Thread: Ok, tell me if you've heard this one

You know that coffe in Russian is supposed to be masculine, right? It's dumb, there is no rhyme or reason to it, it feels like neutral and it should be neutral, like cacao or milk. Except Russians probably got the word from the French who call it le cafe... Just my theory.

Anyway, all Russians, even the ones with good grammar, keep making the mistake of calling coffe оно, instead of он, and they all keep correcting each other. It's hillarious. But wait, that's not the joke yet. Here goes:

Известный русский писатель приходит в буфет Дома писателей и говорит:
- Дайте мне одно кофе.

Буфетчица (tell me what it is in English, by the way) наливает кофе, а сама бормочет под нос (speaks under her breath):
- Такой писатель, а не знает русского языка.

Приходит известный русский поэт и тоже говорит:
- Дайте мне одно кофе.

Буфетчица:
- Ну вот, великий поэт, а тоже по-русски не умеет говорить.

Приходит народный писатель Дагестана (Расул Гамзатов, вы его не знаете) и громко говорит:
- Дайте мне, пожалуйста, ОДИН КОФЕ!

Буфетчица:
- Надо же, дикий человек, а по-русски говорит лучше, чем наши!

- ... И ОДИН БУЛКА!

Буфетчица = Barmaid, barrista, etc... A person that operates a coffee shop/station

So, is the joke that he uses masculine for everything? I think my teacher told us that one, it's very familiar...
-Fantom

That's it! A characteristic of someone who does not speak Russian as a first language.