Thread: Кое-кому хочется во всём обвинять американскую агентуру

I'm also reminded of this classic joke about Ilya Muromets:

Едет Илья Муромец по полю. Видит камень, на нем надпись: "Направо пойдёшь – коня потеряешь, налево пойдешь – сам умрёшь. Прямо пойдёшь – станешь п*дором."

Илья слезает с коня, думает, "как это п*дором?", разозлился, пошёл прямо. Смотрит, на берегу речки сидит трёхглавый Змей-Горыныч, рыбу ловит...



Илья думает, "это он что ли меня п*дором сделает? Ну щас я ему покажу, где раки зимуют!"

Выхватил он меч и две головы Змею-Горынычу отрубил.

Третья голова поднимается, грустно и тихо говорит:
- Ну не п*дор ли ты Илья после этого?!


Usually "п*дор" implies "a damn lousy stinking homosexual," but sometimes it's a vulgar synonym for "козёл" in the figurative sense of "mean, obnoxious, unpleasant person" -- in other words, it has the same double meaning as "c*cksucker":

Ilya of Murom is riding through a field. He sees a stone, and on it an inscription: "Go right, and you'll lose your horse. Go left, and you yourself will die. Go straight ahead, and you'll become a c*cksucker."

Ilya gets off his horse, he's thinking, "How could it turn me into a c*cksucker?" Finally he flew into a rage and went straight ahead. He takes a look, and there on the riverbank is Zmei-Gorynych, the three-headed dragon, just sitting and fishing.

Ilya thinks, "Can he really be the one who's gonna make a c*cksucker out of me? I'll show him who's boss!"

And he whips out his sword and chops off two of Zmei-Gorynych's heads.

The dragon raises his third head and says in a sad, quiet voice: "Well, if this doesn't qualify you as a c*cksucker, nothing does!"

Скотина literally means cattle. IDK, there is a word scum, although it's not a direct equivalent, I think it's the closest possible equivalent.