Thread: HOUSE, M.D. Encyclopaedia :)

Hi, this is Russian "HOUSE, M.D. Encyclopaedia", a creation of some unknown fan.
The subhead states that this is a "Guide for kids", and I think that the matter-of-fact and slightly childish way of telling the story is hilarious. I couldn't reproduce it fully in my horrible English translation, but I hope you'll enjoy this nonetheless.

Sometimes we get ill.
-> Drugs
-> An ill person
-> Friends and relatives

An illness, it's when your body is out of order. Something hurts, for example. Sometimes we get ill out of the blue.
// When we are walking down a street.. Or telling a speech... Or jump from a diving board..

Just a second ago we were all right, and suddenly an illness happens.
//Bueee
//Eww

In that case people call the ambulance, and the ill person is taken to the hospital. They try to determine what caused the illness there. This process is called "a diagnosis".

Sometimes the ilness is determined correctly, and the patient goes away happy.
But sometimes doctors make a mistake.

// Doctor, why did you cut my legs off? I came to you with a headache!

Then everything ends badly. A patient can even die.
Some doctors diagnose better than others. The most lucky of all is some hospital in America, because it has doctor House.
"House" means a house in English.
->A hospital. Doctor House works here
->A hospital (it's a house too)

Doctor House is always unshaven and with a cane.
-> bristle
-> enigmatic look
-> a cane

He needs his cane because his leg hurts badly. It's a consequence of the old surgery.
To escape pain his leg causes him House eats Vicodin.

As a matter of fact, Vicodin is narcotic. Narcotics make you see things.
-> things
-> more things

But House doesn't see things after eating Vicodin - he sees them only after more potent narcotics.

House is very badtempered. Probably, because his leg hurts. He thinks, for example, that everybody lies.
//My stomack hurts.
//You lie!

If House would met a math professor, he would explain that this is impossible.
//If everybody lies it means that you lie too, thus you lie that everybody lies, thus someone tells the truth.

Luckily, House didn't meet math professors. Yet.
House has more bad habits. For example he likes watching TV series.. lying near the comatose patient.

But for all that House is a brilliant diagnostician. Sometimes he determines the illness at a glance.
// It's a somethingylitis.

But more often then not he doesn't look at his patients at all.
Sometimes even House is mistaken.
//Weird. I thought it was somethingylitis, but it was somethingiosis.

Luckily he saves more patients than he kills.
killed patients ------ saved patients
Only because of that he's still employed.

.. to be continued ..

gRomoZeka!

My Hubby and I are ROLF laughing at this as we are BIG "House" fans! As a matter of fact we were just about to go watch the latest episode that I had taped because we had missed it last week.

Is House that popular over there? Of course Everybody Lies!

It is odd, most of the shows we watch.... the main characters are British playing with American accents!!!!

Hi, rockzmom! I'm happy that you and your Hubby liked this! I'll add more pages shortly.

House is very popular here and has a huge fan community - mostly people who are 35 yrs and younger (simply because this age group is more computer literate and has more opportunities for watching new shows ). My Mom loves 'House, MD' too. Me? I like it a lot, and I adore Hugh Laurie, but I was more Dexter's fan until the horrible third season.

PS. The last episode about a "death cat" was fun!

gRomoZeka, вот умора! Просто умора! Иногда я люблю Хаусa, а иногда он меня бесит. С его пациентами всегда случаются припадки. Каждую неделю!

Ещё больше пожалуйста! Мои поздравления автору рисунков!

gRomoZeka, this is hilarious! Very, very funny! Sometimes, I like House, but sometimes he's annoying. His patients always have seizures. Every week!

More of this, please! Congratulations to the cartoonist!

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

House is very popular here and has a huge fan community

Please tell me are "Life" and "Lie to Me" also popular?

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

PS. The last episode about a "death cat" was fun!

Yes, it was a great episode. Did you see the news story about the real life kitty "Oscar?" that this was based upon?"

[video:2oj2hsdh]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWUXQ0hXJHk[/video:2oj2hsdh]

And here is a VERY funny spoof about it from Jay Leno!

[video:2oj2hsdh]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0FUFxEyGJ0[/video:2oj2hsdh]

Now that you said this I remember that there was a 15-20 seconds episode in the news about this cat (or similar cat if it exists). Frankly speaking I thought at the moment "Who cares?" (just for the record I don't care about waterskiing dogs either).

But it was very interesting to watch the full story and compare it to the show.
The spoof is great too! I especially loved that the cat mewed murderously while doing his black deed.
Thank you for the links!

