Thread: Compositions

Hello!
If any of you have some time to check this two texts, I'll be delighted. Theese are just two of my compositions that I write to prepare to the exam. The rest will follow The task for each composition is written in the beginning of it in italics. Thanks in advance.

An old car

An old car was left on the street near your apartment block several weeks ago. You telephoned the local Council to get them to take it away? but nothing has been done about it. The car is now causing a problems for residents.
Write a letter to the Council. In your letter
- describe the car
- outline the problems it is causing
- tell the Council what you want them to do

Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of an apartment in the block 2 and I would like to draw your attention to the car that was parked on the street in our block. This car was left there three weeks ago and since then has not been taken away.

The vehicle is definitely abandoned because it has not moved from the place where it is situated for a long time. Besides, the front glass is broken and one tire is absent. This car is located on the 5th street, has blue color. The registration number of the car is a555bc.

The car is situated near the road cross and causes problems. First, it was left in the place where the street is very narrow and, therefore, stands in other cars way. Recently the car started to cause another problem. Teenagers broke the front window and drew graffiti on its side. As a result, the car does not look like a great view.

I phoned local Council and told a manager about this problem last week. But the car is still on the street. I would like you to give instructions to remove this vehicle from the 5th street in the nearest future.

I hope the situation will be resolved soon.
Yours faithfully,
Sergey.

(207 words)

Applying for a job

You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who you knew when you were at school.
Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter
- say what job you have applied for
- explain why you want this job
- suggest what information the teacher should include

Dear Mr. John, I believe that you still remember me, because it has been such a long time since we saw each other. I'm writing in the hope that you wouldn't mind making me a favour and providing me with a pretty simple letter of reference.

I'm applying for a job as an electronics engineer for ABCD company. This is a work I has hoped to participate in since I was a teenager. You definitely should know that I was a student who was always addicted to electronic devices and radio. I also had high marks at physics, some radio subjects and disciplines that are connected to electronics. Altogether, this job is a brilliant job for me. Despite this, the salary that managers at ABCD company offer is much higher than my current salary.

As I mentioned before, I need a letter of reference to apply for this job. I hope that you have a little time to write short reference and send it to me. It would be great if you mentioned my good skills at electronics and described my character as a character of a person who is self-confident and tidy.

I'm really looking forward to read from you soon.
Best regards, Sergey.

(199 words)

sergey... here is the first one... I am American, so it is in that style.

Hey folks.. you know my style and I've had a hard day today... so if anyone sees that I missed something or has better suggestions, please jump in fix away!!

An old car

An old car was left on the street near your apartment block several weeks ago. You telephoned the local Council to get them to take it away? but nothing has been done about it. The car is now causing a problems for residents.
Write a letter to the Council. In your letter
- describe the car
- outline the problems it is causing
- tell the Council what you want them to do

Dear [s:st4qa2ep]Sir or Madam[/s:st4qa2ep] County Council:

I am a [s:st4qa2ep]resident of an[/s:st4qa2ep] tenant in apartment [s:st4qa2ep]in theb[/s:st4qa2ep] Block 2 and I would like to draw to your attention [s:st4qa2ep]to the[/s:st4qa2ep] a car that [s:st4qa2ep]was[/s:st4qa2ep] is parked on [s:st4qa2ep]the[/s:st4qa2ep] 5th street in our block. This car was left there (about/more than/over) three weeks ago and since then has not been [s:st4qa2ep]taken away[/s:st4qa2ep] moved. The vehicle is definitely abandoned [s:st4qa2ep]because it has not moved from the place where it is situated for a long time. Besides,[/s:st4qa2ep] as the front glass is broken and [s:st4qa2ep]one[/s:st4qa2ep] a tire is [s:st4qa2ep]absent[/s:st4qa2ep] missing. [s:st4qa2ep]This car is located on the 5th street, has blue color.[/s:st4qa2ep] The registration number of the car is a555bc and it is a blue (insert a make and model of car here) .

The car is situated near [s:st4qa2ep]the road cross[/s:st4qa2ep] an intersection and it is [s:st4qa2ep]causes[/s:st4qa2ep] causing problems. First, it was left in [s:st4qa2ep]the[/s:st4qa2ep] a place where the street is very narrow and[s:st4qa2ep],[/s:st4qa2ep] therefore [s:st4qa2ep], stands in other cars way[/s:st4qa2ep] making it very difficult for cars to get passed it. Additionally, [s:st4qa2ep]Recently the car started to cause another problem.[/s:st4qa2ep] teenagers have now broken [s:st4qa2ep]the[/s:st4qa2ep] a front window and [s:st4qa2ep]drew[/s:st4qa2ep] spray painted graffiti on its side. As a result, the car [s:st4qa2ep]does not look like a great view[/s:st4qa2ep] has become an eyesore and a public nuisance.

