Quote Originally Posted by Rtyom
Hi,

Overall, the text is a bit loose in coherence. I will comment on each thing.
(Since you did not put a single comma throughout your essay, I will not point at them.)

[I strongly hope that you will not get offended at the thorough critics.]

Сегодня
Typo, right?

[quote:2xmgaoif]Я встал в четверть восьмого. Я устал.
"Я устал" makes me think that the character was tired of sleeping, but there is no proof of this idea in the text. Then, it might mean that the sleep was uneasy and that is why the character is tired. Having concluded this, I think it is better to say something like "Я чувствовал себя неважно." However, the idea does not fit well, becasue it signals for specification of the character's state after being noticed about tiredness, but there is nothing of the kind until the end. So, the sentence must be omitted as deviating.

Без четверти восемь я пошёл на кухню.
The preposition "в" is unnecessary because of the preposition "без", which "localizes" the time point alone.

Обычно моя женa готовит завтрак но сегодня я хочу готовить сам.
The sentence is all right, but my eye stopped at "готовить сам" for a while. The character has already specified the breakfast, so it is expected that this breakfast has to be prepared. First off, the perfective form looks beautiful here. Second off, it requires the use of pronoun. Here we go: "...я хочу приготовить его сам."

Я думаю что я буду готовить несколько яиц с ветчиной и _ сыром.
Well, the narration is in the past tense. Thus, "я подумал" is more correct.
Why does one say "несколько яиц," when the first word that springs to mind is "яичница"?
"Буду готовить" feels like the process should take helluva time. Usually, it sounds "приготовлю."
"И немного сыра" is completely awkward. It is ungrammatical in two points: 1) "немного" cannot be in such word combination. The word form "немногими" is grammatical, but, firstly, is only used with countable nouns ("сыр" here is a "mass" noun, which you cannot count); second, in spite of it could be something countable, the combination is still awkward, because "немногими something countable" would be understood as you do not put all the stuff in the frying pan but only some portion. 2) And this leads to the point number two: you get rid of "многими" and leave "сыра". And it should be more grammatical. Apply the Instrumental case. Now, it looks "well-nourished": "Я подумал, что приготовлю яичницу с ветичной и сыром."

Мои собаки хотят есть но я сказал «Я ем раньше вас».
To get all the events connected, it is better to say "Мои собаки проголодались"

"Я ем раньше вас" is somwhow literal and makes me smile. Maybe a very little kid would say that in this situation. My variant is "Сначала сам поем (потом покормлю вас)."

Они сказали что они поняли.
If you meant it, that is inspiring.

Я приправил яйца _ солью и перцем.
The verb does not require the preposition.

Пока я завтракал я видел несколько облаков.
This one evokes strong d