Back to the TV shows.. "Life" is rather unknown. I've never heard of it until you mentioned it in your post. Then I did some googling and learned that people do watch it (very few, though), but response is rather cool.

You should understand that TV shows usually need to gather momentum before gaining popularity here. Since they are not on TV it takes some time until first fans spread the word, so to speak. Another thing is that many people here prefer watching new shows in one go after the 1st season ends, so it will be more clear after the first season finale. But I must admit that revies and opinions were rather discouraging so far.

"Lie to Me" is much more popular comparing to "Life" (thanks to Tim Roth, of course, we love him here, he-he)! Its Russian title is "Theory of lie". But of course it doesn't even come close to House in the terms of popularity (yet?). Actually, House did a bad service to it (and many other shows). Now almost any show with a strong or excentic/antisocial/whatever protagonist who solves something is automatically called "a House wannabe", and local cinema snobs don't take it seriously.

I watch "Lie to Me" too. And I agree to others who say that it's, ahem,.. I don't want to offend anybody..but it's somewhat boring and predictable. I still enjoy it, though, maybe because I loved "Deceiver"* long ago! It was known in the ex-USSR under the title "Polygraph detector", and when I started watching "Lie to me" I was under a misconception that it's some kind of sequel to this movie. And then I kinda took to it.

* "Deceiver" (1997) - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119527/

Спасибо, Winifred! Я рада, что тебе понравилось! Постараюсь выложить продолжение поскорее.

Originally Posted by Winifred

gRomoZeka, вот умора! Просто умора! Иногда я люблю Хауса, а иногда он меня раздражает (you may even say "он меня бесит", it's more colloquial and more expressive too) . С его пациентами всегда случаются припадки. Каждую неделю!
Выкладывай еще, пожалуйста!

That's true, they always have fits. And rectal bleeding every other episode. )))

How would I say: Congratulations to the author of this cartoon? Поздравляете с автором карикатуры?

I think it's better to say "Мои поздравления автору (рисунков)!" or simply "Автор молодец!".

gRomoZeka,

Life, has a certain sense of humor that I was not certain would translate well. They have these great one liners and as I mentioned in my thread about movies, right now the storyline is actually about the Russian mob!

The season opener for this year had a GREAT scene... I don't know if you can access it as I could only find it on NBC
http://www.nbc.com/Life/video/clips/...-place/709702/

But the main guy Crews, tells the bad guy he is going to shoot him on the count of three if he does not come out and ends up shooting him on two... the guy complains and Crews says, "I rounded up!"

Lie to Me, we watch this on every week with the girls. I love how they use real photos of politicians and such as examples!

Originally Posted by rockzmom

Lie to Me, we watch this on every week with the girls. I love how they use real photos of politicians and such as examples!

I love the intro, or whatever it's called! (The sequence they show in the beginning). The images of real people are nice too, reminds me of the Pease's books. I'm not sure it's so straightforward in real life, though. But who knows.. I'm not Cal Lightman after all.

I couldn't watch the clip from "Life", but I'm going to watch this show, since you recommend it so highly.

...right now the storyline is actually about the Russian mob!

Oh, NOOOOOO! Not again.
I wonder will I ever see a normal Russian in American movie and not a nutter or a criminal.. On the second thought I'm unfair.. Guys in Red heat and Jackal were not bad (but they still were not normal ).

PS. A Russian student from "The Oxford Murders" (200.




Seriously, what's wrong with your filmmakers?

Шонибуделёз!
You have made my day, Громозек, by this one word!

Originally Posted by Leof

Шонибуделёз!
You have made my day, Громозек, by this one word!

Самой понравилось. Там дальше вообще такие уморительные названия, у меня все и застопорилось из-за того, что не знаю как перевести.

To tell the truth, House could diagnose the illness single-handedly. But he thinks it's more fun with a team.
-> a team

To determine an illness House shouts at his team, and they call out deseases at random.
//YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS!
It's called "a diffirential diagnosis".
//inflamation of cunning
//buttocs encephalitis
//screwed brain

House writes down all theories on the special board, and then crosses them out. He writes the symptoms there too.
// * a list of diseases that sound really hilarious in Russian. Sorry, I can't translate them. A lot of wordplay in action.
Only House is allowed to touch the marker.

House has three guys on his team.
The black one is Foreman. He was a criminal, but then he became a doctor. He's also a neurologist.

The beautiful girl is Cameron. She's an immunologist. She was very kind before House somewhat retrained her. Now she's just kind.
She married a cancer patient a long time ago. And he died.
House knows this and always taunts her.

The blond's name is Chase. He's an intensive care specialist. He sucks up to House often, though House doesn't care.