I phoned and spoke with [s:st4qa2ep]local Council and told[/s:st4qa2ep]a manager about this problem last week; [s:st4qa2ep].B[/s:st4qa2ep] but the car is still [s:st4qa2ep]on the street[/s:st4qa2ep] there. I would like for this car to be [s:st4qa2ep]to give instructions to[/s:st4qa2ep] removed [s:st4qa2ep]this vehicle[/s:st4qa2ep] from [s:st4qa2ep]the[/s:st4qa2ep] 5th street [s:st4qa2ep]in the nearest future[/s:st4qa2ep] immediately.

[s:st4qa2ep]I hope the situation will be resolved soon.[/s:st4qa2ep]
[s:st4qa2ep]Yours faithfully,[/s:st4qa2ep]
Sincerely,
Sergey.

(207 words)


Corrected Version
Dear County Council:

I am a tenant in Block 2 and I would like to draw to your attention a car that is parked on 5th street in our block. This car was left there (about/more than/over) three weeks ago and since then has not been moved. The vehicle is definitely abandoned as the front glass is broken and a tire is missing. The registration number of the car is a555bc and it is a blue (insert a make and model of car here) .

The car is situated near an intersection and it is causing problems. First, it was left in a place where the street is very narrow and therefore making it very difficult for cars to get passed it. Additionally, teenagers have now broken a front window and spray painted graffiti on its side. As a result, the car has become an eyesore and a public nuisance.

I phoned and spoke with a manager about this problem last week; but the car is still there. I would like for this car to be removed from 5th street immediately.

Sincerely,
Sergey

(about 180 words)

Here is the second one....

Applying for a job

You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who you knew when you were at school.
Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter
- say what job you have applied for
- explain why you want this job
- suggest what information the teacher should include


Dear [s:39nepk96]Mr. John[/s:39nepk96]Professor Smith:

[s:39nepk96]I believe that you still remember me, because it has been such a long time since we saw each other.[/s:39nepk96] Even though it has been such a long time since we last saw each other, I believe you may remember me from your (insert name of class). I'm writing in the hopes that you would[s:39nepk96]n't mind making me a favour and providing me with a pretty simple[/s:39nepk96] be kind enough to write a letter of reference for me.

I'm applying for a job as an Electronics Engineer for ABCD Company. As you may recall, this is [s:39nepk96]a[/s:39nepk96] the job [s:39nepk96]work[/s:39nepk96] I have [s:39nepk96]hoped to participate in[/s:39nepk96] been dreaming about since I was a teenager. You definitely should [s:39nepk96]know[/s:39nepk96] remember that I was [s:39nepk96]a[/s:39nepk96] the student who was always addicted to electronic devices and radios. I also had high marks [s:39nepk96]at[/s:39nepk96] in physics, some radio subjects and disciplines that are connected to electronics. Altogether, this [s:39nepk96]job[/s:39nepk96] is a brilliant opporunity [s:39nepk96]job[/s:39nepk96] for me. [s:39nepk96]Despite this, the salary that managers at ABCD company offer is much higher than my current salary.[/s:39nepk96]

As [s:39nepk96]I mentioned before, I need[/s:39nepk96]part of the job application, the company is requiring a letter of reference [s:39nepk96]to apply for this job[/s:39nepk96]. I hope that within the next week or two you will have a little time to write a short reference and send it to me. It would be great if you would mention[s:39nepk96]ed[/s:39nepk96] my good electronic skills [s:39nepk96]at electronics[/s:39nepk96] and described my character as a [s:39nepk96]character of a[/s:39nepk96] person who is self-confident and [s:39nepk96]tidy[/s:39nepk96] very organized.

[s:39nepk96]I'm really looking forward to read from you soon.[/s:39nepk96]Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need further information to write the letter.
Best regards,
Sergey.

(199 words)

Corrected Version

Dear Professor Smith:

Even though it has been such a long time since we last saw each other, I believe you may remember me from your (insert name of class). I'm writing in the hopes that you would be kind enough to write a letter of reference for me.

I'm applying for a job as an Electronics Engineer for ABCD Company. As you may recall, this is the job I have been dreaming about since I was a teenager. You definitely should remember that I was the student who was always addicted to electronic devices and radios. I also had high marks in physics, some radio subjects and disciplines that are connected to electronics. Altogether, this is a brilliant opporunity for me.

As part of the job application, the company is requiring a letter of reference. I hope that within the next week or two you will have a little time to write a short reference and send it to me. It would be great if you would mention my good electronic skills and described my character as a person who is self-confident and very organized.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need further information to write the letter.

Best regards,
Sergey.

(about 204 words)