc. (we can connect via e-mail). I have studied Biology, Physics, Mathematics, and I can speak English. In return, I would be grateful for new information about your successes in rebuilding nerve cells.

Respectfully yours,

Alexander Stal

Maybe it should be changed to I have partially lost my ability to hear, unless you cannot hear at all, then its fine.I'm guessing you didnt lose your hearing completely though.

please describe what is Using Neutral Networks in Medicine.. it will be difficult for them to understand.

rumor channel???? as far as i know there is no medical term in english as rumor channel..... please confirm it...
nerve cells are present in internal ear, auditory cranial nerve and brain.... all these three makes hearing pathway(auditory pathway) and all consists of nerve cells

you can use a sentence " doctors say , the nerve cells in my auditory(hearing) pathway are damaged due to gas and i am unable to hear partially( or totally)"

best of luck alexander

Originally Posted by a_medico

please describe what is Using Neutral Networks in Medicine.. it will be difficult for them to understand.

Why? I'm a physicist by training and I understand quite well what he means.

a_medico wrote:
please describe what is Using Neutral Networks in Medicine.. it will be difficult for them to understand.

Waxwing replied:
Why? I'm a physicist by training and I understand quite well what he means.

Alexandr_S originally wrote "Neutral Networks", which I corrected to read "Neural Networks". ( Computer Science )

I'm wondering if he can avoid the "rumor channel" entirely and simply write:

"Doctors say that nerve cells have been destroyed." and "I know your institute is researching ways to rebuild nerve cells."

Barbara

Ouch. There goes my job as a proofreader. Thanks Barbara

Oh! Waxwing, please don't take my previous response as any kind of dig. If you knew me better, there would be no question that I was simply stating a fact to avoid confusion.

I have a terrible time proofreading my own work. Whenever possible, I'll have a colleague look it over because I have a tendency to see what I intended to write rather than what I actually wrote.

I hope Alexandr_S isn't overwhelmed with our discussion and that he sends this letter. I am confident he will be understood and the cooperative effort he proposes is sensible and potentially beneficial for both him and the institution he's approaching.

(Nice to "meet" you, Waxwing!)

Barbara

Thank you everybody! You have helped me very much!
Yes, I'll correct my letter, and I'll not be disgraced.

1. Moscow State Institute of Radio Engineering, Electronics and Automation is official name, it will be better variant.
2. I sow your link about ear anatomy. So, in English it is - "My outer and inner hair cells of the organ of Corti have been particularly destroyed"
3. I hope they will understand Using Neutral Networks in Medicine without describe.
4 Neural Networks is not mistake. It is misprint.

Thank you again!