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Thread: Impossible English

  1. #1
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    Impossible English

    Here's some English for you Russians!

    In case you've ever wondered what an english impossible for natives to understand sounds like:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=T4FK6ykR9Qc

    Any Russians here speak Jamaican Creole? LOL

    I bet 95% of native English speakers can't understand 95% of what this guy's saying!!

    Here's my shot at it:

    Out in the streets they call it...
    Welcome to Jamrock...
    ...Handbag...knapsack
    Melody your girlfriend can't talk...
    On the beach with a few club sodas, bedtime stories...Chuck Norris
    ...Do what them got to, won't think twice to shot you, don't make them spot you, unless you carry guns a lot too...
    ...Block off traffic...
    Police come in the jeep and dem can't stop it...
    ...Catch up like a bad habit...
    ...Rastafari stands alone...
    Welcome to Jamdom, where people are dead a random, political violence can't done (?)...
    You can get blind by stardom...no digging of kings a call...
    ...Sick this sufferation sick me, them suit no fit me, to win election them trick me then them don't do no-thing at all; come on let's face it, a ghetto education's basic, and most that they use them waste it, and when they waste it, that's when they take them guns, replace it and they don't stand no chance at all...magazine in them back pocket...
    Shock sock it...them a run...
    Cops block it...
    Stop clock it...
    ...If them run no Tyrones...
    South side north side...East coast, west coast...???...Jamaica Jamaica, etc...

    Wow. Of what I caught: Really "incorrect" grammar, as you can tell! Weird use of pronouns...!

    My favorite line: "This sufferation sick me." Totally innovative. "Sufferation" and the using of "sick" as a transitive verb...freakin' sweet!

    Learn Jamaican Creole and you might just be the coolest Russians around!

    исправьте мои ошибки :P

  2. #2
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    Creoles are typically considered to be distinct languages, so that's not surprising. It's like saying Italian vs. Spanish. Obviously, those two speakers aren't going to understand 100% of each others words.
    Заранее благодарю всех за исправление ошибок в моём русском.

  3. #3
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    Ey pickney, dem a tru tings unu seh.
    исправьте мои ошибки :P

  4. #4
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    Out in the streets they call it murder.
    Welcome to Jamrock, jump with the...
    ...Handbag... you knapsack your backpack
    this Melody your girlfriend can't talk some might not know this...
    Im'a come around like tourists on the beach with a few club sodas, bedtime stories... like the name Chuck Norris
    I don't know the ... because ... Do what them got to, won't think twice to shot you, don't make them spot you, unless you carry guns a lot too...
    ... stop laugh and block off traffic... and then we ... pop off .. with the pin file... and then drop it
    Police come in the jeep and dem can't stop it...
    some say ...they wanna catch up like a bad habit... if you don't have it
    ...Rastafari stands alone... welcome to jamrock out in the streets, they call it murder.
    Welcome to jamdom, where people are dead a random, political violence can't done (?)... pure ... and fantom
    You can get blind by stardom no digging of kings a call... who amount to ... so wave no one if you with me ...sick this sufferation sick me, them suit no fit me, to win election them trick me then them don't do no-thing at all; come on let's face it, a ghetto education's basic, and most that they use them waste it, and when they waste it, that's when they take them guns, replace it and they don't stand no chance at all. And thats why... automatic(?) magazine in them back pocket... on the streets at night time
    Glocks my luck rocket... Shock sock it...them a run up
    Cops block it... and from no ...
    Stop clock it...
    ...If them run no Tyrones... broke...
    South side north side welcome to jamrock East coast, west coast welcome to jamrock Out in the street they call it murder
    ...Jamaica Jamaica, etc...


    Hope it helps =)))))
    Вот это да, я так люблю себя. И сегодня я люблю себя, ещё больше чем вчера, а завтра я буду любить себя to ещё больше чем сегодня. Тем что происходит,я вполне доволен!

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    When I went to the Cayman Islands of course there were lots of Jamaicans there. I found them almost impossible to understand and I have plenty of experience listening to hard-to-understand people. They were just speaking english too, there were no strange words, just a strange way of saying them.

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    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    [Intro]
    Out in the streets, they call it murder!

    [Verse 1]
    Welcome to Jamrock, camp where the thugs they camp at
    Two pounds a weed inna van bag
    It inna your hand bag, your knapsack, it inna your back pack
    The smell a give your girlfriend contact
    Some boy noy notice, them only come around like tourist
    On the beach with a few club sodas
    Bedtime stories, and pose like dem name Chuck Norris
    And they don't know the real hardcore
    Cause Sandals a now back too, the thugs they have do what them got to
    And won't think twice to shoot you
    Don't make them spot you, unless you carry guns a lot too
    A pure tuff things come at you

    When Trenchtown man stop laugh and block-off traffic
    Then them wheel and pop off and them start clap it
    With the pin file dung and it a beat drop it
    Police come inna jeep and them cant stop it
    Some say them a playboy (them) a playboy rabbit
    Funnyman a get dropped like a bad habit
    So nobody pose tuff if you don't have it
    Rastafari stands alone!

    [Chorus]
    Welcome to Jamrock, Welcome to Jamrock
    Out in the streets, they call it murder!

    [Verse 2]
    Welcome to Jamrock, poor people are dead at random
    Political violence, can done! Pure ghost and phantom, the youth
    theem get blind by stardom
    Now the Kings Of Kings a call
    Old man to Pickney, so wave one hand if you with me
    To see the sufferation sicken me
    Them suit no fit me, to win election they trick we
    And they don't do nuttin at all

    Come on let's face it, a ghetto education's basic
    A most a the youths them waste it
    And when they waste it, that's when they take the guns and replace it
    Then them don't stand a chance at all
    And that's why a nuff little youth have up some fat matic
    With the extra magazine inna them back pocket
    And have leisure night time inna some black jacket
    All who not lock glocks, them a lock rocket
    Then will full you up a current like a short circuit
    Them a run a roadblock which part thr cops block it
    And from now till a mornin not stop clock it
    If the run outta rounds a brought back ratchet

    [Chorus]
    Welcome to Jamrock (Southside, Northside)
    Welcome to Jamrock (East Coast, West Coast, huh, yo)
    Welcome to Jamrock (Conwell, Middlesex) Hey!
    Welcome to Jamrock
    Out in the streets, they call it murder!!!

    [Outro]
    Jamaica Jamaica! Jamaica Jamaica! Now!
    Jamaica Jamaica! Yo! Jamaica Jamaica!
    Welcome to Jamrock, Welcome to Jamrock
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  7. #7
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    I'm... speechless!

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    he probly googled it
    Вот это да, я так люблю себя. И сегодня я люблю себя, ещё больше чем вчера, а завтра я буду любить себя to ещё больше чем сегодня. Тем что происходит,я вполне доволен!

  9. #9
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dogboy182
    he probly googled it
    Yeah, I "probly" did
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by charlestonian
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogboy182
    he probly googled it
    Yeah, I "probly" did
    C'mon, and fess up.

  11. #11
    Властелин charlestonian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dobry
    Quote Originally Posted by charlestonian
    Quote Originally Posted by Dogboy182
    he probly googled it
    Yeah, I "probly" did
    C'mon, and fess up.
    Guilty as charged . You did not expect me to understand that mumbo-jumbo, did you? Google rules y'all
    Well, I don't know what to say. I want to say thanks to the Academy, to Mama, to Papa and to my dog. I love you all.

  12. #12
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    Sorry to dig up an old topic, Yes I speak it and no I'm not from Russia.

    Just look ay my user name....lol

  13. #13
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    "...Важно, чтобы форум оставался местом, объединяющим людей, для которых интересны русский язык и культура. ..." - MasterАdmin (из переписки)



  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lampada

    cool link and thanks for the welcome!

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